When no one shows up...Thank You God!

Since coming home from the hospital, I have been struggling to get through each day. My chest is in an incredible amount of pain. My breathing is fast; my heart races. I am frequently nauseous, light-headed and dizzy any time I leave my bed. Headaches plague me all day long. I fight to go about my daily life...but the fatigue threatens to overwhelm me.

When the day arrives for me to host Bible study, I push hard to get everything done. My heart is racing. I am gasping for air. My hands shake from fatigue. I received a message that two of the participants will not be coming. I continue to prepare for the study. I try to eat, but I feel so sick. I eat a tiny amount of food and then abandon the task. I wonder how I am going to survive Bible study. At any moment, I feel as though I am going to collapse from exhaustion.

I have a rule for Bible study: I attend unless I am in the hospital or have an avoidable test, procedure or medical appointment. I always go to Bible study no matter how poorly I feel.

When the start time for Bible study arrives, no one shows up. I wait 15 minutes. No one comes. I praise God for the night off. I crawl into bed and am overwhelmed with gratitude for this time of rest. I nearly start laughing. Despite feeling so unwell, the thought never entered my mind to ask God to cancel Bible study. I sigh and pray to God, "Thank You for watching out for me. Thank You for continuing to lead and guide me. Thank You for the night off. What a tremendous blessing."