This is weird…People are remembering me

When I became severely ill in 2009, I quietly exited the world. When I could no longer attend events, people forgot about me. Holidays and birthdays came and went, and no one sent me greetings. Special celebrations would be held for special occasions, and my invitation never came.

This year, there seems to have been a shift in the world. Suddenly, people are remembering when my birthday is. I received several birthday cards this year.

And then this December, I am receiving Christmas cards. Usually my mail during this time of year is slim. I get a card from one or two relatives. Occasionally someone remembers me and addresses a card to my parents as “Mr. & Mrs. & Family”.

But this year, I have received seasonal greetings from quite a few people. I actually have a “stack” of cards. This seems so foreign to me. I had to dig through my stationery box to find holiday greeting cards. As each card arrives in my mailbox, I then slowly begin the process of writing a thank you note for the person’s kindness.

(I say slowly, because the muscles in my hand fatigue quickly. Writing just a short message takes a tremendous toll on my hand and causes quite a bit of pain. I can only write out one card a day and then need to let my hand rest for a day or two.)

I feel so blessed and honored so many people have remembered me this year. Thank you for your kindness.

Closed Captioning: Another New Adventure

From time to time, YouTube sends me emails about ways to improve my channel. I really enjoy these notices because they contain valuable information. Recently, they sent me information on how to create closed captioning on my videos. I watched a video on how to change the closed captions which are on my current videos.

Through trial and error, I discovered how to insert the actual transcript of my videos and create closed captions. I then have to watch the video to make sure the captions sync with the video.

I wish I could say this is a quick and easy process, but it is not. The “auto-sync” feature works, but it often breaks the captions at the wrong place or changes the captions too quickly. I have to re-configure the captions. It can take 30-40 minutes to align the captions with my speaking. It is a tedious process, but I hope the end product will make my videos accessible to more people.

Six Years on a Ventilator

On December 5, 2016, I woke up and could not breathe. I went to my doctor's office. After being evaluated, I was sent to the hospital to be admitted. While at the hospital, a respiratory therapist fitted me with a mask and had me try non-invasive ventilation. I was scared and felt so alone.

The following day, a non-invasive ventilator was ordered for home use. Later in the day, on December 6, 2016, I was sent home with a ventilator. 

 I could never have imagined my life changed at the moment. I could never have imagined from that time forth, I would be attached to a ventilator wherever I went. My ability to breathe on my own was compromised. I was entering a new phase in my medical journey.

I will not lie. Six years ago seems like a lifetime ago. I have had more life or death situations than care to think about. I have had to learn about respiratory equipment and tracheostomy tubes. It has been a crash course and many trials and errors.

I hope, wish and pray one day I will wake up and never need a ventilator again. But in the meantime, I rejoice for the medical science and technology which helps me keep on keeping on.

May this next year be free from medical complications and hospitalizations. May this next year be my best year yet. Thank you for all your support. Happy Ventilator Sixth Anniversary!

Panic! I have 4 minutes to make it to my appointment!

Last week, I had a doctor’s appointment. Before going to the clinic, I planned extra time to stop off at the grocery store to buy some food. That shopping experience took longer than anticipated. (For more details about my grocery store fun, please click here)

When I got in the car and was ready to travel across town, I was panicked! It was 3:26 p.m. My appointment was at 3:30. Thankfully, traffic was light. The car glided through the roadways without any issues.

When we arrived at the clinic, there were no parking spots. We had to park really far away. I raced as fast as I could into the clinic. I signed in. It was 3:40. I was happy I was not terribly late for my appointment. Plus, this doctor usually runs behind. When called for my appointment reminder, the receptionist told me to be prepared to wait 2 hours to see the doctor.

I zip off to use the bathroom. When I exit, I am overwhelmed with fatigue and muscle tremors. Due to all the stress and chaos, my blood sugar is rapidly dropping. I am prepared for this. I have an apple in my pocket and water stashed in my backpack. I take out the water and chug down nearly an entire half liter. I then hurriedly eat the apple.

I just get done with the apple and then a nurse calls me. I gather up all my medical equipment, and the nurse pushes me in my wheelchair. She takes me to an exam room. She takes my vitals. She then has me pack up all my medical equipment and takes me to a different room. I get my ventilator and heated humidifier plugged in to the wall outlet.

I am getting myself adjusted in my wheelchair when the nurse comes back. “Oh sorry, “ she says. “You are next to see the doctor. We need to switch rooms.”

I unplug my equipment and pile it back on to my lap. We change to a different room. I then unload my equipment and get settled again.

By this time, I am extremely tired. I desperately want to put my feet up as blood is rapidly pooling in my legs. This is causing my heart to beat quickly. However, I know it will only be a few minutes until the doctor comes in to see me. I decide to endure my symptoms.

A few minutes later, the doctor enters. The appointment goes well. I am on antibiotics for an infection. The infection has not cleared. The doctor tells me he will prescribe one more week of medicine. I silently pray to God, “Oh, please. I really need two more weeks or antibiotics.”

The doctor briefly chats with me. As he is filling out my medical report, when he gets to the treatment plan, he stops. His hands hang over the keyboard with his index finger hovering over the number 1. After a few moments, he says, “One week of antibiotics may not be long enough. I am going to prescribe 2 weeks of antibiotics.” I silently praise God for this kindness.

The appointment ends. I then wait at checkout to schedule my next appointment. The woman in front of me takes a long time. Thankfully, the receptionist sees me waiting. She looks up my chart and schedules my next appointment. She gives me my appointment card. I leave the building (and the other woman is still sorting things out at the checkout desk).

When I get to the car, I praise God everything went so smoothly. When I look at the clock it is 4:37 p.m. I am overjoyed. When I was told the day before I would have to wait two hours to see the doctor, I had prayed to God that I would not have to wait that long. I had asked for my appointment to be finished before 5 p.m. And God had now answered my prayer in a favorable way. After a very long and strenuous day, this was such a wonderful kindness.

My Grocery Store Adventure!

Today, was an epic day. I needed to travel to the city to have a doctor’s appointment. Since I was going to be just a short distance from a very large grocery store, I decided to make a “quick” stop at the business to pick up some food.

From the moment I enter the store, there are scores of people with grocery carts heaping full. I am grateful they have some organic produce. I buy whatever the store has as I am almost completely out of my food supply at home.

I buy some other items such as frozen vegetables because there is a $2 off coupon when you purchase $10 worth of frozen. I buy some baking goods because there is a $3 off coupon when you purchase $15 worth. I knew about these coupons and loaded them on to my digital account before I left home. This way I do not need the coupons. They would come off automatically at the checkout.

