Tuesday, January 18, 2022

You do more good than you remember

I was watching a YouTube video about how to be a better person. The woman said one of our biggest stumbling blocks is not remembering the good things we do for others. If we have one bad experience during our day and yet help three people, the thing our mind focuses on is the negative and not the positive.

As this woman was speaking, a memory suddenly floated through my mind. Many years ago, I was lying in bed. I had recently had to drop out of medical school. I could do little more than lay in my bed with my computer propped up on a medical school textbook. I did endless research on various health afflictions, herbs, vitamins and nutrition. I was trying to figure out how to heal myself. Moreover, one fascination I have had for many years is cancer. I began researching cancer and ways to mitigate the effects of the affliction.

My mom hired a woman to come to our home and clean every few months. One day, the woman told us about her sister who had cancer. She was in extreme pain. Nothing seemed to help. The sister was in absolute agony.

Instantly, I remembered things from medical school and my recent cancer research. Cancer is a hungry critter. Glucose and vitamin C are very similar in structure. When glucose runs out, the cancer will start destroying vitamin C. Cancer patients who are experiencing pain are usually vitamin C deficient. Vitamin C is used in numerous cellular processes. A vitamin C deficiency will cause severe pain. To correct the problem, high doses of vitamin C are needed. It is best given intravenously.

I went online and found a research institute which outline the importance of vitamin C and how to correct a deficiency. I explained to the woman her sister is probably vitamin C deficient. Vitamin C infusions will most likely decrease the sister’s pain. I gave the woman a printed copy of the research. The woman left. Shortly thereafter, the woman got a different job. She stopped cleaning for us.

Several years later, I was at a local establishment. There was our old cleaning person. As soon as the woman saw me, she raced over to me and hugged me. She thanked me over and over again for the information about vitamin C. Her sister was started on vitamin C and her pain dramatically lessened. The sister died six months later, but the woman said she was incredibly grateful for the information I gave her. Although her sister died, she did not died in agony. For that she was very thankful for.

As the woman was telling me all this, I did not remember having any conversation about vitamin C. If this woman was thanking me, I must have helped her…but my memory was blank.

Over the next several hours, I kept trying to remember. I then vaguely remembered the day so many years before. As I kept trying to remember, the details began coming into focus. I then started recalling the details to mind.

If I would have never seen the cleaning woman again or if she would not have thanked me, I would probably never have remembered giving the woman information about vitamin C. I would have never known the research helped lessen her sister’s pain. There are many bad things I remember, but this one good deed has all but slipped my mind. I had forgotten about it again until this woman on YouTube said we often forget the good. We do more good deeds than what we remember.

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Tired Out, Trying Not to Cry

This week has been a week I wish to never repeat. My body is riddled with exhaustion. So many things have gone awry. People have gotten mad at me. I tried to disscern why the ill will was being directed toward me, but I failed to figure it out. I found out I will probably never seen a very dear friend again. Additionally, friends who were coming to visit me have now decided not to.

My YouTube video was flagged and had an audience restriction of only age 18 and older. I was forced to re-edit my video trying to replace real life photos with cartoon photos. (YouTube did not like me showing granulation tissue—a common complication with having a tracheostomy tube.) I think my YouTube thumbnail was ok, but I went back and created a different thumbnail to make sure my account was not flagged again for being too graphic.

My IV nutrition called TPN was not delivered. It seems to be missing. All this took a tremendous toll on my energy levels.




Throughout these events, God has been abundantly kind. I received unexpected praise for doing ordinary actions. Kind words were posted on my YouTube channel, Facebook page and email. I struggled to respond to all the messages.

I hope next week there will be less stress and drama. I hope next week I will have more energy to appreciate God’s goodness.


Tuesday, January 4, 2022

2021 in Review

I made it through another year. I rejoice that I will live to see another year. What a blessing since I always consider Dec 10, 2008 the day I should have died. I was extremely sick with sepsis. My body was shutting down. But God allowed me to live. Each day week and year is nothing but a miracle and precious gift. Here are the highlights for 2021.


