When you might drown because you can't turn around (Part 2)

When I am nearing the city, I have two ways in which I can go. I can continue on the interstate or take a highway which skirts the southern edge of the city. The interstate has some low areas which are prone to flooding. The highway is mostly elevated and only dives down to street level as it enters the city. Although it is only lightly raining, I opt to exit the interstate and take the highway.

As I am approaching the area where the highway turns back returns back to street level, I feel the need to exit. I tell myself, "No, that's silly. There is no reason to get off the highway." As I come over a hill, I can see before me, the traffic is stopped. There are tail lights as far as I can see. I immediately know I need to get in the right lane and take the exit. (I instantly know God had given me the warning to take this exit.)

Once on the frontage road, traffic seems odd. The left lane is long with traffic. There are a couple cars and two semi trucks in front of me. The big rig decides to turn right, jumping a curb to get in to a parking lot. The back of the parking lot leads into an adjacent side street. I move up in line. I then see a car from the left lane put his blinker on, and he too hops the curb to get into the parking lot. I can see the traffic light has turned green. No one moves. I wait and wait. The traffic light cycles through and again turns green. No one moves. I have a sinking feeling there is something blocking traffic.

I want to get into the parking lot next to me, but I do not want to damage the car. I can see about a half block behind me, there is an entrance to the parking lot. I look in my rear view, and to my shock, no one is behind me. Everyone is in the left lane! I quickly put the car in reverse and press the accelerator. I pray no one decides to change lanes and hits me while I do some freestyle driving. I breathe a sigh of relief when I reach the parking lot entrance. I put the car in drive and quickly make my way across the lot. When I reach the adjacent road, I take a left. As I approach the cross street, I look to my left. I can see a school bus is stalled, and cars are all over the place. I cannot discern if there is water on the roadway. There does not seem to be an accident, but no one is moving. I take a right on the cross street. I have no idea where I am, but I use my old logic, "All streets go somewhere." I pray this road leads me to a place I know.

Very soon, the road dead ends. I look on my GPS, and I nearly leap with joy! Oh, I know this road! This is road will take me to my hotel! I take a left. The roadway is slightly flooded, but I am able to maneuver through the water without much trouble. As I enter the city, I come to an interstate road which loops around the metro area. I know the road which lies before me is very low. I am concerned the streets may be flooded, or there may be accidents. I decide to hop on the interstate since it is elevated above the city streets. As I enter the interstate, I am shock at how few cars are on the roadway. It is rush hour...but where are the cars!?

Quickly, I am at the exit for my hotel. I cannot believe it! I made it! As I pull into the hotel parking lot, the rain is a little heavier than a drizzle. I am so grateful I will be able to make it into the hotel without getting soaked. As I am waiting to check in, the woman in front of me says her friend is stranded at the airport. The roads are flooded. She does not know how she is going to make the ten mile journey to the hotel. The front desk worker says the roadways to her home are currently flooded. She does not know how she is going to make it home.

After I check in and get to my hotel room, I search the internet for information about the weather. I find a website which has streaming video. They show image after image of flooded streets, interstates and highways. I watch in awe. How was I able to get through all this safely? I know it was nothing more than God leading me. There were several times when I was sure I was going to have an accident, but nothing happened. I thank God over and over again for His protection. I look out my window. To the south, the clouds are breaking up. The sun is setting, producing one of the most majestic sunsets I have ever seen. I know somewhere there is a rainbow.

"I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth, and the rainbow appears, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth" (Genesis 9:13-16).

Link to Part One click here)

When you might drown because you can't turn around (Part One)

As I sit in Bible study, my dear friend, Vicki, tells me her husband is staying home this week from traveling. I ask her why. She tells me there is a storm slated to hit several hundred miles from us. "It just wouldn't be safe for him to be traveling through all that rain." I am surprised to hear about this storm as I have a trip coming up in a few days to go to my doctor at the large medical center. It seems as though the medical center will be in the storm’s path.

When I arrive home from Bible study, I look at the weather report. Yes, the storm is supposed to hit on Wednesday, but it should be clearing out by Thursday afternoon. I am excited. "Oh good! I need to travel on Thursday to make my Friday morning appointment. Praise be to God, the storm should be gone by the time I arrive in the late afternoon." I check the weather report again on Wednesday evening. Again, the news has not changed. The storm is moving as expected. There should only be isolated showers on Thursday afternoon.

Thursday morning, I pack up the car. I am happy to see the sun is brightly shining. It is going to be a good day to drive. When I am two hours from the medical center, I notice the clouds are thickening up. I think to myself, "This is odd. I wonder why there are all these clouds since the storm is supposed to be clearing out of the area." I continue to drive; the cloud density increases.