When I arrive at the checkout area, my scooter which promised me when I began was fully charged (and should last for many hours) is now completely dead. The machine is beeping at me. The scooter would only go a few feet and then die. I manage to get in a checkout lane as I cycled the scooter on and off to crawl the short distance to a line.

When it is my turn, the checker quickly scans all my items. I tell the bagger I need a new scooter. The battery on this cart is dead. He dashes off to find me a different scooter.

When I am going to pay, I ask the checker if the coupons came off. She says no. I am really upset. I did not need the baking items. I have the checker take off the baking items from my bill. The frozen food is a puzzle if I should take it back. I cannot get these items any where but at this store. I tell the cashier there is a coupon. I did not take the coupon from the display in the frozen section because it is loaded on to my digital account. The checker has compassion. She gives me $2 off the frozen.

During this time, the bagger arrives with a new scooter. My groceries are loaded into the cart with a fully charged battery.

When paying, I have two forms of payment. One I use for groceries. And the other I use for non-groceries. My first transaction goes through without a hitch. The second transaction the credit card is declined. This frequently happens at this store. I almost always have to insert my card a second time before the payment is accepted.

As I insert my credit card a second time, the woman behind me, either very sympathetic to my cause or annoyed that I am taking so long, tells the checker to just add my second purchase to her bill. Before anything can be done, my credit card payment is approved. The cashier kindly tells the woman not to worry. The credit card was accepted.

After this very long expedition, I have to race to my doctor’s appointment…and another adventure is about to begin!

Click here to continue to part 2 of the story.  

Scratching My Trachea. Ouch!

Yesterday, I needed to film YouTube videos. I was going through my regular routine of setting up my room and changing into a nice top. When I took off my shirt, my bulky HME got caught in my shirt. The HME pulled on my tracheostomy tube. The tracheostomy tube came out a little ways. My tracheostomy tube then got stuck in my trachea.

HME

I tried and tried to get my tracheostomy tube back into the correct position, but it would not move. Finally, after using a lot of force, the tracheostomy tube slid back in.

Oh, how my trachea burned! I am pretty sure the incident caused damage to my trachea. My trachea was very sore for the rest of the day.

Moreover, my voice was quite weak. I managed to film my YouTube videos, but my voice was not a very good quality.

Today, my trachea is still very tender, and my voice is hoarse. I hope my trachea heals over the next week before I need to film more YouTube videos.

When the Weather Changes, My Health Changes

For many years, the fall of the year is very hard on my health. When the weather changes, my health starts to fail. I try very hard to ignore the calendar. I try to fool myself into believing summer is still here. But as the strong solar rays from the sun grow weaker and weaker, my health slips away.

I have made drastic lifestyle changes, which has helped get me farther along into the fall, but there seems to be a magic day in which my health changes just like the months on the calendar.

Yesterday, we had gloomy weather. I did not think anything of it. My energy was low. I pushed through the day. Today I woke up in a groggy haze. My body is as cold as a popsicle. I layered on thick winter clothing, but my hands, feet and nose are ice cold. Ah, yes. My health is changing just like the seasons.

I look to the calendar and assure myself there are only four months I need to push through—November, December, January and February—before the sun’s rays grow stronger, and the weather turns to spring.

Waiting for the phone to ring…

Yesterday, paperwork was submitted to a pharmacy to fill a prescription. Since the medicine needs to be infused through an intravenous line, it needs to be filled via a specialty pharmacy. This is always a long process, which frequently goes awry.

Today, I was waiting and waiting for the pharmacy to call to confirm my insurance information. Normally, the phone is silent. Days and even weeks go by without a single call. Today, however, the phone was ringing non-stop.

I kept looking and looking at the caller identification. My mom called, a few telemarketers called, three medical facilities called. I hoped each time my phone rang, it would be the pharmacy. However, as the clock passed 5 p.m., I knew all hope of the pharmacy calling was lost.

So, I wait, hope and pray tomorrow the pharmacy will call.

When God foils my week of plans

Last week was supposed to have been very busy. I was trying to juggle multiple different ventures.

First, I discovered on Sunday, it was home parenteral nutrition awareness week. This includes IV nutrition I used called TPN. I felt compelled to film a video about how I set-up my TPN.

On Monday, I make a late night video in my bathroom of how I set up my TPN nutrition. I miraculously make it through the video, and things go rather well when shooting. I stay up late editing the video.

On Tuesday, I fly around trying to get things done. I hit some walls which yield little fruit, but overall, I get a number of things accomplished.

The following day, I am supposed to have several medical appointments. I am to see my pulmonologist in the morning, my primary doctor in the afternoon and also have lab work drawn. I am stressed how everything is going to come together, but I assure myself God will make everything work.

Late on Tuesday, I receive a phone call. It is my pulmonologist’s office. The appointment has been cancelled. I am devastated. I have been having issues with swelling in my trachea since March. This is the fourth time the visit has been cancelled. I am nearly in tears. My trachea hurts so much. But I guess I will have to continue to wait—and pray my trachea does not swell completely shut.

Suddenly my busy Wednesday is no longer so busy. The stress of that day has been taken away.

Additionally, I am contacted by my respiratory therapist. She was planning on visiting me on Thursday. But now, she has decided to cancel and re-schedule for the following week. My busy week suddenly becomes mellow.

I thank God for the decrease of stress in my life, but I also pray for my trachea. With the holidays fast approaching, my trachea may not be examined until after the first of the year.

Did I get scammed by the ‘Fraud’ Department?

I am sitting in my bed, reading the Bible. The phone rings. It is an automated call. The voice asks for me using my full name. I am to push any button to continue. I am again told my full name and the last four digits of my credit card number. The computer tells me there’s fraud on my account. It then tells me it will connect me to the fraud department.

This is all very familiar to me. I have gone through this process several times. My bank or credit card contacts me. It is always an automated voice call. At the end of the message, it connects me to the fraud department.

When the woman at the fraud department answers, she immediately wants to know my credit card number. I am a little taken aback. How do I know this woman is really with my credit card company? I am tempted to hang up the call and call my credit card company using the number on the back of my card. Instead, I tell the woman I do not have my credit card number. She then asks for my telephone number and last four digits of my credit card number. I figure this is a safe to give since the company (or scammer) had already given me this information in the automated call.

The woman looks up my account. She tells me there is a $1 charge from a business I have never heard of. I tell her I have not used my card lately. It must be fraud. The woman then goes through a fraud report asking me if I am traveling, if I have the card in my possession, etc. The employee goes on a very long monologue which sounds as though she is reading from a sheet about the steps which will be taken to monitor my account and to investigate the fraud.