1. I was extremely sick from malnutrition. I could not eat due to severe chronic pancreatitis. When my body was quickly deteriorating, I was started on IV nutrition called TPN. My body was able to pull out of this tailspin.

2. I became sick with sepsis. My IV line I use for TPN became infected. My heart was failing and my immune system was shutting down. Thankfully, God once again intervened. Antibiotics and other therapies allowed my body to recover.

3. I met an ice road trucker!!! So exciting! I love truckers and appreciate their hard work to keep North America running.


4. Blood clots: I cannot tell you how many blood clots I have had. They have developed in my IV line arm, legs, lungs and brain. Once again, I am very thankful to have made it through these hurdles.


5. 1,500 subscribers on YouTube! Thank you to everyone who has supported me on my YouTube channels. I am over-abundantly blessed by your love and kindness.


6. My TPN nurse. After many years of struggling through symptoms, an incredible nurse who manages my TPN has made some diagnoses which have helped get me medical treatment and has improved some of my symptoms. I am so grateful for my nurse!


7. Generator! After losing power for many days last February, my dad bought a generator. Soon, the electrical will be re-done to allow the generator to hook into our house’s electrical system. Then if the power goes out, I still will be able to power my medical equipment.


8. Local Farmers: I am grateful local farmers continue to farm and produce delicious organic food. This has sustained me through food shortages at the grocery store.


9. Birds: I love creatures which fly through the air. I smile and thank God when birds and other winged creatures visit our backyard. I gaze endlessly as I analyze their behaviors. There is often never a dull moment when birds come for a visit!


10. Mr. Toad: There is a toad who makes his home a planter in front of our house. The toad will greet me when I look at the plants. He will also scare me when he decides to jump out when the planter gets watered. He makes me smile and laugh.

May 2022 be your best year yet!

Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Stepping back, Going Forward, Trying to Adjust to My Health

Every day I go about my life often believing there is nothing wrong with my heath or that any medical compliant is only temporary. It is often hard for me to accept any change in my well-being. I do not want to give in or give up to my illnesses.

My memory seems to forget how old I am. I imagine I am in my 20’s still full of life and endless possibilities. When I look in the mirror, my eyes pause. When did I get so old? My eyes do not align; my left eyelid droops and is lower than my right; the right side of my face is relaxed while the left side of my face has involuntary muscle tightness. I wonder when my face started showing signs of my disease.

More and more frequently, I am having pain and fullness in my ears. My hearing waxes and wanes. I tell myself this is just a minor symptom which will be going away soon. I hope and pray this does not stay.

I struggle to get through the day. I used to have more energy in the evenings, but now by 6 p.m. I am fighting to stay awake. I tell myself it is from the sun setting early. In the spring, things will be better.


I am trying to adjust to my health, but as with anything new, it is hard. How do I make the most of my time and energy? How do I continue to live without allowing my medical conditions to rule my life? Each day, it is as if I try to move forward, but instead I take a step back. Things I love to do are getting harder and harder to do.

After so many years of struggling with chronic medical challenges, people may think I should be a master of my health by now. Unfortunately, nothing ever stays the same—for better, for worse.

I am making changes to my life in 2022. I hope it is for the best. It is hard to accept my health is declining. Instead, I am believing these changes will improve my well-being. May 2022 be your best year yet! Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Did I sin?

Today I went to a medical center to have lab work done. After leaving the lab, I was looking for the bathroom. I saw a woman and a small child walking toward me. I turned and started moving in front of the two. When I saw the sign for the bathroom, I rushed down the corridor toward the restroom.

Upon opening the bathroom door, I was shocked the bathroom only had one toilet in a small room. I felt bad. What if the woman and child needed to use the bathroom? They would have to wait if I was using the bathroom. I pushed the thought aside. There were many medical offices in this building. They were most likely going to a doctor’s office for an appointment.

