Fighting to the end

As I begin my university studies, one of my first classes is an ethics class. In general, my ethics (being Bible-based) do not correlate with the rest of the world. However, since this class is required for graduation, I bear down and give the course my best effort.

A portion of the class includes meeting weekly in small groups with 8-10 other students. We discuss a topic related to that week’s lecture material. One of the most memorable questions posed in the class was this: If you are at the end of life, do you keep trying medical treatments and procedures, or do you live out the rest of your days without medical intervention? When I hear this question, I nearly start laughing. I think, “Are you serious!? There is only ONE answer. Of course you would continue pursuing medical intervention until the last possible moment. Why would anyone just give up!?”

As soon as the floor is open for discussion, I voice my opinions. “Medicine is constantly changing, constantly evolving. Every day, every week, every month there are new medical advances and new treatment options. Even if a medicine only allows you to live an extra six months, in six months there might be a procedure available to prolong your life another 1-2 years. If you give up, you give up the opportunity to continue comforting and loving your family.” I think there would be no rebuttal to my monologue. However, I am very wrong.

Almost as soon as I close my mouth, a male classmate responds, “I absolutely would not go through any medical invention if I was at the end of life. I would use every moment to be with my family. Why waste time and energy trying to prolong the inevitable? Enjoy the time you have left.” I am left dumbfounded by his response. I cannot believe that anyone would just “give up”. The discussion continues for another 30 minutes with no one changing their stance on the issue.

This experience happened many years ago. I had long forgotten about it. This spring, as I was in the midst of trying to get medical attention for my respiratory infections and pancreatitis attacks, God suddenly placed this memory in my head. I instantly realized although my health had greatly changed, my stance on seeking medical intervention and fighting to live every day has not changed. As I reflected back in the last year, I realized I had a choice in May 2017 to not get a tracheostomy and to not use invasive ventilation to breathe. I was at the end of my life. If I would have given up and declined medical intervention, I would have been dead a long time ago. But, this is not who I am. God gave me a fighting spirit, a spirit which will not give up hope, a spirit which will not take “no” as an answer. I have always fought and will continue to fight to make it through each day. There is so much work to do for God. When God decides to call me Home, that is the day when I shall go. In the meantime, I will use His strength and His guidance to continue to keep on keeping on, serving Him in all that I do.