The representative says she will send out a new card to me, but she needs to verify my identity. She asks for my birth year, last four of my social security number and address. She also asks for the date the last time the card was used and where it was used.

I am VERY hesitant to give out this information. But again, it is only part of my information. If you have my phone number, you can easily find my address online. Can anyone do much with just four digits of my social security number or my birth year? I decide since the woman has an American accent, and has gone to great lengths to assist me in filing a fraud report, this is probably the fraud department at the credit card company. I give her the information. She tells me my new card will be sent out express mail, etc., etc.

When the phone call ends, I am overcome with panic. Maybe this woman was a scammer. I look up my account information to login in to my credit card account online. When I enter the site, I cannot find my credit card! I know the last four digits, but the card listed on the site has a different last four digits. I browse through the credit card information. I am able to discern from when the last credit card payment was that this was my old account. The number has already been changed. I feel a little bit better. I do not think a scammer would hack into my credit card account and change my account number.

When I logout of the account, I receive an email from my credit card company thanking me for contacting the fraud department. It gives details about the claim, all of which match what I discussed with the representative on the phone.

After the whole ordeal, I was a little shaken up. I decide if this ever happens again, I will hang up the phone and call my credit card company using the number on the back of my card. I do not want to be scammed by the ‘fraud’ department.

250,000 Views! Thank you!

Two and a half years ago, my mom told me I should start a YouTube channel. She described the videos she was watching and said I could make videos just as well as the people online.

I had been thinking for four years about starting a YouTube channel, but I did not have a camera. By a bizarre twist of events, I had recently ended up with a computer which had a web camera on it. I could now film videos.

I decided to take the plunge. What could be the worst thing which could happen? It flops and I go on with my life.

Surprisingly, my videos were successful. I was stunned. People wanted to watch my videos. I kept creating more and more videos, and eventually found a niche.

I was stunned when I logged in to YouTube and saw a notification which congratulated me on reaching 250,00 views. I was shocked. I had no idea my channel had that many views. What was a wonderful victory which I attribute to my mom pushing me and God allowing me to have the resources available to film videos.

 Thank you for all your love and support!

 

 

What a difference a week makes

Last week, things were falling apart. It was one obstacle after another: food poisoning, a frozen fridge, sewage backup in my bathroom and a broken down car. I was praying nothing else would happen, but of course, more things came up.

I had a medical appointment, and the doctor wanted to schedule a procedure. (I was not excited about that.) Then, I almost forgot to have my monthly labs drawn for IV nutrition, but praise be to God, I was reminded before driving 45 minutes home. However, the lab orders were partially rejected by my insurance company. I only was able to get some of the blood work drawn.

Next, my doctor messed up my prescriptions. One drug’s dosage was only one tenth of the amount I take. Another drug I was only given two tablets a day instead of three.
 

Then, I spent the week calling another doctor’s office asking for a prescription. After talking to the office seven times, finally at 6:30 p.m. on Friday, the prescription was processed at the pharmacy. And that was the turning point in my life.

Suddenly, things became better. This week, the procedure my doctor wanted me to have is on hold. I also found out the medical provider who is to do the minor surgery is one of my favorite people. He is highly skilled at his job. Also, a massive YouTube video ended up not being that much work. It came together much faster (and easier) than I anticipated. Additionally, I received a lot of very kind YouTube comments, which always make me smile.

It is hard to believe the difference between last week to this week. I hope this week I can get some rest.

I am praying not else happens…

The last few days have been chaotic. First, the refrigerator decided to freeze up. Everything had to be taken out of the refrigerator and placed in coolers. After the fridge thawed, the machine did not want to run properly. After a few restarts, the device finally started cooling off and has continued to run smoothly. Everything was returned back to the fridge.

Next, sewage backed up into my shower and overflowed my toilet. The smell was awful! Raw sewage was all over the floor and shower! I was dreading having to call a plumber and paying a lot of money to clear the line. But praise be to God, the blockage cleared when I tried to remove the cover over the shower drain. Then, there was an extensive clean-up. Everything seems to be working again.

Last night, my parents were using the car. When they wanted to return home, the car would not start. My dad tried using a car charger, but the car would not start. A tow truck was summed. After waiting 4 hours, the tow truck never came; the car was abandoned. After seeing my parents returned home safely, I went to bed and fell asleep around 2 a.m.

This morning, the tow truck was summoned again. Thankfully, this time it was there in less than 20 minutes. The car’s starter is not working. It had to be towed to the service station. The repair shop is really backed up with cars needing service. When we will get the car back is not known.

I am so exhausted. I am praying nothing else happens.

Weeping and Begging God. Then a MIRACLE!

Sometime in the last five years, I began following a young woman’s medical journey on Facebook. She is brave, but life has dealt her a less than ideal hand as far as her health is concerned. When an obstacle comes, she bravely puts on a stoic face and perseveres. She is such an inspiration.

Recently, an infection hit her body hard. It invaded her jaw, brain, hip, leg, etc. Her body was ravaged. The hospital where she was at was trying to help, but it was evident this young woman’s medical needs were far beyond what the hospital could offer. A request was made for her to go to one of the elite medical centers in the USA. A bed never became available.

Last week, the hospital gave up on my friend. They sent hospice in and said they were going to send her home. (She was being sent home to die.) I am not sure why, but I flew off into a hot rage! How dare this hospital treat this woman so poorly! They have dragged their feet over and over again, and the infection is spreading. Yes, it could end her life, but let’s see what the experts say at a world-renowned medical center.

I wept and sobbed. I cried out to God, “This is so not fair! Why is my friend stuck at that hospital? Why can’t she get better care?” I prayed and poured out my heart to God.

A few days later, I read an update. A miracle occurred. Her medical team decided she could continue to fight and should be transferred to the large hospital. My friend had been transferred and was seeing a plethora of specialists.

My sweet friend is by no means out of the woods. She had a VERY extensive surgery to get rid of the infection in her leg. She will have to have part of her jaw removed, have her jaw wired shut and wait for the infection to clear before going back in and fixing her jaw. She has a very long road to recovery…but there is a plan!

I have been praying for my friend day and night. I sincerely hope she is soon on the path to better health and this medical ordeal will quickly be nothing more than a distant memory.

A Forced Break to Deal with Unexpected Obstacles

For the last few months, I have been running on fumes. Every week, I plead with myself to get through another seven days. I beg for rest, but it never comes.

Late last week, I received a large packet in the mail. I have to re-certify my eligibility to receive my insurance. The process is long and tedious. It takes hours and HOURS to fill out the paperwork.

