I can’t remember...but

When I am in the hospital, there are certain games I like to play, especially in teaching hospitals. In teaching hospitals, there are lots of doctors-in-training. There are first year residents (interns), residents and fellows. Sometimes, there will even be some medical students floating around. Usually the medical students and interns are too nervous to participate in my games. Fellows are usually too educated and know far more medicine than I do. So, the games I often play are with the residents.

What exactly are my games? Well, they usually involve testing the residents’ medical knowledge. I ask them to explain procedures (and ask probing questions as to what they mean if they use a medical term), or I ask them to explain how a drug works (including the various organ systems and chemical pathways used). Although these are just games, I also use them to assess the doctor’s knowledge. If the resident does not pass my test, I will insist they do not do any procedures on me.

Sometimes, though, funny incidences occur. During one hospitalization, I was extremely tired. I had arrived at 3 p.m. the day before for a medical appointment. I had pneumonia which had not cleared after several courses of antibiotics, and the physician sent me to the emergency department. I was admitted to the hospital, but I had to wait until 4 a.m. before a bed was available. Needless to say, I did not get any sleep that night. When two residents showed up in my room to do a brief patient history, they asked me about the drugs I had previously taken for pneumonia. Normally, I am on my game and can rattle off the name of many pharmaceuticals, but this morning, my brain was not in top shape. I started to say, “I can’t remember their names...” Immediately, one resident cut me off and interjected, “But can you at least remember what the drug names might have sounded like.” I continued my train of thought, “But they were third generation cephalosporins.” (This was the class of drug which all my previous antibiotics had been.) Of course, both residents instantly stopped what they were doing and stood in stunned silence with their mouths hanging open. After a few moments, one resident cleared his throat and said, “That’s all we need to know. Knowing your drugs were third generation cephalosporins is more than enough information to help us with your case.” The two residents quickly fled my room. As they left, I could hear them whispering, “How did that patient know her drugs were third generation cephalosporins?” The two residents seemed scared and never came back to my room by themselves; they never asked me any more questions.

It is experiences like this which make staying in the hospital more exciting. It’s always fun to keep doctors-in-training on their toes.