During this time, my body was shaking. My heart was racing. I was very agitated. My blood sugar was low and was plummeting fast. I needed to get out to the car as soon as possible or I would crash into a bad hypoglycemia episode. I needed to hook up my IV nutrition called TPN to infuse sugar into my bloodstream. This would raise my blood sugar. Time was of the essence.

I locked the door and did my business as fast as possible. When I exited, the woman and the small child were waiting. I felt really bad. I guess they also needed to use the bathroom. Did I sin? Should I have waited for the pair and asked if they needed to use the bathroom and allowed them to go first?


 

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

31 tomatoes…An Unexpected Blessing!

Over the weekend, my mom attended a farmer’s market. She called me as she went from vendor to vendor asking what produce items I wanted. When she came to one stall, she asked me if I wanted tomatoes. I said, “Yes, three or four tomatoes would be great.” My mom replied she did not have a lot of money with her. I then said, “That is fine. Get me one or two tomatoes.” The phone conversation ended.

When my mom arrived home, she gave me many surprise items such as fresh green beans, lettuce, salad mix and of course tomatoes. When I was emptying one shopping bag, there were three bags of tomatoes. I then sorted through another shopping bag which had another bag of tomatoes. I was confused. I thought, “Why did my mom get so many tomatoes?” I then asked my mom this question.


She told me that is what I had asked for. I had wanted 3-4 bags of tomatoes. I laughed. I said, “No. I wanted 3-4 TOMATOES not BAGS of tomatoes!” As I took the tomatoes out of the plastic bags, I counted. There were 31 tomatoes! I laughed. Oh my! What am I going to do with so many tomatoes.

I have a recipe for jambalaya. It uses fresh tomatoes. Since getting fresh tomatoes is often hard, I make the entree sparingly. Well, it seems now I have fresh tomatoes. So jambalaya here I come!

When the dish was finished cooking, I eagerly used a ladle to scoop out some stew and placed it into a bowl. I then enjoyed the delicious contents. OH MY!!! This was so good! I had forgotten how sumptuous this food was. And just like that. My 31 tomatoes were turning into an incredible blessing. I have about 25 more tomatoes left. My mind is dreaming of all the delicious food these tomatoes will make.

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Ice Road Trucker: I met a SUPER Star!

Recently, as I was getting ready for Bible study, I was notified three people who regularly attend could not come. I was really bummed. On any given night, there are between two and seven people. With three people not coming (plus one person who is out of town for a few weeks), we were down to three people attending the study.

When I arrived at study, it was just me and another person. I waited and waited. At 6:30, there was still just the two of us. I was really bummed. Bible study works best if there are at least three people. Perhaps tonight just wasn’t my night.

At 6:34, there appear to be two cars which pull into the parking lot. There are other activities going on. I assure myself, the cars are for the other events. Shorty thereafter, a gentleman walks into the building. I ask him if he is looking for Bible study. He says he is. I tell him I am with the Bible study. He then informs me he will be right back. He needs to tell his wife they have found Bible study. A few moments later, the man and his wife into the building. On their heels is the other person who regularly attends. She apologizes for being late.

I am beaming with excitement. We now have five people! This is going to be a great study. Before beginning our session, the couple divulges information. They are from Canada. They are in the process of closing on a home. They need to be back to Canada before the end of the year. The man works as an ice road trucker.


Upon hearing the man is an ice road trucker, I nearly leap out of my skin. AN ICE ROAD TRUCKER!!! That is one of my FAVORITE occupations! I learned about it watching shows on the Discovery channel many years ago. The man tells us a little bit about his job. I am glued to my seat. I am so excited. I really want to take a photo with the man, but I think that will be too weird. I am just over the moon to meet someone who works an amazing and vital job. Truck drivers are under-appreciated in our society, but they are the ones who keep countries open and operating.

For the rest of the night, I am praising God over and over again for sending these people to the Bible study. It was definitely a highlight for my week and probably my year. I feel like I just met a SUPER STAR!