I’d rather be the victim than the victor

Over the last few weeks, a number of people have contacted me regarding various topics. The main theme is: I need help. Can you help me?

I have learned long ago to not get entangled in other people’s affairs. If I see someone post on Facebook about having a certain medical condition or wanting help with a personal issue, I try not to get involved. I will only give encouraging words and/or tell the person I am praying for him. I have found if I try to offer assistance, it is a waste of my time and energy.

These last few weeks, people have reached out to me, specifically asking for assistance. I did not want to respond, but out of courtesy I opined. I tried hard to make my comments short. I tried to be to the point. After feeling as though I did a Herculean job, I submitted my work. Sadly, the people did not seem to want my assistance. My words fell on blind eyes.

I try not to be upset, but it is hard. I have limited energy. It takes a lot of concentration to string together words and coherent thoughts. Many times I have complex ideas I try to sift down and explain in kindergarten terms. It is a grueling process.

After the event is over and done with, I wonder why I allowed myself to be dragged into these situations. The person seemed so desperate. The person asked specifically for my help. In the end, they all have the same outcome. They do not want my help. They just want confirmation they have the worse situation anyone can imagine. If you give them ideas on how to overcome the challenge, your words are met with stiff resistance. I am told, “No! There is no solution to my situation! Nothing will help me!”

People do not want to change. I need to remind myself that.

In today’s culture, people want to play the victim and receive all associated pity and sympathy. If there is no magic pill to correct their situation, then there is no hope at all. People do not want to find a way and do the hard work of changing—changing your diet, changing your lifestyle, changing your friends, changing the way you react to certain situations, etc.

I have always believed there is a way to get out of every event in life. It usually is not easy, but there is always something which can be done. Unfortunately, people have become very lazy. They would rather live a miserable life than try to change. They would rather be the victim than the victor.