In January 2008, I gathered with my friends as we stood in a large auditorium. We were dressed in our best business causal attire. We held our precious white coats in our hands. This day, we would go through a special white coat ceremony which would officially launch our medical careers.
As I stood looking at my classmates, I wondered where we would be in 15 years. I imagined I would be at a medical center on the East Coast of the USA, working tirelessly to save medically complex patients. It would have been a long journey, but I would have done it! I would have successfully conquered medical school and all my training programs.
Glimpses of a future husband floated through my mind. How many children would we have? Where would we live?
The future was limitless. Excitement pulled at every fiber of my being...
As I look back to this ceremony 15 years ago, my heart is rather shattered. Not a single dream has come true. Instead of becoming a physician, I am perpetually the patient. Instead of helping medically complex patients, I am the medically complex patient. Instead of working tirelessly, I am always exhausted from fighting chronic illness. Instead of saving lives, I am on life support.
I am glad the future is veiled to us. If someone would have told me 15 years ago I would be severely hampered by my health, I would have thought you were crazy. Nothing was going to stop me...nothing except my health and God.
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