And I am done for the year!

Today, I uploaded my last video for the year 2023. It is my 156th video for the year. It is crazy that I have created so many videos. They have spanned from hospitals and medical appointments to South America! I challenged myself this year by trying to use a mobile phone to film a video. (I still have been unsuccessful at officially creating a "Shorts" formatted video.) I am on microphone number 3 after my first microphone died and the second microphone was poor quality.

I have no idea how many comments, messages and emails I have responded to, but it has been a lot.

I wish I could say I am actually done with YouTube for the year, but I am not. I have two videos I need to edit and about 15 thumbnails I need to create. Plus, I still have a video which is only half filmed. Then next week starts the process all over again of needing to create three videos for the week.

I hope everyone has a safe and blessed New Year. May the year 2024 be your best year yet! Happy New Year!

 

That moment of relief when you find out you are not to blame!

 This morning, a man rang our doorbell. I was shocked to see someone (besides the usually postal delivery person) standing at the door. It was 8 a.m. The man explained we seemed to have a leak in the backyard. Our backyard was flooded.

I quickly thanked the man, closed the front door and ran out the back door. My mind was racing. What did I do now? I always seem to mess something up. Now, what was I going to be in trouble for? 

I rounded the corner of our house when I saw it. And yes! Our backyard was indeed flooded. Water was gushing out of a pipe! As fast as lightning, I shut off the water. Quickly, water stopped flowing through the pipe, and the crisis ceased. I examined the area and realized there was a faulty part which broke, and exposed a one inch hole in the pipe.

I was happy and relieved I had not done anything wrong. Rust was to blame for this fiasco. I am bummed we lost so much water, which will significantly increase our water bill, but I am doing a happy dance a very kind man told me about the leak. Without him, I am not sure how long water would have continued to flood the yard. Praise be to God for this wonderful man who showed me today what loving your neighbor as yourself looks like.

 

I can’t believe it! They paid!

A few weeks ago, I had a doctor’s appointment. It was a long distance trip and required me to contact my insurance company for approval. I did everything according to protocol. I got a confirmation code. I thought I was set to go.

The day before my appointment, I was called and told my insurance was not going to reimburse for the visit. I was devastated. I explained I had done EVERYTHING I was supposed to have done AND had a confirmation code. I talked to a supervisor. I was told to call back in the morning.

Before my appointment, I called my insurance company. I again was told they were not going to reimburse for the visit. I went around and around with the company. I was told to call back in an hour when a case manager would be available.

I called back in an hour. I talked to another representative. She told me she could approve the trip. She gave me a confirmation number.

I went to my appointment.

At the end of October, a statement was sent out. It showed all the appointments which were approved. There were visits from September and October. My long distance appointment was absent from the list. I was heart-broken as I saw the date the invoice was sent out was a week after my doctor’s visit. I figured the trip must have been denied.

Today, in the mail, there was an envelope from my insurance company. Inside there was a notice the long distance appointment was approved and was going to be reimbursed. I hugged the letter and profusely thanked God.

After all the trouble I went through, in the end, the doctor’s visit is going to be paid. I cannot tell you how happy I am!

Thanksgiving. Just another day to try to get caught up

I see social media posts of people preparing for Thanksgiving. Homes are being cleaned and food is accumulating in the fridge and pantry waiting for tomorrow’s big showcase. For me, I am not able to eat most Thanksgiving food. In fact, the fridge is rather bare. I need groceries. But that task will have to wait.

In the meantime, I have a mountain of YouTube things which need to be done. My computer desktop is almost full to the brim with incomplete projects—scripts which need to be written, films which need editing, videos which need thumbnails, etc. My goal is to get my computer desktop cleaned off. I am not sure that will happen yet this week as things keep interrupting my schedule such as naps and much needed breaks.

To everyone who will be enjoying a day of feasting with family and friends, may it be a day full of gratitude and thanks. If you need me, I will either be sleeping or frantically trying to get a YouTube project done.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Two Stickers for You!

Last week, there was an election in our area. I love voting because it makes me feel important. I usually early vote. However, since this was not a major election, the early voting locations were limited. The place where I usually vote was not included in the early voting. The closest early voting location was about 15 minutes away. I decided to just wait until voting day to cast my ballot because then the voting place right down the road from me would be open.

Where I vote, there is an option to stay in the car and call a number. A poll worker will come to the car, take your identification and go inside to register you. The person then looks up your information and selects the correct ballot. The person comes back out to the car and waits for the person to fill out the ballot. The polling person then goes inside to cast the ballot. The process takes about 15 minutes when no one else is voting. If there are people voting, you have to wait because there are not enough poll workers to man both the inside and curbside voting.

Since it was 5:30 in the evening when I went to vote, and the polling location was busy with voters, I decided to vote inside.

When I arrived inside, the poll workers were surprised to see me because I usually stay in the car to voter. The process went smoothly. There were two people in front of me in line, but soon I had my ballot and was able to vote.

When I placed my ballot into the ballot box, one poll worker was very upset I came inside. He said, “We are here to serve you. Please let us serve you. You can stay in the car. We will take the ballot out to you”

He asked if he could help me to the car. I declined the help as he was needed inside. As I was leaving, there was a table of stickers.

I asked, “Can I get a sticker?”

The man said, “You can have two stickers!”

I was very excited and happily took the two stickers the man placed in my hand.

Ah, the sweet reward for coming inside to vote. Two stickers!

Facebook Censored: Social Media Debacle

On Sunday, I attempted to post a YouTube video on my Facebook page. I was alerted Facebook deemed the video as containing false information. They gave me three sources which disputed my video.

Two articles appeared to be about the ongoing conflict with the largest land mass country in the world and its neighbor. One other source was an article about things happening in a tiny country on the eastern shores of the Mediterranean Sea.

I cannot tell you the names of the places because everything is run through artificial intelligence, and I do not want to have any more of my social media accounts censored.

(Let me pause here and tell you the video labeled as containing false information is completely an opinion video. It is on the topic of 15 things I wish I would have been told after getting a tracheostomy tube. There should be no “false information” in this video. Furthermore, I have absolutely ZERO references to anything discussed in the “source” articles.)

People complained to me they could not see my video because Facebook was blocking them from using the link to access the YouTube video.

So, I created another post explaining that Facebook said my video had false information. I was able to give the link in a different format, and people were able to watch the video.

I thought I would let people know on my different platforms about the absurdity Facebook was placing on my YouTube video. Well, that went unexpectedly poorly!!! People unsubscribed from my channel and unfollowed me on social media because if Facebook says my video contains false information, then it must be true!!!

