I like my life to be organized and predictable. I like routines and knowing exactly how each day will unfold. Unfortunately, my life been the exact opposite. There have been endless doctor’s appointments, frantic trips to the emergency department and too many days spent in the hospital. I often get upset that my life has been interrupted.
I look around my surroundings and wonder when so many things have changed. I have a PICC line, ventilator, IV nutrition (TPN), IV antibiotics and a J-tube. I have to time my life around my antibiotic infusions and have to struggle with an IV pole carrying my TPN. As much as I want to be upset by this new living arrangement, I remind myself these items are keeping me alive.
I film a YouTube video and make sure I have a smile on my face. As challenging as this life can be, I do not want negative emotions to infiltrate my videos. I desire for my audience to find courage and to stay strong no matter how uncertain life may be. As frustrated as I often am that my daily life has been thrown into chaos, I use each obstacle to find ways to see the good around me. If I can inspire one person to find courage and carry on, then my uncertainly turns into hope.
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