One part requires me to record my medical history for the last 12 months. I have little recollection of what happened yesterday, much less remembering all my medical appointments, tests, procedures, etc. for the past year. As I was scrolling through my hospital online chart, I paused to reflect back on my emergency department visits. I saw it has been a year since I was last plagued with severe blood clots. I did have some minor blood clots in June, but it was nothing which caused too much trouble.

That morning, when I woke up, I noticed my arm with my IV line (PICC line) was hurting. I shrugged it off. My arm hurts from time to time. I may have slept on my arm wrong. The following day, the pain was worse. On the third day, the pain in my arm radiated to my armpit and down to my wrist. I knew what this was—a large blood clot or multiple blood clots. I had to chuckle. Of course my blood clots are back at the exact time I am trying to get medical paperwork submitted and when I am reminded of all my previous year’s medical challenges.

I am trying to get my information submitted. I am also thinking about what I should do regarding the blood clot(s) in my PICC line arm. If I go in, they will most likely remove my line. If I do nothing, it will be a few weeks of pain, and I might be forced to go in to have the line removed anyway.

In the meantime, I have chosen to take a week off from my usual life. I need a break, but I also need the energy to sort out these unexpected obstacles.

Happy (Belated) 6th Anniversary!

As I look at the calendar, I realize the sixth anniversary for this blog has come and gone. Usually, it is a big celebration for me, but of late, I have been extremely busy. I hardly notice the date as the days pass by.

Six years ago, I wanted to chart my life's journey. My dear friend passed away. I wanted to do something which would honor her memory and also give me an avenue to express myself. I contemplated starting a YouTube channel, but who was I to make videos. I decided to begin writing a blog.

Now, six years later, I chuckle to myself that I ended creating a YouTube channel and filming videos anyway. I partially regret not having started my YouTube channels sooner, but it is also a blessing. I worked very hard on many of my blog posts. As I search for material for my YouTube channels, I often find myself reading my old blog posts. I am astonished how good my writing is. Some of my posts have become YouTube videos. It is a blessing to have so much content already finished. I just have to film and edit the video.

As I think back over the last six years, I could never have imagined what my life would be like today. A ventilator, tracheostomy tube, IV nutrition and an IV line keep me alive. Six years ago I said I never wanted to be attached to a machine, and yet, now I am attached to several machines all the time. Although my life has dramatically changed, I hope my love and devotion to God never fails.

A Long Hard Week

Last week was a week in which everything seemed to spire out of control. It was not anything one BIG thing, but several things. I had issues with my infusion company, my TPN was sent out late, I am supposed to get blood work done, but I do not have paperwork with the correct diagnosis code, I received a HUGE medical bill in the mail, etc.

I try to remain optimistic and hopeful, but the stress of everything wore me out. My body tolerates stress poorly, and now after having surgery on my pelvis, my lady parts scream out in pain when my body becomes tired.

I tried to go on a mini-vacation, but that too failed. I traveled to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy. There is a beach nearby. I thought I would get my medicine and swing over to the beach. I could look at the water and enjoy a few minutes of solitude. But, that did not happen. The pharmacy did not have my prescription filled. I spent 40 minutes waiting for it. By the time I exited the drug store, I was completely exhausted. My trip to the beach was aborted. I went home and spent the day in bed.

I am hoping this next week is a better week.

Arterial Blood Line. Let's never do one of those again!

Recently, I had surgery. Before my procedure, the anesthesiologist said she was going to place an arterial blood line into my wrist. The doctor promised to insert the line while I was asleep during the surgery.

If you do not know what an arterial blood line is, this is a needle which is placed into an artery. A line runs out of the artery and is connected to a machine. The machine monitors blood pressure. Arterial blood can be collected to monitor the levels of carbon dioxide, oxygen and electrolytes.

I have had a similar procedure done before in which a needle was used to collect arterial blood. It is one of the MOST PAINFUL procedures I have ever endured. I absolutely REFUSE to have my arteries accessed. I would have refused to have this arterial blood line placed; however, the anesthesiologist insisted upon it and promised to place it while I was unconscious.

The line was placed. I was glad I was not awake for it. Whoever inserted the needle missed on the first attempt. A second try was needed. The line was very painful. I pray I will never need one ever again.

Yippee!!! A Map!

 I am not sure when it happened, but sometime in my life I developed a love for maps. I love looking at maps of cities, ancient maps, historical maps, etc. Seeing maps helps my brain organize information. When I travel to a city, I love memorizing a map and having it stored in my brain.

At Bible study a few years ago, a very kind person brought some maps of the Middle East for me to have. Another member of the Bible study laminated the maps, and the maps have been happily making their appearances at almost every Bible study.

My love for maps must have made itself known to a relatively new member of Bible study. We were talking about Masada National Park in Israel. This week, she brought a pamphlet and map of the ancient site. She allowed me to take home the material so I could view at my leisure. I am so excited!!! I can't wait to study it!

A Perfectly Planned Appointment

Once a month, I have to travel 45 minutes to the laboratory to have my blood drawn for my monthly blood tests. These tests are needed to calibrate my IV nutrition called TPN. My monthly blood draw should have been last week, but with Independence Day (and I was having a lousy week of health), I told my infusion pharmacy I would have the tests done this week.

Every few months, I have an appointment to see my doctor. I never know when the appointment is. I am always told I will be called with the date and time. That never happens. Today, I thought I would call and check to see when my next appointment is. The receptionist informs me the appointment is tomorrow. I am thunderstruck.

Tomorrow!? Well, that works for me. I was planning on getting my blood drawn on Thursday, but tomorrow will work. My doctor and the lab are right across the hall from each other. I am glad I waited until this week to get my lab work done. I will be able to get everything accomplished in one visit to the medical center
.

How I spend my holidays…

As I scroll through social media, I see people at picnics, parades and fireworks celebrations. It looks like so much fun. People are smiling. Food is abundant, and everyone looks so relaxed.

I often wish I could join the people on my computer screen. I wish I had the energy to spend a day (or weekend) playing games and chatting with friends. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to leave my home.

Instead, I spend the day (like most other days) in bed. I push through fatigue and exhaustion. When it is time for fireworks, I stay home and watch a fireworks display from another community on television.

As my eyelids are heavy with sleep, I reflect back on previous holidays in which I was well enough to leave my home. As I drift to sleep, I ask God when I will be well enough to once again enjoy celebrations with family and friends.

Waiting Over a Week for My Telemedicine Appointment

 Four months ago, I had an appointment with my pulmonologist. She did her exam. At the end of the appointment, I asked for my next visit to be scheduled as a telemedicine appointment. The request was noted. I was given an appointment time.

Last week, I called the day before my appointment to confirm the time and date. I also checked to make sure the appointment was a telemedicine visit. The receptionist said the appointment was scheduled as being in-person, but she could change it to telemedicine.

