When I want to quit, God gives a blessing

I lie in bed exhausted. My pancreas is raging out of control. I ate a small amount of soup for breakfast and BAM! Excruciating pain! I took a precious pain pill. The pill has taken effect (as noted by the side effects I feel), but the pain remains.

I want to curl up and not move. I want to quit life. I do not want to work on things which need to be done—I have YouTube scripts which need to be written. I have been thinking all morning maybe I should stop creating YouTube videos. I am getting too old and have too little energy to dedicate to the projects. Yes, quitting…that sounds like a good idea.

As I meditate on not filming another video, I see I have a notification on my YouTube channel. I am curious what the notification means. Do I have a message? Did someone subscribe to my channel? I decide not to click on the bell icon to find out.

I click open my emails. I see an email from YouTube stating I have a message on one of my videos. I now know what the notification on my channel page is. I have an unread message. I click open the email from YouTube. To my shock, it is a long message. The person states from my YouTube videos she felt confident to get a tracheostomy. She had the procedure two days ago and has a few questions.

Tears spring up in my eyes. My YouTube channel helped someone. My words/actions inspired someone. I take a moment to thank God for this blessing. As severe as the pain is in my abdomen, I suddenly realize it is not a reason to quit making YouTube videos.

I lie in bed for some energy to return to my body. I think about how I will respond to the message. I then tell myself perhaps I will continue for a few more weeks making videos. Perhaps one more person may find my channel useful.