Being comfortable at home, is that a bad thing?

I recently had a doctor's appointment, a doctor's appointment I have waited a very long time for. I was having a bad health day due to severe breathing issues during the night. I do not want to cancel. I know many clinics have strict cancellation policies in which if you cancel, you are changed an out of pocket cost as high as $100. Moreover, I do not want to wait several more months for another appointment. I decide to bear down and make the trip to my the doctor's office.

I am told to arrive 30 minutes early for the appointment to fill out paperwork. I do so and fill out the basic demographic information and sign a few places on a form. I complete the paperwork in about 2 minutes. I wait for my appointment. I am so tired. My body is shaking from severe fatigue. I wait and wait. Almost an hour after my scheduled appointment time, I get called back to a room. A medical assistant asks me some health questions. Nearly two hours after arriving at the clinic, I see the doctor.

The appointment is unproductive. The doctor has only a one sheet piece of paper faxed over from another doctor. She has no other medical records. (I was not told to bring any medical records along with me, or I would have happily supplied her with some.) The doctor asks an assistant to have medical records faxed over from a nearby clinic. The five pages of information provide little more than my demographic information and vital signs. The doctor is frustrated no actual medical records are sent.

The doctor tells me she can do nothing. She mentions I should travel six hours to a clinic in a far away land. I protest. I am tired, so tired. Traveling long distances for a doctor's appointment is something I am trying to avoid. Hence, my appointment with this "local" physician, who is still located 45 minutes away from my home. The doctor does not seem to grasp the concept that I tire easily. Traveling is very strenuous. The doctor tells me I can travel to my appointment, rest the night and then have the appointment the next morning. Then I can travel back home. Obviously, this woman has no idea how energy draining it is to ride in a car. The constant motion, braking, turning and having to breathe cold, dry air through my portable ventilator for six hours is very taxing.

Moreover, it is very tiring having to unload the car and move into a hotel for the night. Finding outlets near a bed to supply electricity to my medical equipment is a constant challenge. Additionally, after a long day in the car, my body is screaming in pain. Sleeping on a well-used hotel mattress translates into me not sleeping due to pain and my brain being confused. (New locations are very stressful for me, especially small spaces such as a hotel room. I have balance and double vision issues. Trying to maneuver around a small, unfamiliar space means my brain is working over-time trying to figure out where everything is located and interpreting the visual information to prevent me from running into nightstands, walls, luggage, beds, etc. Inevitably, I will bang into something and have a lovely bruise for a souvenir.) And lastly, in the morning, I have to pack up all my medical equipment, load it all back into the car, then press on to an appointment and ultimately make the long journey back home.

I can see from the doctor's lack of understanding about having a chronic, energy-draining medical condition, she cannot grasp how simple tasks can require so much stamina. I tell the doctor I do not travel well. The doctor retorts, "It is hard for people who are comfortable at home to leave their home. They do not want to leave home when they are so comfortable." Although the doctor does not specifically say this is the reason I do not leave home, her use of these words at this point in the conversation implies it.

I nearly want to laugh. "Oh doctor. You got me! That is it! I am so comfortable at home. I have plenty of outlets and extension cords if my device's cord cannot reach an outlet. I have climate control, am familiar with all my surroundings, have wide walkways and doorways which prevent me from banging into them, and have a soft, plush bed. The environment is not chaotic--there is very little noise, and I do not have to have the stress of people moving, bumping into me and making noise on their mobile devices. Yes, my home is the best place for me. There is no place like it!"

As much as all these statements are true, I long for the ability to leave home. To feel the heat of the sun on my face and the wind in my hair is such a luxury! To have the energy to go out with friends, eat at a restaurant and freely go about life without lugging around medical equipment and without feeling as though I am going to die from complete exhaustion seems like bliss. Yes, that would be a grand life, but that is not my life. If I want to survive from day to day and avoid life-threatening complications, I need to do everything I can to protect my energy levels. Will I or won't I go to the clinic so far from my home? The answer will most likely depend on if the referral is made and if I am accepted as a patient at the clinic.