Always the same dream

As my mind drifts deeper and deeper into sleep, it seems I always have the same dream. I am in some large restaurant in which there is a HUGE buffet. There are multiple lines for many different types of food. There are endless varieties of pasta dishes; beef, steak, chicken, various other meat dishes, mashed potatoes and lots of gravy line another wall of the buffet; salad and all the fixings cover another buffet table. A bakery filled with all sorts of breads, cakes, pies and other sweet treats is situated in the middle of the room. As the buffet continues, there is an endless assortment of vegetable dishes followed by lots of different types of fruits. Sprinkled throughout the buffet are drink stations with all sorts of different soft drinks, lemonades and iced teas. It seems the buffet continues for a very long time with a vast assortment of food. The restaurant is packed. It is hard to move any where because there are so many people, and children are running everywhere.

As I gaze upon all the delicious food, my stomach growls. I am so hungry. I find the beginning of the buffet line. I patiently wait at the back of the line. The line moves so slowly. Parents are helping their kids fill their plates with food. The children are indecisive as to what they want on their plate. The adults take what seems like a lifetime to move down the buffet.

As I finally approach the food, people cut in front of me in line. Then, by the time I get to the food I really want to eat, the pans are empty. I am so hungry. I just want to grab a couple items and go back to my table and eat...but it seems I am only able to scrounge up a few morsels of food. Reluctantly, I leave the buffet line and fight my way through the mobs of people to get back to my table. I enjoy a few bites of food, and then I have to leave.

Lately, this dream has played out over and over again in my sleep. I know my body is very hungry. I am trying my best to eat, but after taking a few bites of food, I start feeling quite sick. It does not matter how much food surrounds me, I simply become too ill from eating. It is frustrating. I know my body needs food, but I am not able to overcome the pain and nausea I experience from chronic pancreatitis to properly eat. The dream continues...