Whenever I see a physician, I do my best to boil down my symptoms to just the ones which need the most urgent attention. I know my medical case is often complicated, but I try really hard to give only the most relevant details and skip anything which might only cloud the air with unnecessary information. However, as hard I try, sometimes doctors just make everything so complicated.
Recently, while hospitalized, I had my trach tube changed out. Within ten minute of having the trach tube changed, I was violently coughing and gasping for air. No matter what I did, I could not stop coughing. My trachea was becoming inflamed and was becoming more and more painful with each passing minute. I begged doctors and nurses for relief from my symptoms. Benadryl? Sedation? Anything? I was offered lidocaine, but after having been hospitalized about 40 days in the last four months and having lidocaine constantly poured down my trach tube due to coughing spells, my lungs now no longer respond by going numb. Instead, I start coughing violently. So, I am coughing uncontrollably, and the only thing I am offered is a substance which causes painful coughing spells. Oh boy! This is going to be a long night! And indeed it was.
In the morning, I hoped maybe I could get my trach tube changed back to my old one. When the doctor came in, I tried to clearly outline that my new trach was causing significant discomfort...although I am fairly certain my distress was evident based on my breathing being 65 breaths per minute and me hardly being able to talk due to the severity of my shortness of breath. The doctor seemed to dismiss all my concerns. "Your trach tube is NOT the problem. Of course you are breathing fast. You have respiratory failure." The doctor insisted that my ventilator settings needed adjusting. Her solution was to put me on the hospital ventilator and do arterial blood gases. I tried to calmly explain that hospital ventilators seem to over-react to my breathing, causing me to develop a fast heart rate, and fast breathing rate. Moreover, the hospital ventilator does not allow me to breathe out completely, which leads to hyperinflation of my lungs. In short, using the hospital vent makes me very miserable and very sick. The doctor dismissed all my concerns and said this was the only plan she had for me.
After thinking about the situation, I decided I was done. It was time to go home before any more suffering/harm could be inflicted upon me. Thankfully, the doctor agreed to discharge me home. When my nurse found out about my discharge, she was shocked. "You are struggling to breathe! You can barely talk! You cannot go home in such a state!" In my sympathy for the nurse, I briefly explained that all I needed was my trach tube changed back to my old one. The nurse stopped my discharge and tracked down my doctor. The nurse then explained everything again to the doctor. However, the doctor again insisted the issue was not my trach tube. Only after ruling out everything else, would the doctor possibly consider changing my trach tube.
When the nurse came back to my room, she begged me to stay in the hospital. I told her I was very tired and did not have the energy to endure needless testing. I was going home. Reluctantly, the nurse proceeded with my discharge. I was thankful to be going home, but I was also scared. My breathing was very ragged. I was not sure I could endure the eight hours it took to get home. Thankfully, through much prayer, God gave me the strength and energy to make the journey. Once home, I was able to sterilize my old trach tube and put it back in. Once the old trach tube was back in place, my extremely fast breathing slowed down, and the constant coughing attacks ceased. (Praise be to God!)
Although I could easily be frustrated and upset by this hospitalization, I look to God's Word for comfort; I look to God's Word for direction. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19). Yes, indeed. This is a lesson we can all take to heart. Shalom!
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