I am a little bit shocked by this social media debacle. But I guess I have learned my lesson. Be careful telling people you have been censored.

Student loans. The fight which never ends

Many years ago, I decided to continue my education and attend graduate school. I needed student loans to pay for this education. While going to school, I became very sick. I had to drop out. Soon, my student loans were in repayment. After depleting my savings to make loan payments, I discovered there was an income-based repayment program.

 It has been a frequent fight to get my student loans on an income-based repayment plan. I cannot tell you how much stress I have been through trying to get paperwork sorted out and submitted on time over many years.

Thankfully, things have finally been stream-lined. I only have to submit one application a year (instead of three separate applications at three different times during the year to go to three different lenders). I just have to keep track of one application and make sure the application is sent to all three lenders. I then have to wait to hear back from the three lenders if they received the application in their system. I then have to follow up that the correct repayment plan has been applied to my account.

Things became haywire when the government stepped in and paused payments. I needed to re-certify my loans, but the financial institutes would not accept the income-based repayment application because the loans were not in repayment. Despite this, I continued to apply for an income-based repayment program.

In October, loan repayment resumed. Two of my lenders applied my income-based repayment plan. One lender, however, did not. The amount I owe per month is nearly my entire monthly income.

I spent almost an hour on hold this morning. I explained to the woman I am on an income-based repayment plan. The woman said she saw in the system I was on an income-based repayment plan. The amount owed was the amount which was calculated from the income-based repayment plan. I explained, the amount owed is nearly my entire monthly income. This is not an income-base repayment.

Furthermore, I have loans at two other lenders. I am on the same repayment program. Because my income is very low, my repayment is zero dollars. The woman said she would investigate. While waiting on a hold, the call disconnected.

I called back again. This time, the wait was over an hour. The second representative said my payment plan was based on 2021 taxes. My taxable income was $0 in 2021. The woman looked at my income-based repayment application from this year which had my taxes from 2022. Again, my taxable income was $0. The woman told me I needed to have my income recalculated.

(I remained silent. but I wanted to say, “Recalculated? My taxable income went form $0 to $0. There is nothing to ‘recalculate’ My income has not changed. And if my repayment is based on 2021 taxes, how can a person owe anything when his taxable income is zero dollars?”)

The woman submitted a “recalculated” income-based repayment request. The preliminary feedback was that I would owe $0. However, the application has to be processed by the company. It will take “hopefully” less than 2 months to process. In the meantime, my loans will be placed on a 2 month administrative forbearance. This means, for the next two months, my repayments will be paused. If my loan repayments are not recalculated by December 24, I will once again be issued a bill and will have to make a massive payment.

The repayment will be due on January 14, 2024. Ironically, the next time I can re-certify my income-based repayment plan is on January 14, 2024.

 

Oh the headaches of having student loans!

YouTube Lesson: Don’t Correct People

When I first started YouTube, if someone said something which was inaccurate, I would correct the person. Sometimes my words were taken well, while at other times the person blew up in a hot rage.

Recently, two people within minutes of each, said things which they believed to be true.

For one comment, I mentioned someone had recently told me some information about a medical device. The YouTuber commented, “Oh that was me!”

I know the YouTuber did not give me the information because the person who shared the information with me was a physician. The YouTuber was not the person who gave me the information…but using my YouTube wisdom, I did not comment on it and moved on.

Another person scolded me for not seeking medical attention during a certain situation. I could tell the person does not have my health challenges and does not know that getting medical attention is futile. I have the necessary medicine at home. If I went to the doctor, while waiting to be seen, I would have to take my emergency medicines or risk dying. After taking the medicine, there would be no use getting medical attention as the emergency would be over. And thus, there would be no reason to get medical intervention to begin with.

Instead of correcting the person, I said, “Thanks,” and moved on.

As much as I really want to correct the people, I found I have to bite my lip and forget about the interaction.

An Important Anniversary I Almost Forgot

A few days ago, I received a comment on YouTube reminding me about the date I dropped out of medical school. The person said she would be praying for me.

I appreciated the prayers, but I was rather bummed. I had completely forgotten about the anniversary. Now that I was reminded of it, that is the only thing which I have been able to think about.

When today came, I try to keep myself busy. The skies were cloudy, and I was informed it was going to rain. And soon, it did start raining. We are in a drought, and the rain greatly needed. I could not believe we were getting a real rain shower, and not just a few seconds of raindrops, which has been the usual amount of rain we have gotten since May.

As I looked at the rain which continued to fall for many hours, I smiled. It was as if God was taking all the millions of tears I have shed about dropping out of medical school and turned them into raindrops to water the earth.

I watched the birds play in the rain. It seemed they also enjoyed this rare water display from the heavens.

For many years, this day has been a day of sorrow and grief, but of late, I have decided to my sorrow into joy. I rejoice to see the rain, and I laugh as I watch the birds frolic in the water puddles. My life did not turn out the way I wanted, but I am glad I am still here to enjoy it.

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing. You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with joy, to the end that my glory may sing praise to You, and not be silent, O LORD, My God, I will give thanks unto You forever.” (Psalm 30:11-12)

Drown Out Negativity with Kindness

Last week, someone called me on the telephone and said some very unkind things to me. I was absolutely devastated. Moreover, I was confused why anyone would call me just to tell me harsh words.

The conversation crushed me. For the next five days, I was very upset. I tried to push the negativity out, but the less than ideal words haunted my mind. I prayed. I read Scripture. But nothing could heal such a broken heart.

Yesterday, the pharmacist at my infusion company called me. She notified me she was leaving the pharmacy. I was stunned. The pharmacist has been an absolute sweetheart. She has solved so many issues for me. She has been an advocate on my side. I could not believe she was leaving.

After the phone call, I decided I needed to thank the pharmacist. I wanted to write her a note, but I knew she may not receive the card before her departure from the company. Instead, I wrote her an email. I expressed my gratitude for her kindness and told her what a joy it was to work with her.

To my shock, she responded with a heartfelt thank you. She gave me her personal cell phone number and told me to keep in touch.

I was blown away by this act of kindness. And suddenly, the hurtful words said last week melted away.

If you want to drown out negativity, be kind and the world will show you kindness.

 

9/11 Baby Christina-Taylor Green. A Life Bookended by Tragedy

Twenty-two years ago, tragedy struck the USA when the Twin Towers were struck by airplanes, and ultimately, the buildings collapsed. Far across the nation, in the state of Arizona, the Green family welcomed their newest addition into their lives: Christina-Taylor Green. In a day shrouded in grief, Christina was a ray of hope during such a dark time.

Christina grew up, loving softball. She was a very gifted athlete. She also had an affinity for politics. She saw her birthday of September 11, 2001, as a blessing. She wanted to inspire the nation.

