The Fight to Keep Going...

Exhaustion pulls my body into a heap on the bed.
I fight to keep my eyes open.
I scream out to God, “I am tired! I do not want to do this anymore! I just want to live out my days watching mindless videos.”

Messages come to me via Facebook, YouTube and email.
People want help.
People are confused.
People are begging for guidance.

I sigh, and begin another long night of correspondence.
My eyes are bleary.
It’s hard to make my thoughts coherent.

I try to be polite.
I try to be nice.

One comment reads, “Thank you for making your videos. One a very dark night, you saved me from ending my life.”

The tears of fatigue which were ebbing at the corners of my eyes come rushing down my cheeks as tears of sadness.
I saved someone’s life? No. God directed this person to my video and helped the person realize suicide is not the answer.

Pushing the tears from my face, I thank God for His kindness.
I sigh and say, “I guess I will make more videos. If You can use my channels to save lives, who am I to discontinue Your work.”

I finish my correspondence and collapse onto my pillow.
As sleep tugs at my eyelids, I begin thinking of new YouTube video ideas.
And soon, sleep overtakes me.