About an hour from the medical center, the skies in front of me are BLACK!!! The western, eastern and northern skies are thick darkness. My heart sinks. I see a bright flash of lightning straight ahead of me. I know I have made a grave mistake. I should have stayed home. The storm has not left. It is roaring away. I could turn around and go home, but I an only an hour away from my destination. I am extremely tired from driving. I long to go to sleep. I do not have the energy to drive five hours back home. Besides, maybe the weather is not as bad as it looks. Maybe the weather would hold until I am closer to my hotel. If I was not supposed to have come on this trip, I am sure God would have put some stumbling blocks in my way. He will take care of me.

A few minutes after thinking these thoughts, rain begins to fall. It changes very quickly from a light sprinkle into a downpour. I want to cry. For the next 25 miles, there is road construction. The highway turns from an interstate into a two lane make-shift road which haphazardly meanders along a frontage road and over badly torn up old freeway lanes. The next 25 miles is extremely dangerous to drive during ideal road conditions. Add the slightest amount of water and the roadway pools with water and floods. I want to pull over or stop, but there is no where to go. The construction has shut down most of the exits. Concrete barriers keep the traffic moving in two narrow lanes. Not knowing what else to do, I continue driving into the darkness.

As I drive and the rain impedes my ability to see the roadway, I decide to implore my blizzard driving skills. I find a semi truck with bright tail lights and follow him. When he breaks, I break. When he swerves, I swerve. I follow the semi, keeping a small stopping distance between the two of us. I pray the man driving the big rig can see the freeway. I cannot see anything but sheets of rain flowing down my windshield and the tail lights in front of me.

Suddenly, the semi slams on his breaks. I break as hard as I can without hydroplaning. A foot of water covers the roadway. The semi manages to make it safely through. I step on the gas and pray I can make it through the water. As I am attempting to cross, a large pickup truck speeds pass me in the next lane next to me through the interstate lake. Water flies up over my car. I cannot see! I hang on to the steering wheel with all my might as the impact of the water against my car threatens to pulls me off the roadway and into the flooded ditch. I pray, "Jesus, help me!" Somehow, I stay on the road and make it through the water.

Several more times, 6-12 inches of water cover the roadway. Every time, I slow up to allow the semi to safely pass. I then step on the accelerator hard, hoping I will not get stuck in the water. I keep praying for God to get me through this weather fiasco without an accident or injury. As I am nearing the end of the construction zone, about two feet of water covers the highway. The flooding is hidden. The road dips down. I can see the semi in front of me panic as he hits the flooded roadway. I am not sure my low-riding vehicle can clear this flooded area. I follow the semi closely, allowing his vehicle to push the water out of the way and into the ditch. The wake which his vehicle makes allows me to safely pass through the water.

When I think I cannot endure another moment more of driving in this incredibly dangerous construction zone, the roadway veers back on to the regular freeway route. The lanes widen and expand to three lanes. Although there is still construction, the freeway is now riding high above the flooded frontage roads. As I continue to drive, the rain lessens. I am rejoicing to have made it through that nightmare.

Link to Part Two click here)

When boredom becomes a blessing

As I sit in Bible study, I am fighting to keep my eyes open. After spending five long days in the hospital (and subsequently four nights without almost no sleep), my body desperately wants to slip off to dreamland. 

As we go through prayer requests, an attendee asks how I have been. She has been away for several months visiting her family and helping her daughter make a cross country move. I briefly state I just got out of the hospital and arrived home about 2.5 hours ago. I am feeling much better now that I have been on IV antibiotics.

Another attendee at Bible study points to her heart and says, "Don't forget about all the other things you have been through." As I look at her hand, my mind quickly thinks back to the last three months. Oh yeah, I had all those issues with my heart and blood clots. I am stunned as I realize the last three months have been a marathon. I have had countless appointments and tests. I lost count how many times I went to the emergency department. Then I also had some hospitalizations. 

I am in disbelief this has been my life. How did this all happen? Where did my tranquil life from this spring go?

I think back to the month of April. I am relaxing on the porch and am incredibly bored. I want to do something; I want to go somewhere. But strict lock-down measures mean we are not allowed to go anywhere unless it is "essential". I pass my days writing Bible studies and studying God's word.

As Bible study begins, one attendee asks how I had time to write a Bible study for this week. I smile and say, "Oh, I wrote this back in April when we were in lock down." I then nearly start laughing. All those days and weeks when I was yearning to go somewhere, I had used the time to get ahead in Bible study. I could have never imagined how valuable those days would be now that I have so much less time. As much as I hated and despised the lock downs, I thank God for this blessing. It is incredible how God used even stay-at-home measures to set up a better tomorrow. What a mighty God we serve!

