Fear and foreboding take hold of my soul. I have been sick for many months with respiratory infections, and now finally treatment may be in sight. But, of course, I must undergo another procedure. Tomorrow is just another day, another day to have a bronchoscopy. How many have I had? How many of these procedures have lead to pneumonia? How many have gone badly because the procedure was done without sedation?
I want to be cheerful; I want to be joyful. But the medical memories from these last seven months swirl in my head. Tomorrow I will be at a new hospital with different medical personnel and with a different doctor. As much as I try to remain optimistic, I do not like change. I like knowing the nurses and doctors. I like knowing my surroundings. There is a comfort in the familiar. But, tomorrow, I must be brave and endure new faces and new landscapes. I try to push aside the apprehension and pray this procedure will help get me on the road to a life free from respiratory tract infections.
As my spirit has been heavy within me, God has graciously sent words of comfort and hope into my life. Feeling as though my blog has hit a roadblock (and thinking about not writing anymore posts), a woman I do not know reached out to me on Facebook. I have posted a couple times links to my blog this last year on a Facebook group for people with mitochondrial disease. Although I have not posted in several months to the group, a woman found my blog link as she searched the site after her best friend lost her son on Sunday to mitochondrial disease. The words this woman wrote to me about how my blog has helped her understand Mito and the experiences one must endure when fighting this battle brought tears to my eyes. Her words were sweet nectar to my soul, giving me renewed strength and hope that perhaps there is a reason to continue writing, to continue maintaining this blog. I have always told myself if this blog can help one person, I will keep on writing. Again, when I was almost ready to quite, God gave me a gentle reminder that my work here is not yet finished.
As I prepare to endure this procedure tomorrow, it is humbling to think I have another opportunity to let God's light shine forth. Whatever tomorrow brings, what comfort it is knowing God will be there...and perhaps one more blog post will manifest itself from tomorrow's experiences, and perhaps one more person will find comfort from this blog. Good night and God bless!
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