Trying to be still, but impatience wins!

Of late, I have felt like a hot potato, being tossed from one doctor to another, with no one actually helping any of my medical conditions. Recently, I have been having severe pancreatitis attacks, which occur almost daily. About once every 1-2 weeks, I have an attack which leaves me screaming in pain and unable to eat or drink for 24-48 hours. In my desperation, I have sought medical intervention in the world of gastroenterology.

After the first GI doctor insisted, despite seven years of medical records indicating I have chronic pancreatitis, I did not have chronic pancreatitis, I sought another GI doctor. The second GI doctor could not deny my previous medical records because he was my doctor six years ago when I needed some of my bile duct sphincters cut. Unfortunately, GI doctor number two seemed very ambivalent about being my doctor. In one breath he said he would be my doctor, but then he also seemed very happy and excited to refer me on to another GI doctor. I felt as though the more he understood my medical history (i.e., Mitochindrial Disease and some of my associated conditions), the more he seemed a bit timid and scared to treat me. GI doctor number two said he would give me a referral to one of his GI colleagues. If I did not hear back from GI doctor number three, I should call doctor number three’s office.

Let the waiting begin...

I told myself, I would not intervene with this referral. I feel like GI doctor number three is the wrong doctor for me as the physician does NOT treat the pancreas. But, I figured if this was the path for me, I would let God make everything happen. I waited and waited, but I never received a phone call. A week passed, nothing happened. I kept praying to God, “If this referral is to happen, let it happen. You know where I need to be. I am not going to force Your hand.”

Today, as I was sitting in bed and being in moderate pain from my pancreas, I started thinking about calling GI doctor number three. But, I did not want to force anything to happen. As I was pondering my decision to call the physician’s office, my mom walks into my room. One of the first things she said was, “Are you going to call for the GI referral and set up an appointment?” Since God seeemed to have laid this in my mom’s heart, I thought perhaps this was God’s will for me to call doctor number three. When my mom left my room, I immediately picked up the phone and called the physician’s office. To my disappointment, the appointment coordinator did not answer. I had to leave a voicemail. I prayed to God, “Well, LORD, if this appointment is supposed to happen, let me receive a phone call back from the doctor’s office.”

Several hours later, the phone rings. It’s the appointment coordinator. “Yes, I looked up your chart. We have not received a referral from your GI doctor. I can set up an appointment, but the doctor you are supposed to see will be out of the office for the next two months. The doctor does have a partner who can see you in about a month.” I agree to see doctor number three’s associate. Since the appointment is at the large medical facility 400 miles from my house, I ask if I can schedule an appointment at the same time I have my pulmonology appointment. “Yes, you are in luck. The doctor has availability at 10 a.m. on that day. In fact, that is her next available appointment.” I happily schedule the appointment.

After the phone call, I thank God for making both the GI and pulmonology appointments sync up. I then start wondering if I had just forced God’s hand. Two hours later I receive a phone call from GI doctor number two’s office. “Yes, I am working on faxing over your referral right now. They should call you shortly and be setting up an appointment. If they do not call you, here is their number.” I do not have the heart to tell the nurse I had just set up the appointment myself. I figured I would let her fax over the referral so GI doctor number three/four had the necessary information. When I hang up the phone, I start laughing. “Well, God, I guess this is confirmation I am supposed to be referred on to this other GI clinic. Please make this all work for good. Please help me get the necessary medical treatment and be free from this pancreatic pain, nausea and vomiting. Thank You for Your abundant blessings. Amen.”