More Hospital Fun (Part 2)

As I enter the entrance to the emergency department (ED), I try to reassure myself this is a good idea. I have been progressively becoming more and more short of breath and have been coughing. I know the bacteria in my lungs is making me mildly sick. My chest x-ray will be normal. My white blood cell count will be normal. The bacteria is getting ready to throw a party, but right now, it is just in the planning mode. The invitations are being sent out across my lungs to a future event, but at the moment, nothing exciting is happening.

I am taken back to a room in the ED. My pulmonologist's office called over to the ED to inform them I was coming. I relay the information to the ED doctor. I am surprised my pulmonologist sends over the sputum culture results which indicate I have a bacterial infection in my respiratory tract. Even when my chest x-ray and total white blood cell count come back normal (although the differential white blood cell counts shows a white blood cell shift common with a bacterial infection), I am given IV antibiotics. This never happens. If my total white blood cell count is not elevated, I am always told I am not sick and am sent home. But today, everything is different.

After receiving IV fluids and antibiotics, I begin to feel a little bit better. Four and a half hours later, my primary care team evaluates me in the ED. The doctor agrees with the pulmonologist to admit me to the hospital, place a PICC line and start me on IV antibiotics. I am grateful something is going to be done to get rid of the bacteria in my lungs, but I am also feeling very unworthy. This is how I always dreamed my respiratory infections would be handled. My pulmonologist would make suggestions, and they would be followed through at the hospital. However, this has rarely, if ever, happened. Whenever I come to the hospital, everything goes awry. Doctors unfamiliar with my medical case make decisions contrary to my medical team. The infection is not treated. I am sent home sicker than when I arrived. I am soon back in the ED with a severe infection including sepsis.

The rest of my hospitalization is rather uneventful. I have a PICC line placed. Home IV antibiotics are ordered. Despite all my blood work and imaging being normal, the bacteria growing in my sputum culture is taken very seriously.

As I leave the hospital, I shake my head. I wonder what I did to deserve such amazing care. What did I do to finally receive early intervention for a respiratory infection? And all this happened at a local hospital. All this happened without having to drive nearly 400 miles for medical care.

I am overwhelmed with joy and gladness. I thank God for this one reprieve. To receive great care without having to fight for it is enough to bring me to tears. It has been a rough year. I thank God over and over again for His abundant kindnesses.

 

 For the link to Part One, click here

 

 

More Hospital Fun

I have been very blessed these last many months that I have been free and clear from any lung infections. It has been about six months since my last bout with pneumonia. This is one of the longest (perhaps it is the longest) time I have ever gone without having a respiratory infection since I got my tracheotomy in May 2017.

I am at a local hospital, which is unusual. I often travel nearly 400 miles to the medical facility where my beloved pulmonologist works. However, since she dropped me as a patient in March, I have been trying to stay well and not visit doctors.

When I was in the hospital in July for a blood clot in my lungs, a primary care physician took my case. She followed up with me in clinic. She gave me four referrals to local doctors, one of which was a pulmonologist. I cancelled my first appointment with the pulmonologist. The second appointment he cancelled. The third appointment I was able to do a telemedicine appointment. The doctor knew about tracheostomies and ventilators. Since I was not feeling well, he wanted to culture the sputum from my lungs. He said I would probably go on IV antibiotics.

At my next appointment, I had a telemedicine with a nurse practitioner (NP). She was clueless about the bacteria growing in my lungs. She gave me oral antibiotics which were not effective against the bacteria. Since I sounded sick at the appointment, she told me to come into the office for my next appointment. A week passed.

At the in-person appointment, I was very short of breath and was coughing. My medical case was now down-graded even more to just a nurse. She said the chest x-ray I had done a few days prior was clear. That was good news. I did not have pneumonia. I tried unsuccessfully to explain my chest x-rays are 80-90% normal when I have pneumonia. The only way the pneumonia shows up is via CT scan. The nurse could not understand what I was saying. My chest x-ray was clear. I did not have pneumonia. End of story.

As the nurse talked to me, she finally looked at me. She suddenly noticed I was short of breath and really struggling to breathe. She immediately sprang up and listened to my lungs. She ran out the door and summoned the NP. The NP (who I saw via telemedicine the week before) was concerned I was sicker than I was the previous week. She immediately said I needed to go to the ER to get IV antibiotics. She called over to the hospital to tell them I was coming.

I was not in favor of going to the hospital. My chest x-ray was clear. I was not breathing well and was coughing, but I knew my white blood cell count would not be elevated. (I have been sick so much, I can tell you what my white blood cell count is fairly accurately by the way I feel.) If I went to the ER, I might be sent home. It would be another blemish on my chart of going to the ER and not being sick. My mom talks me into going to the ER.

For the link to Part Two, click here

 

Be calm. Ignore the pain.