On the day of my appointment, I waited and waited. No one called me. I know the office is busy. They sometimes do not get to the telemedicine visits until late in the day. No one ever called.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from the doctor’s office. The person apologized for my late telemedicine appointment. The woman asked, “Are you available today to have a telemedicine visit?” I said yes. The appointment was scheduled.

Yesterday, I waited and waited. No one called.

I am not in need of having the appointment. I keep it just to stay on the books as a patient. I wonder when I will actually have the telemedicine appointment.

You know you are tired when…

Last week was extremely stressful and chaotic. It was supposed to have been a nice peaceful week, but a number of unexpected things came up, which turned my tranquil life into panic at the disco!

This next week will also very busy. I need to follow-up on things which happened last week—call doctors’ offices, look at test results, check with the pharmacy for a prescription, etc.

To say I am tired today is an understatement. I am completely wiped out! Since I have a lot happening this week, I thought I would tape my YouTube early in the week. Well, it is filmed, but watching the clips is rather hilarious. One segment I am slurring my words and do not make sense. Through the magic of editing, the audio is fixed.

This evening, I was trying to take my medicines. I had a glass of water. I went to take a drink and completely missed my mouth. I spilled water all over my pants.

Next, I needed to go outside to water my mom’s plants on the porch. I needed to take off my sweatshirt and put on my jacket. Instead of taking off my sweatshirt, I took off my pants. I did not realize what I did until I almost went outside without pants on!

Next, I conveniently “watered” my foot with the water hose. I had to laugh. At least my foot is now wet just like my legs are.

I came inside and went to bed. I think I am done for the day.

 

 

 

When a Doctor’s Office Cares

Since February, I have been in significant pain from an ovarian cyst caused by endometriosis. I have been trying to get medical intervention, but my efforts have yielded little fruit. I have been to the emergency department twice and have seen four different providers. And nothing has been done to get rid of my cyst, which continues to grow.

In desperation, I reached out to a clinic almost 400 miles away. The clinic has been fabulous. They are prompt in their communications and are very organized. My visit with the doctor is not scheduled until mid-August.

Today, I had a SEVERE pain attack from my ovarian cyst. I was shaking uncontrollably. Despite taking over-the-counter medicine for pain, the pain refused to let up. In my distress, I reached out to the clinic and explained I cannot wait to see the doctor. I am in so much pain.

A nurse has reached out to the doctor and is trying to get me a sooner appointment. She will let me know if I am able to see the physician earlier than my scheduled appointment.

I was left dumb-founded. After all this time, someone actually cares. Someone is trying to do something for me to help get this ovarian cyst resolved before it becomes a medical emergency. I pray I am able to get a sooner appointment, but if I can not, what a blessing it has been to find a doctor’s office with compassion.

Forgetting. Can I blame this on my ovarian cyst?

Over the weekend, a woman contacts me regarding getting a tracheostomy tube and using a ventilator. She has a lot of questions. As I read her email, I immediately think, “This would make a great YouTube video.” I respond to the woman’s request, giving her brief answers. I explain I will make a YouTube video which will give more details.

I look at the calendar. I could rush the video and release it on June 5. But I do not want to do this as I like to have time to write the script, film the video, edit it and then go back through the video and re-edit it at a later time. The process takes about two weeks. I tell the woman I will release the video on June 12.

I immediately begin writing the script. I write and re-write the words. I am fairly happy with the script. I just need to film it, do production work, edit it, etc. I plan to shoot the video this week.

When I film this week, I am extremely tired. I have on my computer desktop the video I had originally planned to tape this week. Without thinking, I open up that script and film that video. It is only after I am done filming do I realize I taped the wrong video!

I sigh, and am thankful I can still film the trach/vent video next week. It will be a rush to get it done, but at least I will not break my promise to the woman. I have been extremely preoccupied with my ovarian cyst. I think I will credit this slip of the mind to my ovarian cyst…because the only other option is admitting my mind does not remember like it used to (and that means I have to admit I am getting old!).

Why I panic when the gas tank is low.

 Whenever I get into the car with my dad, I often hear the low gasoline chime. The car is low on gas. But, the place where we get gas is about 45 minutes away. My dad refuses to get gas anywhere else. My dad tells me the gas indicator is just an approximation. There is always more gas in the tank.

As a child, the gasoline station we used was on the other side of town. There was a hill and several stop signs. During one adventure, the car said it was out of gas. But have no fear. My dad was going to skip getting gas at a number of other gas stations. He was going to his petroleum station. As we ascended the hill, the car lost speed. It coughed and chugged to get up the hill. I was paranoid the car was going to turn off, and we would roll backwards into the traffic behind us. Praise God, that did not happen.

Upon reaching the top of the hill, the car lurched forward, and we gained some speed. I was nearly in tears as my father refused to stop at a gasoline station. No, we had to continue on to the gasoline station he preferred. Before reaching the station, the car ran out of gas. Praise God, there was no one exiting the gasoline station. We coasted into the station. My dad steered the car into the closest pump. He applied the brake, and we stopped.

My dad in triumph said, “See. We made it!” He thought he was deserving of a gold medal. I, on the other hand, was sick to my stomach and was crying.

 Since that incident, I always make sure there is at least 1/4 of a tank of gas. I am paranoid to run out of gas.

For what it is worth, today, my dad again had an empty gas tank. The car said it had 46 miles until empty. My dad needed to drive 45 miles to get to his preferred gas station. I am very glad I am not in the car with him. I cannot tolerate the stress of an empty gas tank. I hope he makes it to the station. He has in the past run out of gas.

It’s exhausting to be in pain

When I was at a recent doctor’s appointment, the physician was shocked at the size of my ovarian cyst. She said, “That must cause a lot of pain. How do you sleep at night?” The question took me off guard. I had pain, but it did not interfere with my sleep. Yes, if I woke up, the cyst was uncomfortable, but after tossing and turning, I could usually find a position which was more comfortable and fall back to sleep.

Since this weekend, however, my pain has changed. My ovarian cyst is causing a tremendous amount of pain. I have a hard time falling asleep. I also have woken up in the middle of the night screaming in pain. Additionally, I usually wake up early in the morning from the pain.

I am trying to only take over-the-counter pain medicine, but it often does not touch the pain. I break down and pill split a precious pain pill. Sometimes the pain medicine lessens the pain; sometimes, the pain remains the same. I grit my teeth and try to continue on with my day.

I am absolutely exhausted. The constant pain is using up a lot of my energy. Plus, not getting much sleep is also taxing my body. I hope and pray I can have my ovarian cyst removed (and also have other endometrial complications resolved) with surgery. When will this happen? Probably not until the end of summer.

