Waiting for the phone call which never comes

I sit near the phone. “Oh, any moment the doctor is going to call me. Any moment, I will find out what the treatment plan is. Any moment I will soon be on the path to better health.” The minutes tick by. The phone remains silent. The hands on the clock go round and round. Soon it is 5 p.m. “Well,” I sigh, “maybe the doctor will call tomorrow.” The next day, I again wait all day next to the phone...and the call never comes.

My last appointment with my physician seemed full of hope and promise that soon I would be back on antibiotics to get rid of my pseudomonas infection. Instead, time has passed, my infection has worsened and I am feeling quite ill. The cycle, which I have tried to avoid, has happened again. I wonder how long it will be before I am back in the hospital. My breathing is fast; my lungs are heavy; my energy level is near zero. How long can my body fight off this bacteria before this infection rages out of control?

I could be frustrated or angry, but I know everything is from God. Numerous times, He could have allowed me to receive antibiotics, but over and over again there have been roadblocks. It is almost comical the multitude of things which have gone wrong over the last one and a half years fighting this infection. The more ridiculous the impediment, the more I throw up my hands and say to God, “Well, then. I guess this isn’t Your will for me. Thanks for making it so abundantly clear. I just hope You decide to heal me soon because I am running out of energy.”

Praying I am soon on the path to better health.

“Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed. Save me and I shall be saved. For You are my praise” (Jeremiah 17:14).