Stand in the rain. Stand your ground. Stand up when it’s all crashing down.

Oh my family and friends. How I wish I could say everything was gum drops and lollipops. How I wish I could say that these last few months of being constantly in and out of the hospital have lead to a grand improvement in my health. But, on the contrary, it seems I am getting sicker and sicker.

I am trying, really trying, to remain patient. I am trying to keep a brave and cheerful face as I endure more and more trials. I attempt to not let bad news such as finding out I have another hospital acquired infection raging in my lungs bring down my spirit. This new infection, pseudomonas, is a difficult bug to treat and kill. Moreover, it seems despite my best efforts at obtaining the proper antibiotics, my energy spent has not yielded any lasting fruit. I was given one dose of the proper antibiotics in the emergency department during one of my hospitalizations. However, upon being admitted to the hospital, all antibiotics were ceased because my symptoms greatly improved. As time has progressed, and the effects of the antibiotics fade into the past, my infection is coming back with a vengeance.

I am confused why it is so hard to get the correct antibiotics. I am perplexed why doctors continually cut off my antibiotics before the infection is ever killed. I often feel as though each antibiotic prescribed is coming out of the physician’s wages, which translates into me being prescribed very weak antibiotics or only a few doses of the correct antibiotic.

It is very frustrating having to fight through the pain, exhaustion and myriad of symptoms associated with these respiratory infrections. But, I keep telling myself, God is in control. He will lead me where I need to go. He is beside me, challenging me to rise above these obstacles. I am to keep my eyes on the heavenly rewards and not let these earthly trials cause me to stumble. Perhaps, one day I shall overcome these infections. Perhaps some day I’ll be able to better cope with these tests. Until then, may I find the strength and courage to “stand in the rain, stand your ground. Stand up when it’s all crashing down. Stand through the pain, you won’t drown. And one day what’s lost will be found. So stand in the rain”...(Song: Stand in the Rain by Superchick)