One obstacle after another. Crawling through the days

Last week was extremely stressful. My monthly reminder of womanhood came. Five loads of laundry later, the mess was cleaned up. Then I had to film YouTube videos. I continued to be sick with my monthly friend. I went to a doctor’s appointment and was sent to the hospital. Sleepless nights followed. I had two drug reactions. Before getting anything resolved, I was sent home. Then it was time to unpacked from the hospital and frantically get caught up with life.

My computer’s battery failed while in the hospital. My mom tried to get the computer fixed, but it would cost over $1,000 for repairs. Thankfully, my mom gave me her old computer,
and she bought a new device. Then I had to transfer all my files to her old computer. I had to film more YouTube.

When I thought things might be calming down, I found out my appointment with a doctor this week needed a referral. Without a referral, the clinic would not bill my insurance. I would then be on the hook for the charges. I had to cancel the appointment. So, I now need to get an appointment to see my primary care provider and get a referral to the doctor.

Lastly, I need to find a gynecologist who will be able to remove my ovarian cyst. Perhaps this is a futile search, but there is one more doctor’s office I can call to ask if they accept my insurance. My ovarian cyst is growing and is causing pain. I need it removed, but who will do the surgery remains a mystery.

A Billing Victory!

In December, my IV line called a PICC line was running slow. Blood clots had developed in the line, which was impeding the flow. I received a medicine from my infusion company to help break up the clots in my PICC line.

In January, I received a bill for $35. I was confused. The medicine is covered by my insurance. After talking to a woman in the billing department, I realized the $35 charge was not for the medicine but for the supplies associated with administering the medicine.

I have two main insurance plans—a primary and secondary. The primary covers most items; however, it does not cover any charges associated with the administration of medicine. Thankfully, my secondary insurance covers these charges.

The woman at the billing department saw the bill had not been sent to my insurance companies. She put a note on my account to have the bill sent to my insurance.

In February, I received another bill. I called. I was again told the bill was not submitted to my insurance. Another note was placed on the account.

In March, I received another bill. I called. This time I was told my primary insurance refused payment. I said, “Yes. They do not cover that charge. Please bill my secondary insurance.” A note was placed on my account.

In April, I received another bill. I called. I was told my primary insurance did not pay. I said it needed to be submitted to my secondary insurance.

Now, I was getting frantic. I only had eight days before the bill was in danger of being sent to collections. I contacted my nurse from the infusion company. She put in requests to the billing department for my bill to be sent to my secondary insurance. She did not receive a response back from anyone.

Today, the last day my bill before the bill was going to sent to collections, I called the infusion company. I had my credit card in hand. I was going to pay the bill rather than have $35 hurt my credit. If the bill was sent to collections, I would be forced to pay it anyway. I mind as well pay it before my credit is ruined.

When I called, I decided to not go through the automated bill pay. Instead, I opted to talk to someone. When the woman answered, I explained I wanted to check the balance on my bill. I gave her all my information. Behold, the bill had a ZERO balance! I could not believe it. I was nearly jumping around my room. Oh happy joy! Praise God! This bill is finally resolved!

Searching for a Photo of a Gynecologist. Yikes! X-Rated Content!

As I make YouTube videos, I often look for images to place in my films to help the viewer understand things I am talking about. For an upcoming video, I thought I would place a photo of a gynecologist in my video. However, when I did an internet search, it yielded more than I anticipated. 

There were lots of photos with women in stirrups and a doctor examining their underparts. I try to keep my videos at a rating of G, meaning is is safe for EVERYONE to watch. These images did not show anything since the woman’s undercarriage was facing away from the camera, but they presented an idea which was too risqué for me.

I found a photo of a female doctor talking to a female patient. That seemed like a safe picture to show. Perhaps my mind is too old fashioned. I would never have thought showing woman with their legs spread apart would be allowed except on X-rated websites. I need to be more careful in the future on the words I use when searching for images.

Medical Bills: Will they ever stop?

Since becoming severely sick in 2009, I have had the “fun” of dealing with countless medical facilities and their billing departments. Over and over again, claims are not submitted properly. Wrong insurance companies have been billed or my personal information is incorrect. I have spent hours and hours on the phone trying to get medical bills sorted out.

Sometimes the bills are deceptive. A clinic will not inform me they do not take my insurance. Only after the visit will I be told, “We do not accept your insurance. Here is your bill.”

Recently, I received a bill from a medical center. They took my insurance, but they knew the medical appointment was not covered by my insurance policy. They did not feel the need to disclose this information to me. The clinic did not care I could not afford the visit. Moreover, I would not have had the appointment if I knew it was not going to be covered by my insurance. The medical center had an arrogant attitude regarding my bill. They were going to be paid, even if that meant leaving me bankrupt. As the woman in the billing department said, “Pay this bill or we will send it to collections.” The power the world of medicine has on my finances is mind-blowing.

The Biggest Heart-break. Thank you for being a friend!

It is hard to believe my YouTube channel is almost two years old. I have a hard time imaging what my life was like without the community and support I have from my channel. As I make videos from week to week, I try to answer people’s questions and make content which is useful. I have no barometer of my success.

As the months have rolled by, people have contacted me. Their loved one with a tracheostomy tube passed away. I cannot tell you the gut-wrenching heart-ache I feel when I read this news. Tears often stream down my face. I wish there was something I could do for the grieving family.

Today, I received a message from someone about their mother passing away. She came home in December on hospice with a tracheostomy tube. The family member stated how my videos helped as they learned how to care for a tracheostomy tube.

My mind paused reading these words. My videos helped someone. Wow! I could never have imagined that. I could never have dreamed two years ago that I would have the ability to help families as they go through various medical challenges.

For many years, I asked God why did I not die in 2008 when a massive ovarian cyst ruptured sending me into sepsis with organ failure. Why did God let me live through so many nightmares and medical disasters? My questions to God remained unanswered. And here I am, in overtime as I should have died in 2008, and suddenly my life is bringing aid and assistance to countless people around the world. I feel so humbled and unworthy of such a feat. When I thought my whole world ended the day I had to drop out of medical school, instead, it seems I was just in training. I was gathering and gaining knowledge to launch a new chapter of my life.

To all those who have passed away and their families, thank you for allowing me to be your friend. It has meant the world to me.

 

100 Videos! What a Celebration!

In late April 2020, I was bored. My medical appointments were either cancelled or being done via telemedicine. I had not left my home since mid-March. My mom had been watching a lot of YouTube videos. She told me I should have my own channel. I accepted the challenge and filmed my first video.