Since February, I have been having significant pain in my gut. It took me several months to figure out the pain was from my pancreas. Usually the pain is in the middle of my abdomen. Now, it is around my belly button and radiates to the left side of my upper abdomen. I fought through the symptoms, but then in July, I decided I needed to get medical intervention. The pain and frequent bouts of diarrhea were impeding my ability to eat.

In August, I had a telemedicine appointment with a GI doctor I saw in 2018 for my pancreas. The last time he did a procedure called an endoscopic ultrasound (EUS) and another procedure called endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography (ERCP). The EUS is just a scope which goes down your throat, through your stomach and stops in the first part of your small intestines. It then uses a tiny ultrasound to get images of your pancreas. The ERCP is similar, but the endoscope has an extension on it which makes it possible for the scope to go up your bile ducts to your liver and pancreas. It uses a video camera for imaging.

At my appointment, I told the doctor I thought I needed another ERCP. He decided he would only do an EUS unless a CT scan indicated my pancreas had a large abnormality. My CT scan came back normal, but without being able to have contrast dye, the only thing the CT scan could show was that my pancreas is normal in size. It could not give any internal images and could not indicate if the inside of my pancreas had any abnormalities. The procedure remained the same--only an EUS.

The day of my procedure, the doctor called in sick. Thankfully, another physician filled in to do the procedure. After the EUS, I was told a bile duct was enlarged. The cause of the enlarged bile duct could not be seen on the ultrasound. I may need an ERCP, so a video camera can visualize the abnormality. The replacement doctor would relay the information to my doctor. My doctor will decide if I need an ERCP.

I am trying to remain calm and remember God is in control, but I am frustrated. I absolutely despise scopes into my pancreas. They cause a TREMENDOUS amount of pain and make my pancreas extremely angry. The thought of having another scope makes me want to cry. Why couldn't the doctor just do both procedures at the same time and if he did not need to do the ERCP, he could have cancelled it after doing the EUS?

After having the procedure, I was shaking in pain. I was given lots of fentanyl. I struggled during the 6 hour car ride with an angry pancreas. Now, my pancreas has been causing me lots of issues. I can eat only a little bit, and then it explodes in pain for many hours on end.

I do not want to have another scope, with this time the procedure being the ERCP, but I have been very sick with pancreatitis for many months. There is something wrong with my pancreas. We need to figure it out, or I will be on my way to the grave. When you cannot eat, you cannot live.

 

What I learned on Tuesday night

On Tuesday, I did not know there was a debate. When the attendees arrived for Bible study, they were eager to have a fast study and to go home a few minutes early to watch the debate. As study started, I was shocked at how hard it was to speak. My chest was heavy and ached in pain. Even though I took nitroglycerin and albuterol, it was very hard to force air through my vocal cords. My airways were swollen, and I was gasping for breath.

I struggled through Bible study. My mind was often blank. I could not recall simple things. I pushed through. About ten minutes before 8 p.m., Bible study disbanded. Everyone headed for their homes.

During the debate, I was doing researched for an upcoming YouTube video. I was flabbergasted to read hand sanitizer does a very poor job killing the novel coronavirus. If the hand sanitizer has less than 60% alcohol content, it is almost worthless against the virus. If the hand sanitizer has 60-95% alcohol, it is able to paralyze and kill some virus. However, hand washing with soap and water destroys the virus and gets rid of nearly 100% of the virus particles from your hands. Hand washing is by far superior to hand sanitizer. (And this was true for many other viruses and bacteria too.) So if you want to save lives, wash your hands!

I also helped some individuals on Facebook who have chronic illnesses. I was able to share some of my experiences. With much heart-ache, I again discovered how many people are erroneously diagnosed with Munchausen Syndrome when they suffer from chronic medical conditions.

After the debate, I worked on making a YouTube thumbnail for my next video. I then curled up in a ball to go to sleep. Sleep was elusive. A bad headache and GI pain plagued my body.

During the night, I had a dream in which I had to have a GI procedure. It was found out what was causing all my GI issues. I then had emergency surgery. Before and after the surgery, my pancreas and GI tract were in extreme pain. I woke up. The surgery was a dream. The pain was real. I tried to go back to sleep, but my headache was back, and the GI pain was unrelenting.

All too soon, I had to force myself out of bed. As I got out of bed, my heart raced; my chest erupted in pain; I struggled to breathe. My body starting coughing, trying to clear my airways. I wheezed and could feel my tight airways resist the incoming air as I gasped between coughs. My head throbbed in pain. I fought hard to begin my morning routine and get out the door for a long day of medical tests and an appointment.

Now you may be wondering, “Did you not watch the debate?” The answer is no. I have a busy schedule, and time is precious. If I want to hear two senior citizens argue, I can frequently experience that any time my parents get into a disagreement. I do not like drama. My body cannot tolerate stress. It is best to make better use of my time and do things which will allow me to be more productive. Remember, wash your hands and wash them frequently!