As the rain beats down on my window, I find myself wiping my own raindrops from my face. After spending so many days in the hospital fighting off infection after infection, I am exhausted. I know all these trials are from God, but I really wish I could have a few days of vacation.
Recently, several people have told me how inspiring my life is. They are encouraged by my tenacity to keep on fighting through each challenge. I know their words are sincere, but I find little comfort in them. I have no choice. How can one stop fighting? How can one stop living?
I keep on going through each day, wishing, hoping and praying that some day I will be infection free. Some day, I will be free from this PICC line in my arm. Some day, I will no longer have to constantly watch the clock to ensure I infuse my IV antibiotics at just the right time.
Just when I think I am on the verge of uncontrollable sobs, God
stretches out His hand. He hears my prayers. He shows great mercy and
loving kindness at just the right moment. He wipes away my tears and
fills me with abundant love. My heart overflows. I feel tears welling up
inside me as gratitude cascades from my soul.
As the rain continues to beat down on the ground outside my window, I allow the steady percussion of the raindrops to whisk me away to dreamland...a place where sunshine and rainbows are never more than a thought away.
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