On January 8, 2011, Christina and her neighbor attended a town hall event at a Safeway grocery store in Tucson, Arizona. Unfortunately, chaos soon erupted as a gunman shot 19 people. Six of those individuals did not survive. Nine year old Christina-Taylor Green was among the dead.

 

As we marked the anniversary of the fall of the Twin Towers, I cannot help but think of Christina. She would have turned 22 years old. What would her life have looked like? Would she have attended college? Would she have become a softball all-star?

We will never know.

May Christina-Taylor Green’s memory be a blessing.

Stolen in 30 Seconds

Recently, my dad drove to a large metropolitan area to have medical tests and appointments. I decided to not go with him as I am not feeling well.

My dad parked his car in the hotel parking lot. He last saw the vehicle at 10:30 p.m. At 7:30 a.m. the next morning, the rear of the car was damaged and the tail lights were gone. We were devastated.

My dad went to his appointments. That night, he was able to file a police report. There is a hotel surveillance video which most likely shows the crime, but the hotel was not cooperative. They refused to release the film. The police also asked for the security footage. I am not sure if they were able to obtain it from hotel management.

Today, my dad took the vehicle in to the dealership to get an estimate of the repairs. It is just under $5,000. I was flabbergasted!

I went online and researched the topic of stealing tail lights. It seems this is a new trend which is becoming very popular. The tail lights can be stolen in less than 30 seconds. It takes a few more seconds to damage the rear of the car to gain access to the tail lights. In all, it takes less than one minute for the crime to be committed.

This is the third time our vehicle has been the victim of crime in just nine months. In November, someone smashed into the front of our car in a parking lot and drove away. There was security footage, but the business refused to release the video. There was $6,000 worth of damage.

In January, the vehicle was broken into and ransacked just minutes after my parents exited the vehicle to go 20 feet away inside a business. (Thankfully there was nothing inside the car except napkins, maps and vehicle registration information.) Ten minutes later, my parents discovered the crime scene. There was security footage, but unfortunately, a tree blocked the license plate of the thief. The entire incident was recorded on film.

About $12,000 worth of damage has been done to our vehicle, and no suspects have ever been apprehended in any of the crimes.

Back to School: Locker Nightmares

 Today, a friend of mine posted a photo of her son standing at his locker entering in his locker combination. Instantly, the photos jolted me back to my locker challenges while in high school.

We were assigned lockers our freshman year and given the combination. I CONSTANTLY had issues trying to find my locker. It was on the second floor. The teacher’s rooms and lockers were on the perimeter of the hallway which made a square. There were stairwells and an elevator in the center of the square.

Whenever I ascended the stairs, I could never remember if I had to go to the right or to the left to get to my locker. Inevitably, I would choose the wrong direction. I would often have to make nearly an entire lap around the square before I arrived at my locker. Although exercise is important, this was not a welcomed activity when I was trying to hurry between classes.

Once I arrived at my locker, there was the constant panic of remembering my locker combination. I frequently forgot the combination. Even though I might enter the combination 5 times a day, it was always a struggle to remember the numbers. On Friday, I would be fairly proficient at the combination. But by the time Monday came, I would have forgotten the combination over the weekend. I would struggle for five to ten minutes trying to remember the numbers. Eventually, I could usually get the locker open.

More panic came when we had one week off for Christmas. I would arrive back at my locker after a week off from school, and I would stare in bewilderment at my locker. What was the combination!?

And things were even worse after being away for a few months for summer vacation. I would look at my locker on the first day of school as if it was a foreign object. I would nearly cry trying to remember the combination.

When I could not remember the locker combination, I would push aside my pride and head to the office. I would sheepishly ask the secretary if she could look up my locker combination. It was not bad my freshman and sophomore years, but the shame I felt my junior and senior years was off the charts. I had had my locker for three and four years, respectively. And I could not remember the combination!!!

During my senior year, when I could not recall the locker combination, I could remember the approximate hand movements I needed to make to turn the combination lock on my locker. If I closed my eyes and just let my hand turn the lock from memory, numbers which were close to the combination were entered, and I often could pry the locker open upon entering the final number.

When graduating from high school, most people were happy for many reason, but for me, I was perhaps the only person excited that I would never have to use a locker again!

Bittersweet: Uploading my Final Cruise Video

For the last 12 weeks, I have been sharing with the world my adventures of going on a cruise. There were many, MANY unexpected twists and turns. I am so thankful and grateful I was able to go on this once in a lifetime adventure.

Editing these cruise videos as A LOT of work! I filmed on four different devices and had major issues with audio on one of the devices, which meant, for one video, I had to re-record all the audio.

Despite all these challenges, it has been a blessing to re-live these incredible days, week after week. It has reminded me of everything I was able to see and do. This week is the last video, and I am rather sad. Perhaps, in the future, I can go on another grand adventure, but for the moment I need to focus on my health.

To everyone who joined on this amazing journey, thank you. I appreciate all your love and support.

Patient advocate: A new role to fill

After spending over the last decade as being the patient, last week I was introduced into a new role: being the advocate for my dad’s medical care. It was odd going to a medical appointment, and the decisions being made did not involve my health. Although I have been the patient many times, I was unprepared for this new role.

 

During the appointment, I did not take notes. I regretted this as soon as we left the office as I was overwhelmed with things which needed to be done—including racing off to go to my own medical appointment. When trying to sort through what needed to be done next, I was foggy on the details.

After the appointment, I was placed on my dad’s chart as someone who could talk with the medical staff. In short order, I soon started corresponding with the physician and her office. It was very odd having this new role of authority. Shockingly, the medical staff took my concerns and questions seriously. I was not just a girl on life support—I was an advocate for my father.

Since the appointment, I have done some research to ensure the care my father is receiving is the proper course to follow. I am confident in the my father's medical care, but I always want to double check the tests which are being ordered are the correct ones.

I am slightly bewildered in this new role. I am not managing my own health. When I make a decision about my medical affairs, I am the one who will have to live with whatever decision is made. However, with my dad, he is the one who will have to live with whatever decision we agree upon. I have to keep reminding myself, we cast the lot, but God determines the outcome (Proverbs 16:33). As much of a novice as I am at being a patient advocate, I have to trust God is leading the way.

7 years of blogging. Thank you Milly for the inspiration!

In the summer of 2016, I learned that a very dear friend of mine had passed away. She had Mitochondrial Disease and died from respiratory failure. She never got a tracheostomy tube. Instead, she fought to her death using a BiPAP machine, which in the end was not strong enough to sustain her. She needed a tracheostomy tube.