I had no idea what the channel would become or what the focus of the channel should be. I floundered trying to find may niche. I am not sure I have found where I belong, but my channel continues to grow and receives positive feedback. I must be doing something right.

This week as I was looking at my channel, I paused when I saw it stated I had uploaded 99 videos. WOW! It feels so surreal.

I wish I would have seen this milestone sooner, or planned for it. This week’s video (number 100) is already filmed, edited and ready to be uploaded. I am absolutely exhausted after spending a lot of time filming and editing another video to be released at a future date. I do not have the energy to film a video especially for my 100th video celebration.

Instead, I will quietly enjoy this milestone. Praising God I have had the energy and the ability to upload a video for 100 weeks. God has been so good and so kind to me. May my YouTube videos continue to be a blessing.

Calm Seas. Then Comes the Storm.

My life has been relatively calm. I go from day to day enjoying the smooth sailing. However, I am always a little on edge when my life is easy. I know this is always the calm before the storm. And indeed this was just a break before my life went into chaos mode.

First, my back went out. I thought, “I can get through this.” Then blood clots started developing in my left leg. They traveled to my lungs. They started developing in my arm with my PICC line. I told myself this was just another bump in the road. When the blood clots in my lungs threatened several times to end my life because I could not breathe, I told God I can’t die. I have many more YouTube videos to make. My life continues on.

Next, I am notified I am a potential juror for jury service. I wonder how this will play out. I contact the office to let them know I am disabled. There is no way I will be able to serve eight hours a day. Documentation needs to be submitted, but I have to wait to receive the official disability documents from the court. It then will be a race to try to get a fast doctor’s appointment to have the documents filled out, signed by my physician and returned by the deadline. The court will make a decision if I qualify for dismissal due to being disabled.

Next, an insurance agent deceives me and tries to change my health insurance. I catch on at the end of the call. I scream at the man to leave my insurance alone. I will find out in the next few weeks if my insurance changes or if it remains the same. If it changes, I will owe about $1,200 a day for my IV nutrition and ventilator.

Then, the heat fails on our home. If we turn the heat on, the power goes out. The only way to have electricity is by leaving the heater off. I bundle up, praising God for thermal underwear and a heating pad. I am cold, but it is not terrible.

As my body is overwhelmed with all these issues, my health abruptly fails. I wake up early Sunday morning. I have severe abdominal pain. I start vomiting. I know this is a bowel obstruction. I fight through. The pain is unrelenting. Finally, I go to the emergency department (ED) on Monday. I wonder if I should have stayed home. The ED is packed!

 An hour after arriving, an ED doctor sees me in a side room to do an assessment. He notices my skin is yellow. He says my heart rate and breathing are fast. He says I am sick. I feel relief that perhaps I should be here. Yet, I fight with all my might to not bolt out the door and go home.

The long ED visit continues. I am informed I have an ovarian cyst, jaundice and systemic inflammatory response syndrome (SIRS). My white blood cell count is high. Other markers are abnormal. No one knows for sure what is wrong with me. I am very sick, but there is no clear picture of what is making me so ill.

I am discharged 27 hours after arriving at the ED. I am grateful to be home, but I do not want to deal with my ovarian cyst. Preliminary scans show it is the same type of cyst which nearly killed me in 2008. This cyst will mostly likely have to be removed via surgery. I do not want to undergo any procedures. I will hope and pray the cyst will go away and will not rupture or twist in the meantime. I also will pray this wicked storm of events quickly ends, and I can once again be sailing on smooth seas.

Is that the Lion King? A Fun Telemedicine Appointment

Today I had a telemedicine appointment. My back is extremely sore. So, I was in bed lying down to have the virtual visit. As the appointment progresses, the medical provider stops in mid-sentence. She then moves closer to the screen. She stammers, “Is that, is that Nala?” She continues to look at my bedding in the background. There is a Lion King comforter and two Lion King pillows. The provider then says, ‘The Lion King. I have the EXACT same bedding set at home. I have the comforter, sheets and pillow case.”

I start laughing. I use my Lion King pillows often. They have appeared in many of my YouTube videos. I have had people comment on my choice of background pillows. It has been stated viewing these items takes them back to their childhood.

After the medical provider stares for a few more moments, she apologizes and goes back to the appointment. I can see she is distracted for a while as she continues to look at my Lion King bedding. Soon the appointment ends.

This incident makes me laugh. Most of the time, I am told the bedding makes people think of their childhood, but this woman still has the items at her home. Some people outgrow their childhood while others like to keep reliving it. For me, I still have the items because they are still usable. I am thrifty. Why throw out good bedding? Besides, it has made for some great conversations.

A Telemarketer Reminds Me to Call My Insurance

My insurance company recently changed, and I am still getting adjusted to the new protocols and methods needed to do business with this corporation. Once thing which must be done is to call the health insurance company to have appointments approved. I have to call between two and 30 days before my appointment.

I do not like this procedure. The insurance company does not handle the claims. Instead another company is contracted to do the work. This third party is a challenge to work with. The wait on hold is long. The representatives do not know a lot about how to handle the claims. I cannot tell you how many times things were filed wrong and the claim was denied or not processed correctly (which lead to the claim being denied).

I have an appointment coming up. I knew I had to call to get the appointment approved. I meant to call last week, but I forgot. I would often look at the clock and see it was 5:05 p.m. The company closes at 5 p.m. I would tell myself I would call the next day.

Today, at 3:50 p.m., the phone rings. I see on the caller ID it is my insurance company. I answer the phone. No one is there. I then remember I need to call to document my upcoming appointment. I smile when I see it is only 3:50. I can still call the company.

I pick up the phone and dial the number. To my shock, the phone goes straight through to a representative. This NEVER happens! I usually have to wait on hold. Quickly, the information is uploaded. My appointment is approved. I hang up the phone and cannot believe it went so smoothly.

I thank God over and over again for the telemarketing call. The call came at the perfect time, It was the right time to call my insurance company because there was no wait to get through on the phone. I love how God sends gentle reminders of what we need to do.

Medical Roller Coaster

A number of years ago, I had a pulmonologist I really liked. However, at an appointment four years ago, I noticed there seemed to be a divide in our relationship. It seemed as though a root of bitterness, mistrust or some deep-seated resentment had taken hold of my physician. I decided it was my imagination. I did not get another doctor.

Two years later, out of the blue, all hell broke loose at an appointment. The underlying anger, bitterness and hostility raged to the surface and burst forth into the open air. I was stunned. I was left without a physician just as the virus began shutting down our cities.

It has been hard to recover from this blow. But, I know all things are from God. There was something I needed to learn. I continued on with my life.

