No love lost

Recently, as I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I stumbled upon an obituary of one of my middle school teachers. This perhaps was one of the first times when I saw someone had passed away that I did not feel sorrow. I reminded myself I needed to pray for the man's family as it is hard for anyone to lose a husband or a father. But a broken heart and teary eyes did not come my way.

One might ask why such a cold, callous heart? Well, this teacher was much like all my teachers in elementary and middle school. They scorned, mocked and ridiculed me for striving for excellence. The teachers would find the smallest fault and penalize me either in my grade or verbally. How dare I achieve great things. Who did I think I was accelerating in my classes?

When moments came to honor students for their successes, I was always passed over. It did not matter what I did, I was always told other students deserved the recognition more than I. At the end of the month when a student in each class was named "Student of the Month", my name was never called. Out of all the kids in my class, I was the only one to never be honored as "Student of the Month". Most students received the award at least twice in their tenure; some children received it every year. What did I do wrong? Why did I not deserve any recognition? I could never understand this. I achieved near perfect marks in my classes and traveled the country competing in various competitions. I was always told, "It's not fair that you have traveled to so many places. It is not fair that you have been honored by many organizations." So, I had to endure my punishment by being shunned by my school.

After the Oscars, I read a post about Lady Gaga being hated by her classmates for wanting to be famous and establish a music career. She was scorned and ridiculed for wanting to achieve greatness. Lady Gaga turned this hatred into her motivation for creating an all-inclusive fan base; it has also been the foundation for some of her biggest hits. I could not help but wonder when reading her story if all people who strive for excellence suffer the same shame and mockery by their fellow classmates and teachers. Why must someone's drive for greatness be a source of hatred? Is it jealousy? Are folks trying to level the playing field for others by tearing down one student to build the self-esteem of the rest of the class?

So, as I reflect back on my experiences with my deceased teacher, I find myself not losing any love over his death. I am actually relieved that this man can never cruelly treat another child again.