I do not know many of the last details of my sweet friend’s death. I do not know if my friend, Milly, was advised she needed a tracheostomy tube, or if her medical team thought a BiPAP machine was all she needed.

In short, I was deeply grieved to lose such a dear friend.

On August 1, 2016, I decided I wanted to start a chronicle of my adventures in honor of Milly. Milly had a YouTube channel. I wanted to continue her legacy. The account was not supposed to be of any importance—just my daily life with Mitochondrial Disease. I was ambivalent if I wanted to be like my friend, Milly, and have a YouTube channel, or if I should just do a blog. In the end, I decided to do a blog. I did not have a camera, which was the ultimate tipping point of deciding against doing YouTube videos.

A few weeks later, my breathing did a dramatic nosedive. I was thrust into the world of medicine, begging doctors for help. I could not breathe. My blog soon became a source of solace when my world seemed to be crashing down. But together, we pulled through many harrowing situations.

Eventually, in April 2020, I did launch a YouTube channel. I had been given an old computer which had a built-in camera. The focus of my YouTube channel was educating people about
tracheostomy tubes and ventilators. I always think about my friend, Milly. If she would have found my YouTube channel, would a video of mine have helped saved her life? I will never know.

Instead, I try to honor my dear friend in all my videos and blog posts. May her memory be a blessing.

(For anyone interested, I just joined Instagram. My username is lifewithavent if you wish to follow me.)

STOP! That's electricity! It can KILL you!

 Today I had big plans of finishing a YouTube project. I have spent many weeks writing, filming, editing and re-recording audio and video. The end was in sight. Today, I was going to be finally done!

Well, that was my plan. This is how my day turned out.

This morning, the lawn service came to clip our grass. There was an electrical cord on the backyard patio. The nearest grass was about 30 feet (10 meters) away. I thought there was no reason to move the cord. It was far away from our yard.

After the lawn was cut, a man came with a weed whacker. He trimmed the edge of the yard. He then came onto the back patio. He was using the weed whacker to trim some small weeds which were growing in between the patio cracks. He then walked up to the electrical cord and weed whacked the electrical cord.

I ran out of the house and screamed at the top of my lungs to the man, "STOP! That's electricity! It can KILL YOU!!!" (I had to scream as loud as I could because there was also a man using a leaf blower right near the weed whacker guy. In order for me to be heard, I had to make more noise than both the weed whacker and the leaf blower.)

Praise be to God, both men heard me and turned off their noisy machines. The man with the weed whacker looked at me in confusion as if he could not comprehend that using a weed whacker on an electrical cord will damage the electrical cord and cause it to short out. Both men walked away and left the property.

The whole incident left me very sick. The panic of seeing the man weed whacking the power cord in addition to frantically running outside and using all my muscle strength to scream as hard as I could left me in a very poor health state.

My grand plans of finishing my YouTube project were shattered.

Since I was shaking from fatigue, I hooked up my IV nutrition called TPN. The TPN ran for a few milliliters and then started beeping. It said there was air in the line. I tried clearing the line, but the pump kept beeping. I discarded the bag of TPN. I then set up another bag of TPN. This time, the pump worked for about 20 minutes before it started beeping. It stated the pump door was open. I checked. The door was closed, but I opened the pump and reset it nonetheless. I turned back on the pump and again it stated the pump door was open. I did this routine a few times with no avail. I finally decided the pump was on the fritz.

Thankfully, I have a second TPN pump. I undid my TPN tubing from the pump and hooked it into the second pump. I turned on the second pump, and for the moment, it seems to be working.

When I thought all hope was lost for the day, I looked outside and saw a mommy and daddy with their tiny baby birds. I was so excited! I have been waiting and waiting for them to have kids, and today, God allowed me to see this beautiful miracle.

The stress of the day instantly melted away as I was overwhelmed with delight to see these beautiful baby birds!

 Maybe all hope of completing my YouTube project may not be lost. There are still hours left for today. Perhaps, God may be gracious to me and allow for everything to quickly fall into place.

Getting Blood Drawn…and abruptly feeling ill

Yesterday, I traveled to the city to have a medical appointment. While I was there, I had my blood work drawn for my IV nutrition called TPN. Usually, I have two vials of blood taken. But yesterday, the nutritionist wanted additional lab work done. I believe it was around 10 vials of blood. 

It was a very hot day yesterday. I made sure I drank lots of water to stay hydrated due to the heat and also from losing blood from the lab draw. I thought I was doing ok.

Last night, I went online to return a few messages. As I was typing to one person, I abruptly felt as though I was going to pass out and throw up. I knew this was my body’s signal that I needed to lie completely flat. If I did not adhere to my body’s warning, I would be forced to lie flat when I passed out. I heeded my body’s urgent pleas. I immediately laid down and within seconds it was lights out.

I slept for 8 hours.

When I woke up this morning, my body was dragging from fatigue. I am trying to be productive, but leaving my bed seems to be a task which is too labor intensive. It seems today is a day to spend in bed. I am grateful I only have to have extensive blood work done about once every 6 months. In six months it will be the middle of winter, and I will not have to worry about enduring the heat in addition to haing blood work done.

An Epic Laundry Saga!

In May, wash was placed into the washing machine. Everything appeared to be in working order. An hour later, the machine only had completed three minutes of the wash cycle and seemed to be stuck. After much finagling, the washer officially bit the dust.

My parents ordered a new washing machine. Two weeks later, it arrived.

For two days, my mom was frantically getting caught up on wash. When she was done, I had some wash which needed to be done. After the wash cycle, the laundry was placed into the dryer. Three minutes later, the dryer was chiming my clothes were done. The clothes inside the dryer were still wet. Although different cycles were selected, the dryer would not work.

My parents ordered a new dryer. Two weeks later, it arrived.

On day 7 of having the dryer, my mom did some wash. She went into another room. When I came into the kitchen to get breakfast, I heard what sounded like an awful screeching racket coming from the laundry room. I immediately arrived in the laundry room. The dryer was making an awful racket. I turned the machine off. The noise stopped. I turned it back on, the clamor returned.

It seems there was something wrong with the dryer. The store where we purchased the machine was contacted. A new dryer was ordered.

Two more weeks passed.

Yesterday was the big day the dryer was supposed to arrive. Before it was delivered, we received a phone call. The delivery man said the dryer had a dent in it. Did we still want it? My dad asked for a photo to be texted to his cell phone. When the photos arrived, I burst into hysterical laughter. The “dent” was catastrophic damage to the back of the dryer. It looked as though the dryer fell off the delivery truck. We declined the dryer.

And now we wait for another dryer…maybe some day, some day soon, we will be able to wash and dry clothes.