Last year, another physician seemed to have odd behavior toward me. I immediately had the feeling I needed to drop this doctor and find someone else to treat me. But where was I to go? Instead, I delayed a follow-up appointment. Maybe in six months, the relationship would be better.

At my next appointment, the doctor was completely off the wall. He was telling me things which completely contradict things known about my medical condition. He kept questioning my medical records. Do I still have an allergy to a particular food? I said I have a severe reaction when I eat the item. I have not eaten it in over a decade. The doctor then put a question mark next to my food allergy stating since I have not eaten the food recently we cannot be sure I am still allergic to it.

More and more things arose during the appointment which were really bizarre. I had the words, “Run! Run far away from this doctor!” float through my head. When the appointment ended, I was nearly in tears. The doctor wanted to end some life saving treatment I am receiving. I was stunned. For the first time in many years my health is relatively stable. But now, the doctor wants me to stop receiving the therapy to see what happens.

In a panic, I call my primary care doctor’s office. I hope and pray I can get an appointment to see my doctor. To my shock, I am able to see my physician the next day. At the appointment, I ask my doctor if he will sign off on my orders to receive my treatment. Without hesitation, he agrees. I want to jump for joy but also collapse in a heap and cry. And just like that, the tides have turned.

As I think back about the recent events, my old pulmonologist floats through my mind. I had warning signs to leave her, but I did not heed the signals. This time, I again saw the writing on the wall. I wanted to make sure the warning was true. I then took immediate action and for the moment, I have been spared going through significant emotional and physical consequences.

It has been quite a roller coaster.

POP! Oh My Back!

 Twenty years ago, I injured my back. I was in excruciating pain. I pushed through it, but the pain would not go away. I went to the doctor and had testing done. I was told everything was normal. However, I could barely walk and spent my free time in bed. I went to endless chiropractor appointments. Nothing seemed to help. Eventually, over the next six years, the pain decreased. However, I have to be extremely careful.

I have a difficult time wearing many bottoms because the waistband lays across my back injury. Anything which cuts across my back causes crippling pain. As much as possible, I wear loose fitting pajama bottoms which I can roll down to a comfortable level.

 

A few weeks ago, I lifted an item which was heavier than I thought it was. “POP!” There went my back. I re-activated my old back injury. It healed over the next few days. Then, I again lifted an item. My back groaned. I pushed the ailment aside. I kept ignoring my back’s cries for help.

Yesterday, my back erupted in a hot fury. I crawled into bed and hoped the pain would go away.

Today, I woke up. Oh my back! The pain was intense. I plugged in a heating pad. As my muscles loosened, I tried stretching my back muscles. It helped. I then moved, and my back exploded in pain. Back on the heating pad I went. I hope the pain goes away soon. When my back acts up, the pain travels up my spine, through my neck and ends at the top of my head. The pain also travels down my legs and ends at my toes. I wish I knew what was wrong with my back, but for the moment I am thankful and grateful for my heating pad. We are in a “hot” relationship!

Trying to Create a Positive Forum

When people think of having a YouTube channel, they think it is all fun and games. Make a video about anything you want, upload and gain fame. As much as I would like to say this is YouTube, it largely is not. A lot of thought and work go into making videos. Moreover, the biggest secret to YouTube is the audience.

When posting a video, you have no control over the people who will view the film. Will they be in a good mood, have a bad temperament or are they just bored? Will they give your video a thumbs up, thumbs down or scroll right by the video? Moreover, will they leave a comment?

For most of the comments left on my YouTube page, I am notified via an email. When I see an email notifying me of a comment, my heart sinks. As much as I like comments, I do not like negative comments. I try to be tough as nails, but harsh words tear me up. I always pray the comment will be a positive one.

I have a general rule. I do not respond to comments until I have given myself several hours to several days to think over the words. I do not want my emotions to get in the way of my response. I try to keep my reply short and to the point. As much as I like free speech, there is a point in which negative comments are deleted. I want my channel to be a forum of information and positive encouragement. When someone says harsh words, it does not build up others; it only tears them down. As far as it is possible, I am trying to do my part to keep the internet positive and to create a community which enables others to be their best self.

You do more good than you remember

I was watching a YouTube video about how to be a better person. The woman said one of our biggest stumbling blocks is not remembering the good things we do for others. If we have one bad experience during our day and yet help three people, the thing our mind focuses on is the negative and not the positive.

As this woman was speaking, a memory suddenly floated through my mind. Many years ago, I was lying in bed. I had recently had to drop out of medical school. I could do little more than lay in my bed with my computer propped up on a medical school textbook. I did endless research on various health afflictions, herbs, vitamins and nutrition. I was trying to figure out how to heal myself. Moreover, one fascination I have had for many years is cancer. I began researching cancer and ways to mitigate the effects of the affliction.

My mom hired a woman to come to our home and clean every few months. One day, the woman told us about her sister who had cancer. She was in extreme pain. Nothing seemed to help. The sister was in absolute agony.

Instantly, I remembered things from medical school and my recent cancer research. Cancer is a hungry critter. Glucose and vitamin C are very similar in structure. When glucose runs out, the cancer will start destroying vitamin C. Cancer patients who are experiencing pain are usually vitamin C deficient. Vitamin C is used in numerous cellular processes. A vitamin C deficiency will cause severe pain. To correct the problem, high doses of vitamin C are needed. It is best given intravenously.

I went online and found a research institute which outline the importance of vitamin C and how to correct a deficiency. I explained to the woman her sister is probably vitamin C deficient. Vitamin C infusions will most likely decrease the sister’s pain. I gave the woman a printed copy of the research. The woman left. Shortly thereafter, the woman got a different job. She stopped cleaning for us.

Several years later, I was at a local establishment. There was our old cleaning person. As soon as the woman saw me, she raced over to me and hugged me. She thanked me over and over again for the information about vitamin C. Her sister was started on vitamin C and her pain dramatically lessened. The sister died six months later, but the woman said she was incredibly grateful for the information I gave her. Although her sister died, she did not died in agony. For that she was very thankful for.

As the woman was telling me all this, I did not remember having any conversation about vitamin C. If this woman was thanking me, I must have helped her…but my memory was blank.

Over the next several hours, I kept trying to remember. I then vaguely remembered the day so many years before. As I kept trying to remember, the details began coming into focus. I then started recalling the details to mind.

If I would have never seen the cleaning woman again or if she would not have thanked me, I would probably never have remembered giving the woman information about vitamin C. I would have never known the research helped lessen her sister’s pain. There are many bad things I remember, but this one good deed has all but slipped my mind. I had forgotten about it again until this woman on YouTube said we often forget the good. We do more good deeds than what we remember.