You complain a lot

When I first became severely ill, I felt as though I was on a mission to tell people all about my medical woes. After every medical appointment, I always had a big story to tell of the joys or frustrations of the visit. A few years after becoming sick, I was in the midst of one of my epic medical adventure stories, when my dad looked at me and said, "You complain a lot." This comment enraged me! "How dare he say such a thing! Does he not know of all my struggles?!" I brooded on this comment for some time.

As the weeks went by, I started noticing I did complain a lot. I had never noticed how many complaints cascaded out of my mouth. Whenever something did not go my way, I made sure everyone around me knew it. I did not like the way my tongue behaved; I started diligently analyzing the words I spoke before they came out of my mouth. I also tried to be grateful for everything. In the Bible it states, "give thanks in all circustances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18). At first, it was very hard to be grateful and even harder not to complain. Soon I found myself rejoicing in the smallest things and started praising God in everything. "Praise be to God! I dropped my apple, but it landed in my lap! Hallelujah it did not fall on to the floor!" 

Some days it is really hard to be grateful. I am consumed with pain and fatigue; everything looks bleak. During these times, I try to list things which make me happy--sunsets, baby birds, smiley faces, air conditioning, indoor plumbering, etc. I also remind myself that I should cast all my anxiety on God because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). It is of great comfort to cry out to God in these times. As I pray, the heavy burden of my heart is lifted. My symptoms may continue, but it is a blessing to not be ladened with all my worries.