Pancreatitis: The unrelenting food fight

Since 2009, it has been almost a daily fight between my will to eat and my pancreas’ anger towards food. There are times when food causes few symptoms. While other days, weeks or months are non-stop battles of constant pain, nausea, diarrhea and pancreas spasming.

As the years have passed, my diet consists of less and less. I have had issues with eating fat since I was a child. So, most fatty foods have been avoided for many years of my life. Next on the chopping block were grains—wheat, rye, barley, rice, corn, etc. Then I eliminated sugar.  Soon I started eating only organic food. Then I began eating only food I prepared myself. No food from restaurants, and no packaged food from the store. Next I went to a vegetarian diet, eating fruits, vegetables and only a little bit of dairy. I kept cutting out more and more foods to try to ward off pancreatitis attacks.

Since November, my diet has reduced down even more. I am eating mostly cooked vegetables, a small amount of fruit and sometimes I drink a little bit of milk. Although my body desperately needs protein, I avoid it like the plague. When my heart races, my head spins, and feel as though I am going to die from fatigue, I know my protein levels are too low. I slowly sip a few ounces of milk, take pancreatic enzymes and hope my pancreas doesn’t spasm into a bad pain attack.

I wait and wait for a solution to my pancreas to be figured out, but for the moment, I am told by my GI doctor this is just chronic pancreatitis. I know what chronic pancreatitis is, but I feel as though this is getting out of hand. My weight keeps dropping, my pancreas hurts all the time, and moving the wrong way or riding in the car causes my pancreas to rage out of control. As I endure each pain attack, I feel as though the pain is worse than the previous attack. I shake uncontrollably from the pain, I fight to breathe and sometimes I start screaming unintentionally. I fight through the long hours of unrelenting pain and horrific spasming of my pancreas. When the attack ends, I wonder how long it will be until my next attack. Sometimes it is three days and sometimes it is 14 days. I dread the thought of having to endure another one of these attacks.

I keep waiting and waiting for relief to come…but for the moment, every day it is s struggle between eating and enduring endless pain.