Don’t do this; don’t do that.

It is mid morning as I sit in my hospital bed. I am reading and studying the Bible when a respiratory therapist enters my room. It is the usual hospital protocol. Every one to three hours, a respiratory therapist checks in on me and records the numbers on my ventilator. Shift change occurred a few hours ago. This is my first encounter with this respiratory therapist.

As soon as the medical professional enters my room, he begins his lecture. “Be careful inflating and deflating your tracheostomy cuff. It is very fragile and can break easily. Don’t inflate and deflate your cuff so often. You are going to break the cuff. Then you will be in big trouble if the cuff breaks. What are you going to do if your cuff breaks? Don’t tug on your cuff cord. You are going to break it; it breaks very easily. Don’t deflate your cuff. The numbers on your ventilator drop very low indicating the ventilator is not giving you much breath support.” And his list of “don’t do this”, “don’t do that” continues on for the entire ten minutes he is in my room.

I am not in a fantastic mood. Anytime I am in the hospital, I am very irritable from sleep deprivation. Due to constant interruptions during the night, sleep is fleeting whilst hospitalized. I really want to set this respiratory therapist straight on many of his erroneous teachings. However, I keep my mouth shut. I do inform the therapist that if I keep my cuff inflated, I cannot speak. It is very hard to communicate when one cannot speak. Upon hearing this, the therapist seems to recognize this is true. I cannot answer his questions or give him guidance on operating my ventilator if I cannot speak. He then replies, “Well, keep your cuff closed as much as possible and only when absolutely necessary open it to speak.”

I am very grateful when the respiratory therapist leaves. My blood is boiling from this encounter. I pray to God to help me deal with this therapist. I thank God that despite my fleshy desire to go off on a tyrannical rant about my tracheostomy tube knowledge (as I have had a trach tube for over a year and deal with it every single day of my life!), I somehow refrained my lips from speaking prideful boasts. I prayed to God on how to handle this person. “Oh LORD, I just don’t think I can handle another encounter with this man.”

The therapist returned to my room two more times during his shift. Thankfully, on each return visit, there was a nurse or another hospital staff member in my room. The therapist, seeing I was busy interacting with someone else, simply slipped in and out of my room, saying only a few words. I was thankful and praising God when shift changed occurred. “Oh thank You LORD. The therapist is gone for the day!” I sent up prayer that the respiratory therapist would be educated on tracheostomy tubes and would refrain from needlessly chastening his patients.

The next morning, my heart broke and tears nearly burst forth from my eyes when the previous day’s respiratory therapist entered my room. “Oh, LORD! I cannot endure another needless scolding from this man. I do not think I have the strength to keep my lips sealed.” Oddly, when the therapist entered my room, he was kind and nice words flowed from his mouth. It was as if he was a completely different person. He did not scold me when I deflated my cuff to speak to him. He did not raise his voice during our interaction. I was dumbfounded and was left speechless.

When the therapist left, I thanked God for this man’s kindness and pleasant disposition. I thank God for allowing me to keep my mouth shut the day before. I thanked God for allowing me to see that it is better to keep one’s lips closed...”even a fool when he keeps his peace is counted wise, and he that shuts his mouth shut is esteemed a man of understanding” (Proverbs 17:28). I could have easily been a fool, but thankfully, God helped me keep quiet (and thus He helped me keep hidden my foolishness).