PICC line heartbreak

Ever since I have gotten my most recent peripherally inserted central catheter (PICC line), I have had intense pain and discomfort. The PICC line was hard to insert because previous PICC lines have scarred my left arm veins. Although not directly told this, the technical who inserted the PICC line hinted that this would probably be the last PICC line in my left arm. Any future lines would most likely have to be placed in my right arm.

I have been nursing my arm along, trying to do everything to make this PICC line last. I thought everything was going fine until about a week ago. I noticed there seemed to be yellow "gunk" accumulating under my PICC line dressing. I was not immediately alarmed because this does happen. However, I was concerned that the clear plastic patch which covered the PICC line insertion point into my vein was cloudy. I could no longer see a small section of the catheter. The site has always been painful, but now it started burning. My shoulder also started hurting. I ignored the symptoms. Finally, I couldn't sleep the last two nights because as soon as I fell asleep, I woke up feeling as though I was being eaten alive by bugs. My PICC line insertion site burned and itched, and the rest of my body was breaking out in hives. I took Benadryl, but it did not alleviate the symptoms. Eventually, the sedative effects from the Benadryl overwhelmed my body with fatigue, and I fell asleep.

Today, I decided I should probably go to the emergency department (ED) to get my PICC line dressing changed. I also thought I should have my PICC line looked at. While the dressing was still on my arm, the doctor looked at my PICC line. He noted the drainage, but he did not think it was anything to be concerned about. However, he strongly suggested the PICC line be pulled just in case there was an infection. I pleaded with the doctor to leave the PICC line in. I would follow up with my doctor to discuss the next course of action. The ED physician decided he was ok with my plan.

My nurse came into my ED room with a PICC line dressing kit. As he was pulling off my old dressing, the ED doctor walked into the room. As soon as all the tape was off my PICC line, the doctor's face blanched. My PICC line insertion site was very red and was oozing a highly toxic looking yellow pus. The doctor at once said my PICC line was infected. The nurse cultured the pus. He then removed the PICC line and cultured the PICC line as well. The ED doctor told me I needed to be admitted to the hospital for antibiotics and to wait for the PICC line cultures to come back. I begged and begged the physician to let me go home. I have been in the hospital A LOT this spring! I could not endure another moment in another hospital room. I told the doctor if I had to wait for the cultures, couldn't I wait for them at home? Couldn't he send me home on oral antibiotics and when the cultures came back, make a more definitive treatment plan based on the culture results? The doctor said he could, but he did not recommend it. After pleading and pleading with the doctor, he let me go home on oral antibiotics.

As I sit here, writing this, I am devastated. I still have two bacteria in my respiratory tract. Now, I also have an infection at my PICC line insertion site, which might also have spread to the rest of my body. The only way to treat the respiratory tract infection is with IV antibiotics. IV antibiotics require a central line such as a PICC line. Now, I don't have a line. Now, I might have another infection, which may also require IV antibiotics. I am heart-broken. When will these infections stop? When will God let me "just" have Mito? Why must I endure so many hospitalizations, tests and other procedures? I am exhausted. Tears stream down my face. The only thing I can do is pray...pray that some day soon, God will heal me from these infections.