Pain: The unwelcomed guest

Recently, I have been in tremendous pain. I try to push through without using pain medicine. I generally know my pain level and can discern what drugs will help. Since I have a very limited supply of prescription pain medicine, I try to avoid it at all costs. I often do not take over-the-counter medicines either, as most of the time if I have that little bit of pain, I can fight through it. However, if the pain lasts for hours on end, I will break down and take an over-the-counter drug.

Despite the pain, I attempt to live my life as normally as possible. I push through to maintain my normal routine. I fight the tears, screams of pain and relentless tremors which often threaten to break out into the open.

This last weekend, my head, neck and shoulder were exploding in pain. I kept telling myself it was my imagination. I am not in that much pain. I ride in the car to church. I take some acetaminophen. By the time I make it inside church, I want to cry. "Oh, the pain!" I wait two hours for the over-the-counter medicine to work. Nothing happens. I then break open the prescription medicines--acetaminophen with codeine. The pain intensifies. Tears are welling up in my eyes. My body is shaking uncontrollably, and I feel as though I am going to throw up. I am trying, trying so hard to remain still as I sit through Sunday School. I attempt to remain composed as I say good-bye to my friends. Despite my best efforts, my one dear friend notices I am not feeling well. I flee to the exit and try to rest in the car.

When another hour passes, I take my last resort pain medicine: hydrocodone with acetaminophen. This is it. If the pain does not ease, I have nothing else to take. I wait and wait. An hour after taking the medicine, the pain decreases to about an eight out of ten. I stop shaking. For an hour, the medicine helps. Then, like clockwork, the pain comes roaring back. There is nothing else I can do. I lie in bed, shaking uncontrollably and fight the urge to vomit. I cover my eyes and wish for the pain to break. Finally, nine hours after it started, the pain lessens. Hallelujah! I can now uncover my eyes. Very slowly, my body starts functioning again. The pain drops to about a six out of ten and stays there for the rest of the day. I move gingerly, knowing any sudden move can cause the pain to come roaring back.

"Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses.
Look upon my affliction and my trouble,
And forgive all my sins." (Psalm 25:16-18)