After having four hospitalizations in four weeks, I am struggling to keep up with life. I have tasks which are piling up to be done, but I have no motivation or energy to do them.
I lie in bed this morning, fighting through the side effects of taking pain medicine. The previous night, I suffered for about 12 hours with intense pain in my pancreas. Waves of nausea sweep over me. My intestines churn, wanting to throw up. I cautiously take pain and nausea medicine. I chew the pills and swallow them, taking only a tiny sip of water. An hour later I throw up. I pray the medicine was able to make it in my bloodstream before I vomited.
I hug a heating pad and try to distract myself with YouTube videos and listening to the Bible. I am miserable. I pray to God these symptoms pass quickly. After several hours with the pain increasing, I break down and take more pain medicine. This time, the pain medicine makes me very tired. I fall asleep around 6 a.m.
At 8 a.m. I wake up and am thankful I am not in pain. I move and the pain comes back. I feel woozy, have a headache and have this yucky feeling in my body. These symptoms are side effects from taking pain medicine. I stay in bed for the morning, trying to sleep and trying to feel better. I have a lot of things to do today. I need to write two YouTube scripts, begin pre-production for the videos and create thumbnails for the videos. The clock keeps ticking. I have no energy. I have no motivation. I think to myself, “Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.” I carefully eat some soup; the pain in my pancreas increases. I thank God I have IV nutrition which will keep me hydrated. I go back to bed and wait for better health.
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