Yippee! I Won! Happy Independence Day!

Today is garbage day. There has been much discussion today on the topic of our trash being picked up. People have been stating their views why the garbage will not be picked up. “It is a holiday.” It is Independence Day.” “No one is working today.”

I, however, was one of the few who believed the trash would be collected. We put out our trash can just in case the garbage man came today.

At 4:30, I saw the garbage truck zip through our neighbor. I shouted, “Yippee! I won!” My mom did not know what I was talking about. I explained I saw the garbage truck. It was coming to pick up the trash.

A few minutes later, our garbage was collected. My dad was shocked. “They picked up our trash!? I didn’t think they worked on holidays.”

And with that, I won the game.

I am sorry the trash man has to work today, but I am grateful for his service. He helps keep our city clean.

Happy Birthday America!

When I don’t conserve my energy, I have a MAJOR health crash

Last night, I had the opportunity to attend a get-together right down the street from my home. Normally, I avoid outings, as they really tire me out. But, I assured myself I could do this.

I did more than what I probably should have. I pushed aside the fatigue which was quickly overwhelming me. I pretended I was “normal”. I feigned being well.

When I got home, my body felt as though it was being electrocuted. I tried to go to sleep, but the pulsating electricity continued to cascade down my body. In the wee morning hours, my body drifted into a restless slumber.

Today, it seems every muscle in my body hurts. It hurts to breathe. Light aggravates my headache. It feels as though my limbs are weighted down with heavy bricks.

I really enjoyed seeing people, some of whom I have not seen in over four years. It was a great night, but I over-did it. It is hard to adhere to strict limits my medical condition has for me. I often forget my body has limited energy. It takes very little to tire me out and make my health crash.

And now I wait...I wait for my energy levels to return back to normal. Thankfully, I have no plans to leave my house for the next week; so my body can take its time recovering from this health crash.

The never-ending game of “catch up”

For man my years, I have felt as though I am constantly in “catch up” mode. There are a mountain of things I want to get done, but they remain undone. I have been trying to make lists and force myself to get things done. This works well until my body says it has had enough.

It is odd to watch people be productive day after day. I wonder how they have so much energy. I try to do things two days in a row, but by day two, my body is throwing an unrelenting fatigue party. It does not matter how hard I push myself, my body refuses to function.

After being sick for so many years, one would think I would be used to having lots to do, but no energy to do it.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day…and maybe tomorrow I will be able to get a few more things done and crossed off my never-ending list.

I am tired and in pain. So many things happening…

A few weeks ago, our washing machine abruptly stopped working. Thankfully, since it was during Memorial Day weekend, we were able to get a good deal on a washing machine. We had to survive two weeks without a washing machine. This would not have been a big deal, but while my laundry was in the washing machine is when the machine broke. A neighbor generously offered to finish doing my laundry. I was able to get the load of laundry done, but I still had other laundry which needed to be washed.

On Saturday, a new washing machine was delivered. I was so thankful and grateful to be able to get the rest of my laundry done.

On Monday, I had a doctor’s appointment. The physician played around with my tracheostomy tube. The pain this caused nearly brought me to tears. For two days, I have been having significant pain around my tracheostomy tube. The pain is finally getting better today.

My pancreas has been crabby. Eating food makes it hurt. I am trying to eat, but I am also trying not to agitate my pancreas. It is such a delicate balance. I am thankful for my IV nutrition called TPN. This helps get me calories and nutrition through my vein. It bypasses my pancreas and does not cause me pain. The TPN provides about half to three quarters of my daily calorie needs.

Yesterday, when a small load of laundry was in the dryer, the dryer abruptly stopped working. My heart sank. The dryer now needs to be replaced. At least we have a washing machine. We will just have to hang up everything around the house to dry.

I found out today, after corresponding for over a month with the company who makes my tracheostomy tubes, they are not going to replace my tracheostomy tubes which have been recalled. Despite providing the tracking number for the package, they claim the package is still in transit. The United States Post Office states the package was delivered on May 20. It seems I have lost both the cost of shipping the tracheostomy tubes and the tracheostomy tubes. This is quite frustrating. Tracheostomy tubes are expensive. They are about $80-100 each.

This comes at an inconvenient time as I only have one tracheostomy tube. I have requested more tracheostomy tubes from my respiratory company, but the tracheostomy tubes are on back order.

I am completely drained of energy today. I was going to lay in bed all day. As I got all settled down, my TPN pump started beeping. It said there is an error on the pump. Please contact my provider. Thankfully, I have a spare TPN pump. I had to get the back-up pump out and program it. I then had to disconnect my TPN from the broken pump and connect it to the new pump. It seems to be working ok. I have to wait until next week to get a new pump because my TPN shipment was already sent out for this week. Thankfully, I have a spare TPN pump I can use.

I am laying in bed and about ready to fall asleep. This all has been so stressful on me. I hope nothing else happens as I just want to rest and nurse my sore tracheostomy and aching pancreas.

Oh the headache. When my cuff fails on my tracheostomy tube

For the last week, I have been fighting with my tracheostomy tube cuff. It has been deflating during the night. When this happens, I do not receive the full support of my ventilator. Inspired air leaks up my airway and out my nose and mouth. A significant amount of the inspired air does not reach my lungs.

Breathing works in the following way: it takes energy to breathe in, and expand the lungs. Exhaling is passive. When the body stops inhaling, the lungs automatically decrease in size, which forces air out of the lungs.

When my lungs do not fully inflate due to a faulty tracheostomy tube cuff, my body cannot properly exhale. Carbon dioxide builds up in my body. Often, I will wake up when my carbon dioxide levels get too high. I then have to re-inflate the cuff on my trach tube, and I again receive the full support of the ventilator.

Last night, however, I was extremely tired. I did not wake up during the night. Instead, I woke up this morning with the cuff on my tracheostomy tube deflated, and I had a MASSIVE headache due to high carbon dioxide levels. It is hard to explain this headache. It penetrates every cell in my body. I am extraordinarily tired. I am extremely short of breath.

Due to a recall on my tracheostomy tubes, I only have two spares in my inventory. I am reluctantly going to use one trach tube tonight. (I have an order in to my medical equipment company for two more tracheosotmy tubes. However, they are on back order. It is unknown when they will arrive at my home.) Tomorrow, I need to remember to contact places which sell my tracheostomy tube and hope and pray I can find my tracheostomy in stock and also find one which has not been recalled.

If you want to know how Jesus felt, start a YouTube channel

 As I go from week to week, I receive communication from all over the world on my YouTube channel. The majority of it is nice. Most people say how a video helped them. Gratitude is expressed. Some of the comments make me cry. Unfortunately, not everyone receives the best medical care, and death occurs.

