In late January, my relative’s health started declining. I really needed to find someone to help her. I again approached this woman I had met and asked if she wanted to be a caregiver for my relative. I even did something I do not do—I told her she did not have to sign the contract. She could try out the job and work when she wanted to. The woman was thrilled at this idea.
We communicated back and forth discussing what would be expected of her. Out of the blue, the woman told me she did an extensive background check on my relative. She told how she knew everything about her including some of her very personal health information. There was nothing she did not know. I was spooked by this revelation. If the woman wanted to know anything about my relative, I would have told her.
Moreover, the tone of the woman’s voice was a mixture of taunting, boastfulness, and blackmail. The woman reminded me of a stalker. Thankfully, the information the woman obtained was incorrect. I am not sure where the woman got the information from, but fortunately, the information was wrong. When I pointed out to the woman that the information was incorrect, and if she wanted to know something about my relative, she could ask me. The woman back-peddled and said she just wanted to get to know my relative better. She apologized and said she hoped the slip-up would not ruin her job prospect. I again gave her the benefit of the doubt.
In March, the woman said she wanted to set up a time to meet my relative and do some basic training. Due to scheduling conflicts, we were not able to work anything out until May. I was very disappointed with this timeline, but even though I went out of my way to try to accommodate the woman, nothing worked in her schedule until May.
That night, I had terrible nightmare. I do not remember what the night terror was about. All I remember is waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing. I was drenched in sweat, trembling, and in an absolute panic. The first thing which raced through my mind was, “I can NOT hire this woman.” For the next several days, I suffered poor health; my body was ravaged by the nightmare. I decided to keep this woman at a distance to give myself time to make sure I was seeing everything with a proper mindset.
Even though our meet-up was set for May, the woman insisted on communicating with me on a daily basis. I told the woman I was very busy. I did not have time to talk to her every day. Still, the woman contacted me every day. I was severely chastened if I did not respond at least once a day to her multiple messages.
She began sharing things about her life with me. She told me about a former employer. She claimed the owners were very mean to her. When she was told to take out the trash because the trash was full, she was furious and refused to do so. She said some very nasty things about the owners. I tried to give the woman the benefit of the doubt, but it seemed clear from everything happening, the woman may have some behavioral and/or mental health issues.
The woman wrote a wicked message to me, telling me what a rotten person I was. The woman’s words made it abundantly clear she had mental health issues. I began writing the woman a letter to let her know she was not going to be a caregiver to my relative. It took me about a week to craft the letter. In the meantime, the woman sent a follow-up and said she was having a bad day. I should forgive her for her emotional outburst. I decided to forgive her, and I did not send her the termination letter.
Then, my relative became ill, and I had to go to the hospital. I did not have access to my email. Thus, I did not respond to anyone’s emails for over a week. During this time, the woman flew into a hot rage and sent me an email dripping with abusive speech. I decided I was not going to respond to her.
I sought counsel from various people in my life. I read them some of the emails the woman sent me. They all agreed this person has some serious mental health issues. It is best if I separate myself from the person. I told myself I was going to end all communication.
The woman sent me an apologetic email after she learned my relative was in the hospital. She asked me to forgive her for her previous email. Against my better judgment, I decided to send the woman her termination letter (which I had originally drafted about a month earlier). I was very kind in it, stating that my relative’s care was becoming very complex. Special skills and training were needed. The woman was not going to be able to provide the required services. I had decided to search for someone else who would be able to do nursing level care. I apologized for the job not working out.
I thought the letter was very clear. However, the response I received from the woman indicated the opposite. The woman took everything I said and twisted it into abusive language against me. She then asked if she still had the job.
At this point, I decided I had given the woman enough chances. I had given her the benefit of the doubt over and over again, and yet, she continued to show very scary character traits. I did not respond to her last correspondence. I am through with this woman and her abusive language. I am glad God warned me about this woman; I wish I would have heeded His insight many months ago. But as with all things, this too is for the good. I have decided to not hire anyone without thoroughly vetting them first. God saved me and my family from a very awful situation. I cannot imagine the potential harm this woman may have done to my relative.
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