God says go; I say no

Two and a half years ago, I was experiencing significant health complications. I desperately needed a pulmonologist (and medical ally) to quickly resolve my medical issues. Finding assistance in my local area was extremely unproductive. I went from doctor to doctor, but no one was able to help. I could feel God tell me I needed to leave my immediate area and seek care elsewhere. But where was I supposed to go?

When a physician tried to intentionally kill me during a hospitalization, I knew it was time to go. Before being discharged from the hospital, my respiratory therapist from my durable medical equipment company told me to go to the medical center 400 miles away. Using just this information, God set up a number of miracles which lead me to an amazing pulmonologist.

I have greatly enjoyed my pulmonologist, but for the last year, I have known I have needed a different physician. I could sense there was little my doctor could do for me...but I love my pulmonologist so much. I can't leave her. God kept telling me to go. I kept saying no. Besides, I had no idea where to go.

Last week, my appointment with my pulmonologist did not go well. (For more details, please click here) She told me not to come back. I was extremely ill. I had planned on going to the emergency department at the hospital across the street from the clinic after my appointment, but my physician made it clear there was damning medical errors in my patient chart which would impede medical treatment. I greatly appreciated this information, but now where was I supposed to go? I went back to the hotel to think everything over.

My mom and I discussed the day's events and my options. There are a number of hospitals in and around the medical center. I could choose another hospital, but again, I was unsure which hospital to choose. For the last two and a half years, I have almost exclusively been at one hospital. The thought of learning the ropes of a new hospital and new doctors was quite frightening. But, not knowing what else to do, we chose a hospital I had visited once before and hoped for the best.

From the moment I entered this new hospital, God moved mountain after mountain to make everything work incredibly well. I was seen extremely quickly in the emergency department. I received exceptional care in the emergency department and hospital. Doctors believed what I said; my medical conditions were not questioned. Less than 10 hours after arriving in the emergency department, I was transferred to a hospital room. During rounds, I saw a new pulmonologist. I was told I could follow-up with this doctor or one of his associates. At just like that (in less than one day after losing my pulmonologist), I now have access to several pulmonologists.

I am trying to rejoice about all God's tremendous miracles, but my heart is still heavy. I dearly love my old pulmonologist. It is hard to lose a friend--a person who has greatly influenced my life. It is also difficult to say good-bye to one of God's carefully orchestrated miracles. Perhaps in time, as memories fade, my heart will mend and I will be able to fully rejoice in God's abundant blessings.

"I sought the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:4, 6, 18)