And then there are those people who like to express dissatisfaction with me for no particular reason. People mud sling words at me. I used to take it personally, but now I know better. I remind myself of scripture. People hated Jesus for no reason. If they hated Him without a cause, people can also hate me for no reason at all.

Then there are a scant minority who tell me I am wrong on a topic. Medicine is broad, and there are many different approaches to doing procedures and treating various medical afflictions. I have no problems with people having different opinions. But usually, the point of contention is on something which is well established.

For example, a woman argued with me that placing a tracheostomy tube in the airway will not affect a person’s ability to speak. If you wish, I can take off my ventilator and attempt to speak. This does not work well as almost all the air will rush out my tracheostomy tube and will not pass through my vocal cords. The words which come out of my mouth are very quiet and hard to hear and understand. To communicate with an audible voice, I have to place my finger over the end of my tracheostomy tube to force air up my airway and through my vocal cords to speak. It takes a lot of practice and the ability to use different muscles to speak with a tracheostomy tube. I tried explaining this to the woman, but she told me it was “misinformation”.

I was dumb-founded by this, but then I remembered Jesus. Jesus tells people the truth, but people refuse to listen. This made me sad. I am sad for those who do not follow Jesus’ teachings, but I am also sad for this woman. Her child is about to get a tracheostomy tube. She is going to be in for a rude awakening when her child struggles to speak after getting a tracheostomy tube.

I hope and pray the woman has the resources to help her child adjust to life with a tracheostomy tube. And just like Jesus, I continue with my head down, trying to help people, but when the mud slinging starts, I have a deeper understanding of what Jesus went through.

Trying to stay calm, but I’m am losing my cool…

Today was a day I thought I would conquer the world. I normally film YouTube today, but it was cloudy outside. I need the sun to be shining otherwise my YouTube videos have poor lighting. Not being able to do YouTube, I thought I would do a few other essential tasks.

First up, I called my insurance company to file a claim. When the woman looked at my account, information I sent in 2 weeks ago was incorrect. I had submitted the wrong documentation. I had to go back and resubmit the correct document. It was not a big deal, but now I am not sure if a claim I made last week will be reimbursed. It is not the end of the world, but it was very frustrating.

Next, I worked on a YouTube video a viewer wanted. The video is a HUGE project. I did not want to do the film because I knew it would take me ages and ages to put together. And true to its anticipation, this video is an energy and time hog. I cannot tell you how many hours I have dedicated to this video. I am exhausted. This reminds me of doing a project for school. It never ends and makes me want to throw my computer at the wall. I am beyond frustrated with this video.

As the clock neared 5 p.m., I realized the pharmacy did not call. I have been trying to get IV antibiotics for a lung infection since last week Monday. It looks like I will have to continue to wait for the medicine.

While taking a break from the video, I called one of my student loan servicers to inquire about the loan forgiveness. Although I received an email from the federal government stating I am eligible for the student loan debt forgiveness, the woman at my loan company said my loans do not qualify. When I mentioned I had received an email, she said there were a lot of scams out there. I did not question her, but why would the federal government send me a scam email? I again was frustrated and ended the call.

My monstrous YouTube video continues to call and beckon me back to the world of frustration. I should go. The sooner I work on the project, the sooner I can be done with it.
 

How my failing voice is helping people worldwide

For about a year, I have been having a lot of issues with my voice. I get frustrated because my voice gives out in my videos. To disguise this, I have learned to place photos and images in my videos. Also, since my voice sometimes becomes weak, I feel my sentences are not always easy to understand. I have started putting the text to my videos on the screen along with photos or images of what I am speaking about.

Someone recently contacted me from Brazil. He thanked me. His English is very basic, but because I place images on the screen and also a lot of text, he is able to figure out what I am talking about.

I have been very frustrated with my voice. Creating videos which have lots and lots of images in them is very tedious and time consuming. I guess I never imaged this hindrance is actually helping people worldwide understand my videos. This is yet another time where God is using all things for good.

500,000 Views! Thank You!

When I log in to my YouTube account, YouTube always displays various statistics for my channel. I rarely look at them because I cannot control how many subscribers I get or how many videos people watch. It is nice to have this information, but for me, I do not pay much attention.

Recently, I happened to see my channel was nearing 500,000 views. I was flabbergasted that many people have watched my videos. I then started looking every day at the number of views my channel had.

When I woke up this morning, I logged in to my YouTube channel. I was thrilled when the counter said I had 500.0K views! I had done it. A half million views! WOW! How very exciting!

 

The next milestone is getting 5,000 subscribers. I am really close to hitting this mark. How amazing!

Thank you to everyone who supports this channel. I am so grateful and thankful for you.

Reflections: 6 Years with a Tracheostomy Tube & Ventilator

Six years ago today, I arrived at a hospital to get a tracheostomy tube and to be started on invasive ventilation. I had no idea what to expect. I could not get an answer from anyone if I was going to be admitted to the hospital after the surgery or if would be sent home. Moreover, there seemed to be general confusion about what procedure I was going to have.

The surgeon knew I needed a tracheostomy tube, but the rest of the hospital staff seemed to be clueless. One person told me they were just going to change out my tracheostomy tube. I said, “I do not have a tracheostomy tube.” The person said, “Oh. Well, then I do not know what we are going to be doing.”

After getting my tracheostomy tube, I woke up as I was being wheeled into the intensive care unit (ICU). I was a little shocked that I was going to staying in the ICU. The ICU was or really sick people. I just got a tracheostomy tube. Why did I need to be in the ICU? I later found out, since I was using invasive ventilation, I had to be in the ICU. This is where the respiratory therapists worked in the hospital. If I was in a regular room and an emergency arose, I would probably be dead by the time a respiratory therapist would be able to get to my room.

Many things went wrong the nine days I was in the hospital. You might think, “Nine days!? Wow, that was a long stay to get a tracheostomy tube!” The reality is, I was supposed to have been released earlier, but the entire staff from my medical equipment company was out of town at a conference. There was only one person in the office. I had to wait until he was able to make the half hour drive to the hospital and give me training on going home with a tracheostomy tube. Since I was not an urgent matter, I was not a high priority.

I almost died twice while hospitalized. One time, a doctor decided I did not need full respiratory support. He switched my ventilator over to the CPAP mode. CPAP blows high pressure into the airways. This is fine for inhalation, but to exhale, a person has to use a lot of energy to breathe out over the high pressure of the machine. Very quickly, my respiratory muscles gave out, and I went into respiratory distress. Praise God, my mom was by my side. She ran into the hallway and screamed for someone to come. The ICU was vacant. No medical staff was in the vicinity. She ran and finally found someone. When I thought I was going to die from sheer exhaustion, the machine was at last switched back over to full respiratory support.

