Since I was a child, this time of year always filled me with great sorrow. People all around me were always filled with great excitement, but I often wondered how folks could be excited that Jesus, our Lord and Savior, was crucified almost two thousand years ago. Did they not love Jesus? Did they not care that He innocently died the most painful death known to man? How could folks find so much joy in Jesus' death?
As a child, I would run away and hide whenever I saw a cross with Jesus hanging on it. The image made me terribly sad. As a teenager, my church youth group attended a stations of the cross event, a play which consisted of 14 stations which depicted the events leading up to and including the death of Jesus. I deeply wanted to be able to attend this event as so many people at my church talked enthusiastically about the play. After about three or four stations, I bolted from the event. I escaped to my car and sobbed uncontrollably. How could anyone want to witness the tragic events which killed my Lord and Savior?
As an adult, I have continued to try to embrace this time of year. I have faithfully attended many Lenten, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services. Almost every service, I firmly gripped the pew in front of me and force myself to stay through the time of worship...but oh how my heart aches during these services, and my eyes well up with tears!
As I read through the Bible, whenever I come to the events leading up to and including Jesus' crucifixion, I read over these verses as quickly as possible; yet, tears often stream down my face. Although these parts of Scripture are tremendously sorrowful, I endure reading these parts of Scripture for the tremendous joy and comfort which comes three days after Jesus' death, on the morning of the Feast of First Fruits. "But Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping; and so, as she wept, she stooped and looked into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and one at the feet, where the body of Jesus had been lying. And they said to her, 'Woman, why are you weeping?' She said to them, 'Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.' And when she said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, 'Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?' Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him, 'Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him and I will take Him away.' Jesus said to her, 'Mary!' She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, 'Rabboni!' (which mean, Teacher). Jesus said to her, 'Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, "I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God"'" (John 20:11-17).
So, as painful as it is for me to endure another year, another Passover commemorating the death of Jesus the Messiah, it is of great joy to know that He lives! Jesus conquered death. He died on the cross to allow all those who choose to believe in Him to escape eternal punishment and enjoy everlasting life. Jesus endured the most horrendous, painful death to give you and me life! What an incredible gift! So as much as my heart sorrows for Jesus' death, I must take comfort in knowing His death gives me eternal life. "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting" (Psalm 136:1).
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