Running in place

As I wake up every day, I always have the same things I need to do—the most important thing is to get though my daily Bible reading. I try my best to get through the text. I try my best to stay focused and not fall asleep. But, these lung infections take so much energy. And then I get hungry or thristy and have to take a break. Very soon, it seems, it is bedtime and my Bible is still on the same verse it was in the morning.

There are constant distractions during the day. Phones calls, emails, Facebook messages, etc. As hard as I try to accomplish something during the day, nothing much ever gets done. People tell me the multitude of tasks they complete in a day—go to work, go grocery shopping, make meals, etc., etc. I often lament to myself, “Why does the rest of the world seem to have so much time?” I spend so much time sleeping and sluggishly doing tasks. I feel so grateful when I have a few minutes to watch a YouTube video...but then I feel so guilty. I have Bible studies to write, and Bible studies to proof read. If I do anything which is not Bible related, I feel like I am wasting God’s time.

When I get to the end of my day, I feel like nothing has been accomplished. Oh how I wish God would give me just a little bit more energy and a little bit more time during the day in which I could do more things for Him. Oh how I wish I could fall into bed at night and be tired from a long day of completing various tasks. Instead, I often fall asleep exhausted from fighting Mitochondrial Disease and its various complications.