I also had another incident where my tracheostomy tube became clogged with mucus. That incident could have been avoided if my inner cannula would have been changed. No one ever changed my inner cannula during my time in the hospital. When my tracheostomy tube became completely clogged with mucus, it was God who alerted a head nurse to my plight. The nurse intervened when I was on the verge of death, and once again my life was spared.

When the respiratory therapist came from my medical equipment company to show me how to care for my tracheostomy tube, he pulled out my inner cannula. He gasped and asked, “When was the last time this was changed out?” I said, “It has never been changed.” I thought the man was going to faint when I said that. This was the ninth day after getting my tracheostomy tube. He said it should have been changed out at least twice a day. He had never seen an inner cannula so dirty. He had no idea how I was able to breathe through all the mucus. Once again, I know it was God who was keeping me alive.

Since that time, other situations have arisen in which medical negligence and ignorance have almost cost me my life. Thankfully, God always leads me and directs my path. I know one day my life will end, but for the moment, I rejoice God has given me six extra years of life. Happy Anniversary!

 

YouTube Comments. I am always learning something

Since starting YouTube, I always enjoy receiving comments. I used to loathe a negative comment, but as the years have passed, I actually appreciate them.

People tell me all sorts of things. And as far as the negative comments go, they range from attacks on my channel to making fun of how I speak with a tracheostomy tube to general hatred. I usually allow all comments unless it is a vile off-the-wall comment. Attacks against me, I mostly leave up to allow others to see what I have to deal with while being a YouTube vlogger. The one exception is if the original comment elicits one or more replies from other YouTube viewers which are not kind. Slander gets deleted.

 

As for the negative comments, I read them and think about them. If someone took the time to post something, there is usually a grain of truth in his words. I use the comment to try to change my character and become a better person.

Recently, someone said I appear to be passive aggressive. I was unsure what this term meant. I looked up the meaning and laughed. I may be many things, but being passive aggressive is not one of them.

I do not like to be angry or mean-spirited. I try my hardest to give people the benefit of the doubt. If someone does do something against me, I try hard to move on. I like the scripture verse, “Love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). I try to love people and appreciate even the bad things which may have arisen due to the person’s actions or words. I remember the Scripture verse, “God works all things for good” (Romans 8:28).

The one thing I wish I could change about the world is people being mean. I know I cannot change the world, but I can change myself. I try every day to be kind and to rid my character of anything which is not full of love, peace, joy and kindness. However, after reading the comment that I appear passive aggressive, I will work even harder on my character to be a better person.

The hardest part of having a YouTube channel

As much as I love YouTube, and enjoy the people I meet, there is also a part of me which is shattered into a million pieces. People find my YouTube channel, and share their lives with me. I am always grateful to be privy to this information. However, many times, folks tell me of things which did not go right.

I cannot tell you how many times I wish I could have changed things; how many times I wish I could have intervened.

Today, a sweet soul left this comment on my YouTube channel:
 “My father had a stroke at the age of 80. He had a tracheostomy and after a few days hated the prognosis of having his lungs cleaned,. It was uncomfortable. The doctors removed it and he passed away 48 hour later, with morphine. Im shocked and confused.”

I cannot tell you how my heart breaks and tears run down my face. If only this man would have been able to talk to someone who was knowledgeable about tracheostomy tubes. There are many different methods to clearing the lungs. Many times, patients are not offered these alternatives.

I wish I could have changed the outcome of this situation. I cannot imagine the pain it must be to lose a father. Praying for this family. May they find peace and comfort in the days, weeks and months ahead. May the father’s memory be a blessing.

After a short break, back to the stress of life

Recently, I took some time off from YouTube. I was burned out. I did not edit videos or start new YouTube videos. It was nice to just live my life without being under pressure to help people. My Life with a Vent YouTube channel has become a resource for many people to ask questions and request videos about various respiratory topics. I do not mind do this, but the stress it creates can be immense.

People will contact me and say they have to make a MAJOR decision about a medical issue. Can I do a video as soon as possible to help them sort things out? What people do not know is it takes about a MONTH to create a video. It takes time to research the subject, create a script, film, edit and upload the content. I have limited energy and fatigue quickly. Plus, I have a life to live such as going to doctors’ appointments, emergency department visits, having blood work done, etc. By the end of my week, I am crawling through my life, clawing to get through the day.



 

After spending some time off, I have to get back to my YouTube channel. Someone asked me to do a video on a subject I have almost no knowledge on. The person needs the video ASAP as he needs to make a decision if he wants to have the procedure done.



I am humbled people seek me out to help them through their journeys. I often beg God to let me quit this job, but I know, if God has allowed this YouTube channel to turn into what it has become, I should not hinder that. I need to serve others and be grateful I am able to help people. Now it is time to get going and create a new YouTube video.

So much paperwork!!!

Lately, my life has been full of stress and craziness. I had an infection, and had to fight to get antibiotics for it. There were problems with my doctor’s office getting the paperwork, and then the pharmacy had issues too. Finally, that hurdle was cleared.

Next, I have had issues with my insurance. I prefer to not go into the the details, but in general I had to submit 26 pages of documentation to proof my medical issues. When that was done, without warning, I was sent another large packet of paperwork which had to be completed in ONE day.

After frantically getting that done, it was submitted on time. In classic form, I was never contacted about the outcome of the case. Another medical company alluded to it in a correspondence I received. So, unofficially, the paperwork was accepted, and my insurance continues on.

When I thought I had all that resolved, then another issue came up. I had to submit more paperwork. I had to outline medical expenses and submit receipts for medical items and services I need. Thankfully, that was only about a 4-5 hour setback.

When I thought I had all that done, I got a call from my insurance. This was an interrogation call to make sure things I had submitted were accurate. The call ended I think on a good note. There is one more form I have to fill out, and then may be I am done with this craziness for a while.

There is no guarantee when my insurance will throw me another curve ball. I am happy this is all behind me, but I know at any moment, my insurance may again require mountains of paperwork and proof of my medical conditions.

I am so tired. I wish there was an easy way.

Exhaustion: The Leap from Fatigue

For many who suffer from chronic illness, the one symptom most have is fatigue. It is constant tiredness which does not go away. No matter how much sleep a person gets, he can wake up feeling just as tired (or sometimes even more tired) than before falling asleep.

For the last week, I have been struggling to get things done. I push myself to fight through the fatigue. My body revolts. It screams in pain. I concentrate even harder at the task which is before me. Suddenly, exhaustion hits. For me, this is the point in which my body shuts down. It does not matter how urgent or necessary something is, my body refuses to function.

