A Forced Break to Deal with Unexpected Obstacles

For the last few months, I have been running on fumes. Every week, I plead with myself to get through another seven days. I beg for rest, but it never comes.

Late last week, I received a large packet in the mail. I have to re-certify my eligibility to receive my insurance. The process is long and tedious. It takes hours and HOURS to fill out the paperwork.

One part requires me to record my medical history for the last 12 months. I have little recollection of what happened yesterday, much less remembering all my medical appointments, tests, procedures, etc. for the past year. As I was scrolling through my hospital online chart, I paused to reflect back on my emergency department visits. I saw it has been a year since I was last plagued with severe blood clots. I did have some minor blood clots in June, but it was nothing which caused too much trouble.

That morning, when I woke up, I noticed my arm with my IV line (PICC line) was hurting. I shrugged it off. My arm hurts from time to time. I may have slept on my arm wrong. The following day, the pain was worse. On the third day, the pain in my arm radiated to my armpit and down to my wrist. I knew what this was—a large blood clot or multiple blood clots. I had to chuckle. Of course my blood clots are back at the exact time I am trying to get medical paperwork submitted and when I am reminded of all my previous year’s medical challenges.

I am trying to get my information submitted. I am also thinking about what I should do regarding the blood clot(s) in my PICC line arm. If I go in, they will most likely remove my line. If I do nothing, it will be a few weeks of pain, and I might be forced to go in to have the line removed anyway.

In the meantime, I have chosen to take a week off from my usual life. I need a break, but I also need the energy to sort out these unexpected obstacles.

Happy (Belated) 6th Anniversary!

As I look at the calendar, I realize the sixth anniversary for this blog has come and gone. Usually, it is a big celebration for me, but of late, I have been extremely busy. I hardly notice the date as the days pass by.

Six years ago, I wanted to chart my life's journey. My dear friend passed away. I wanted to do something which would honor her memory and also give me an avenue to express myself. I contemplated starting a YouTube channel, but who was I to make videos. I decided to begin writing a blog.

Now, six years later, I chuckle to myself that I ended creating a YouTube channel and filming videos anyway. I partially regret not having started my YouTube channels sooner, but it is also a blessing. I worked very hard on many of my blog posts. As I search for material for my YouTube channels, I often find myself reading my old blog posts. I am astonished how good my writing is. Some of my posts have become YouTube videos. It is a blessing to have so much content already finished. I just have to film and edit the video.

As I think back over the last six years, I could never have imagined what my life would be like today. A ventilator, tracheostomy tube, IV nutrition and an IV line keep me alive. Six years ago I said I never wanted to be attached to a machine, and yet, now I am attached to several machines all the time. Although my life has dramatically changed, I hope my love and devotion to God never fails.

A Long Hard Week

Last week was a week in which everything seemed to spire out of control. It was not anything one BIG thing, but several things. I had issues with my infusion company, my TPN was sent out late, I am supposed to get blood work done, but I do not have paperwork with the correct diagnosis code, I received a HUGE medical bill in the mail, etc.

I try to remain optimistic and hopeful, but the stress of everything wore me out. My body tolerates stress poorly, and now after having surgery on my pelvis, my lady parts scream out in pain when my body becomes tired.

I tried to go on a mini-vacation, but that too failed. I traveled to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy. There is a beach nearby. I thought I would get my medicine and swing over to the beach. I could look at the water and enjoy a few minutes of solitude. But, that did not happen. The pharmacy did not have my prescription filled. I spent 40 minutes waiting for it. By the time I exited the drug store, I was completely exhausted. My trip to the beach was aborted. I went home and spent the day in bed.

I am hoping this next week is a better week.

Arterial Blood Line. Let's never do one of those again!

Recently, I had surgery. Before my procedure, the anesthesiologist said she was going to place an arterial blood line into my wrist. The doctor promised to insert the line while I was asleep during the surgery.

If you do not know what an arterial blood line is, this is a needle which is placed into an artery. A line runs out of the artery and is connected to a machine. The machine monitors blood pressure. Arterial blood can be collected to monitor the levels of carbon dioxide, oxygen and electrolytes.

I have had a similar procedure done before in which a needle was used to collect arterial blood. It is one of the MOST PAINFUL procedures I have ever endured. I absolutely REFUSE to have my arteries accessed. I would have refused to have this arterial blood line placed; however, the anesthesiologist insisted upon it and promised to place it while I was unconscious.

The line was placed. I was glad I was not awake for it. Whoever inserted the needle missed on the first attempt. A second try was needed. The line was very painful. I pray I will never need one ever again.

Yippee!!! A Map!

 I am not sure when it happened, but sometime in my life I developed a love for maps. I love looking at maps of cities, ancient maps, historical maps, etc. Seeing maps helps my brain organize information. When I travel to a city, I love memorizing a map and having it stored in my brain.

At Bible study a few years ago, a very kind person brought some maps of the Middle East for me to have. Another member of the Bible study laminated the maps, and the maps have been happily making their appearances at almost every Bible study.

My love for maps must have made itself known to a relatively new member of Bible study. We were talking about Masada National Park in Israel. This week, she brought a pamphlet and map of the ancient site. She allowed me to take home the material so I could view at my leisure. I am so excited!!! I can't wait to study it!

A Perfectly Planned Appointment

Once a month, I have to travel 45 minutes to the laboratory to have my blood drawn for my monthly blood tests. These tests are needed to calibrate my IV nutrition called TPN. My monthly blood draw should have been last week, but with Independence Day (and I was having a lousy week of health), I told my infusion pharmacy I would have the tests done this week.

Every few months, I have an appointment to see my doctor. I never know when the appointment is. I am always told I will be called with the date and time. That never happens. Today, I thought I would call and check to see when my next appointment is. The receptionist informs me the appointment is tomorrow. I am thunderstruck.

Tomorrow!? Well, that works for me. I was planning on getting my blood drawn on Thursday, but tomorrow will work. My doctor and the lab are right across the hall from each other. I am glad I waited until this week to get my lab work done. I will be able to get everything accomplished in one visit to the medical center
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How I spend my holidays…

As I scroll through social media, I see people at picnics, parades and fireworks celebrations. It looks like so much fun. People are smiling. Food is abundant, and everyone looks so relaxed.

I often wish I could join the people on my computer screen. I wish I had the energy to spend a day (or weekend) playing games and chatting with friends. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to leave my home.

Instead, I spend the day (like most other days) in bed. I push through fatigue and exhaustion. When it is time for fireworks, I stay home and watch a fireworks display from another community on television.

As my eyelids are heavy with sleep, I reflect back on previous holidays in which I was well enough to leave my home. As I drift to sleep, I ask God when I will be well enough to once again enjoy celebrations with family and friends.