It's Another Year...Has Anything Changed?

I do not make New Year's Resolutions. I prefer to change my life as things come along. If I notice I am speaking too much negativity, I work on speaking more in a positive light. If someone criticizes one of my YouTube videos, I re-think how to present information.

Tonight at Bible Study, we studied the end of chapter two in the Book of Job. We read how Job's friends were silent for seven days as they sat next to Job, who was grieving. This image stunned me. In a world of information overload, I wondered how anyone could sit for an hour in silence, much less seven DAYS in silence. 

I then began reflecting on my life. I recently met a very sweet woman who has a quiet demeanor. It has taken me some trial and error to figure out that the way she communicates is by thinking for several minutes about what she wants to say. She then presents a short monologue on her thoughts and feelings. Interacting with the woman is hard...it is VERY hard. To sit in silence for several minutes eats away at my impulsiveness. But I am trying. I am trying to still the never-ending commentary which seems to constantly overwhelm my brain.

I also reflected on Bible Study. I used to stand very firm in my beliefs. If someone said something I did not agree with, I interjected and gave a short disputation on why the person was wrong. As I have aged, I have noticed people do not like to be corrected. Thus, I try to quell my tongue and keep my thoughts to myself.

The last two weeks at Bible Study, people have said things which I knew were incorrect. One idea was not a big deal. The person did not about a treatment available for a certain medical condition. The other issue, which arose, was being told I said something wrong. I immediately thought of the Scripture I was quoting and pondered if I was remembering the verse correctly. I quietly looked up the verse in my Bible. And there it was, exactly how I had remembered the verse. I could have easily called attention to the Bible verse, which would have vindicated my original words. However, I let the comment go. I allow silence to permeate the air instead of confrontational words.

So often I feel as though I have failed. I try to change things about myself, but I usually see no progress. For ten YEARS I have been working on holding my tongue and letting things go. I have witnessed myself fail over and over again, and if this would have been a New Year's Resolution, I would have abandoned the notion long ago. But here I am, a decade later, and FINALLY I am seeing some positive results.

I need to take this moment and celebrate my small victories. So often I only see my short comings and my mistakes. I frequently only focus on how I could have handle a situation differently. But for the moment, I want to soak in these small wins and rejoice I am making progress.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’”  Isaiah 30:21