Medical Roller Coaster

A number of years ago, I had a pulmonologist I really liked. However, at an appointment four years ago, I noticed there seemed to be a divide in our relationship. It seemed as though a root of bitterness, mistrust or some deep-seated resentment had taken hold of my physician. I decided it was my imagination. I did not get another doctor.

Two years later, out of the blue, all hell broke loose at an appointment. The underlying anger, bitterness and hostility raged to the surface and burst forth into the open air. I was stunned. I was left without a physician just as the virus began shutting down our cities.

It has been hard to recover from this blow. But, I know all things are from God. There was something I needed to learn. I continued on with my life.

Last year, another physician seemed to have odd behavior toward me. I immediately had the feeling I needed to drop this doctor and find someone else to treat me. But where was I to go? Instead, I delayed a follow-up appointment. Maybe in six months, the relationship would be better.

At my next appointment, the doctor was completely off the wall. He was telling me things which completely contradict things known about my medical condition. He kept questioning my medical records. Do I still have an allergy to a particular food? I said I have a severe reaction when I eat the item. I have not eaten it in over a decade. The doctor then put a question mark next to my food allergy stating since I have not eaten the food recently we cannot be sure I am still allergic to it.

More and more things arose during the appointment which were really bizarre. I had the words, “Run! Run far away from this doctor!” float through my head. When the appointment ended, I was nearly in tears. The doctor wanted to end some life saving treatment I am receiving. I was stunned. For the first time in many years my health is relatively stable. But now, the doctor wants me to stop receiving the therapy to see what happens.

In a panic, I call my primary care doctor’s office. I hope and pray I can get an appointment to see my doctor. To my shock, I am able to see my physician the next day. At the appointment, I ask my doctor if he will sign off on my orders to receive my treatment. Without hesitation, he agrees. I want to jump for joy but also collapse in a heap and cry. And just like that, the tides have turned.

As I think back about the recent events, my old pulmonologist floats through my mind. I had warning signs to leave her, but I did not heed the signals. This time, I again saw the writing on the wall. I wanted to make sure the warning was true. I then took immediate action and for the moment, I have been spared going through significant emotional and physical consequences.

It has been quite a roller coaster.