I lay on my bed. My head screams in pain. My muscles throb with pain. My brain is a hot mess. Nothing makes sense. All I want to do is sleep, but I am beyond tired. Sleep is fleeting.

Exhaustion is probably one the most frustrating symptoms for someone who has chronic illness. Many people cannot imagine what it is like to hit this brick wall called exhaustion. It does not matter how much will power or desire a person has to complete a task, once exhaustion arrives, the body refuses to cooperate.

Another Week, Another Death

When having chronic medical conditions, it is always wonderful to find other people who have the same medical challenges. Unfortunately, many of my health issues often lead to complications, many of which are life ending.

I have lost so many friends in the last several years. I try to not make any more friends because I cannot endure the loss of another life.

Someone once told me I was over-exaggerating. Everyone loses friends. Perhaps that is true, but just in the last five weeks, five friends have passed away.

When I heard of the passing of another dear soul this week, my poor heart shattered into a million pieces. This person was extremely nice and kind. She tremendously helped me when I got my tracheostomy tube in May 2017.

I wish death would stop coming. I wish just for a year, I did not lose a loved one. Chronic illness is hard, and it is even harder when I am constantly reminded that death is never far away.

Devastated…Absolutely devastated

My attention to Facebook in the recent months has waned. I have so many things going on. I struggle to keep up with just my social media accounts. I only look at a few Facebook posts a week.



My friend, Ashlee, was one of the people I kept up with. She had severe gastroparesis, that is, delayed stomach emptying. She fought hard through some harrowing battles. She always bravely displayed a smile to let the world know she would make it through another hospital stay.

During her most recent hospitalization, she was admitted because she was having seizures. They did not know why she kept having them. After she had been seizure-free for 24 hours, she was allowed to go home.

Three days later, she suffered a seizure. Unfortunately, she did not pull through it.

I am absolutely devastated. Sometimes, you see things coming, but this was so unexpected. She was given the green light to go home. Her last Facebook post reads, “Made it thru another admission, I'm going home and I better freaking stay there!!!!” It seems Ashlee got her wish. She will never have to endure another hospitalization again.

May her memory be a blessing.

Help! My mom fell, and my ventilator got LOCKED in a room!

The last two days have been extremely chaotic. Monday, I spent the day getting blood work done and waiting for my doctor at an appointment. The doctor never showed up. Thankfully, a nurse did the appointment. I have pneumonia and need IV antibiotics. The medicine was ordered.

Yesterday, I spent the morning on the phone with the infusion pharmacy and doctor’s office. The prescription was not sent to the pharmacy. Then, the prescription was sent to the wrong pharmacy. Now I begin the waiting game. It sometimes takes a week for all the paperwork to be properly submitted by my doctor’s office to the pharmacy so the medicine can be sent to me.



My blood work was resulted yesterday. I do indeed have a bacterial infection. My body is working hard to fight off the flare-up of a chronic bacteria which lives in my lungs. I have been sick for two weeks.

Yesterday afternoon, I had to put all my respiratory equipment away as Terminix was coming. I cannot have Terminix spray any place near my equipment. I have to put everything in a closet and seal the closet.

As I was doing this, my mom fell outside on the concrete. She was very banged up. She needed to make supper and get it in the oven. Thankfully, it was only throwing a few ingredients in a dish and mixing in a few spices. I was scrambling to do this for my mom as I knew Terminix was coming at any moment!

I also did a few medical assessments on my mom. She was concerned about her bloody mouth and the injuries she sustained to her face. I was concerned about her severely injured arm. (At first, she seemed clueless she had even hurt her arm. I was alarmed because I saw it was cut up and badly bruised. I could see it swelling in size right before my eyes.) Additionally, she was in shock. I kept a close eye on her as shock can be very dangerous. I had to make sure she did not have any complications. I filled several plastic zip top bags with ice to help with the pain and swelling in her face, wrist, arm and shoulder.

Before I was done throwing supper into the oven, Terminix arrived. I praise God, my dad had a lot of questions for the man. So it delayed the man about 15-20 minutes, and it gave me precious time to finish throwing supper in the oven, and grabbing clothes, Bible study materials and my ventilator equipment as I dashed out the door.  I quickly did one last assessment on my mom, and seeing she seemed to be stable, I bolted out of the house.

I cannot be in the house when Terminix sprays. We try to arrange these visits when I am in the hospital, at a medical appointment or have Bible study. Last night was Bible study night. I went to the community hall which is just down the street from my home. I went into the community hall. I set-up my heated humidifier and ventilator. I changed my clothes and combed my hair. I rested for a few minutes, allowing myself to calm down as I cooled off. (I was DRENCHED in sweat!)



I then decided I should take my clothes and place them back in the car. Since I had already taken my ventilator and heated humidifier into the community hall and had everything set-up, I decided to leave my respiratory equipment alone. I was just going to be right outside the front door. My medical equipment should be fine. I can breathe for a few minutes on my own.

When I returned from the car, the door to the room in which we have Bible study was LOCKED!!! I was dumb-founded! How can this be!? I knew at once, security must have locked the door. But this was so strange! There was a farmer’s market in the parking. They still needed access to the room and adjacent rooms to put away the tables. Why would anyone lock the door!?



I was absolutely panicked! People from Bible study were arriving. The door was locked. I did not have my ventilator. I frantically searched for security’s phone number. I told one person to go look for security. The man could not be too far away.



THANK GOD the man from security was found a short ways away intermingling with the farmer’s market staff. The man opened the door. He asked, “You have Bible Study tonight?” He also said, “You know, I saw the medical equipment set-up in there. I thought someone might need that.”



I was too flabbergasted and overwhelmed with panic to reply to the man. I hooked up to my ventilator and gulped down precious air as I tried to get rid of all the carbon dioxide which had built up in my body.

Praise be to God, Bible study went wonderfully. It was one of the best studies I have ever attended!

When I came home, I re-evaluated my mom. Her arm was very bruised. It did not appear anything was overtly broken, but I was concerned she could have a hairline fracture. I told her she should go to the emergency department and be evaluated.

My mom went to the emergency department. X-rays revealed no broken bones in her arm. (She still needs to be evaluated for her back, neck, head and shoulder, but that will wait until she can see her regular medical team.) She is very bruised and in a lot of pain, but we were all reminded of what a blessing her relatively minor injuries were. Shortly after arriving at the emergency department, a number of people involved in a BAD car accident came pouring into the hospital. Someone ran a red light and hit about 5 or 6 cars. How very blessed we were we were not involved in that car crash!