And just like that, I lost my team of doctors

Two and a half years ago, I met one of the most amazing physicians. The events which lead this doctor into my life were nothing more than divine miracles. I thought everything was going well. There were hiccups along the way, and there were instances in which it seemed my doctor had a grudge against me. But I brushed these situations aside and attributed them to my doctor and I having bad days.

After my appointment last fall, I decided I would not keep my doctor up-to-date about my hospitalizations. My relationship with my doctor seemed to be on shaky ground. I was not going to make a follow-up appointment unless God arranged for it to happen.

Several weeks ago, I was in extreme pain from my port. I reluctantly emailed my doctor to have her forward an email on to my infectious disease doctor. In the weeks to come, I was hospitalized for an infection. My doctor was informed about my hospital stay and actually was outside my room rounding on other patients in my unit. I was disappointed she never popped her head in to say, “Hi!” Again, I dismisssed this incident as her being busy and not knowing I was on the other side of a partially open curtain. At the end of that hospitalization, the hospital doctor called and schedule an appointment for me to see my doctor. I did not want to go to the appointment, but I had told God if He arranged for the appointment to happen, I would go. So off I went to see my doctor.

At my appointment, I could sense my doctor was being distant. I told her flat out I knew there was nothing she could do for me. I needed IV antibiotics, something she can’t/won’t prescribe. My remarks seemed to calm the air. My mom then told the doctor about all the troubles I have had since a doctor at the hospital put in my chart I have munchausen syndrome—i.e., I make up all my medical ailments. My beloved doctor suddenly exploded and said she believed I had munchausen! She then went on a rant about things which happened two and a half years ago (shortly after we met) which caused her grief and offended her pride. I was shocked she was talking about events from so long ago. If she had issues with me, I didn’t understand why she didn’t discuss the problems as they arose. We could have worked through the situations and hopefully come to a resolution. But instead, she said nothing, and stewed on her emotions for two and a half years.

God has warned me from the moment my doctor and I met He would use this relationship as He saw fit and would dissolve it at His will. Yesterday, my doctor told me not to come back to see her. I was hurt as I really like her as a physician and as a person. But I could sense God had been arranging for this split since the day my doctor accepted me as a patient.

Moreover, my doctor told me my infectious disease doctor also does not want to see me. So it seems in just one short appointment I lost my whole medical team.

So, where do I go from here? Like all of life’s adventures, I must continue to trust God. God can instantly move mountains and display His glorious works. I am a bit bummed I lost such a dear medical partnership, but I am grateful for everything the doctor has done in my life. I have no hard feelings about the break-up. I am praying God gives clarity to my doctor and allows her to find forgiveness.