May our words bring blessing and not division

Many years ago, I met one of the most wonderful people I have ever known. The woman is kind, courteous and caring. Her ability to see the good in all situations is breath-taking. Her language is one which brings healing and not division. Not only does she know the Bible, she acts out its principles in all that she says and does. It is easy for one to want to emulate and learn from this godly woman, who also happens to be married to a pastor.

One Sunday, there was a function at church. I attended the function and brought along a friend. My friend did not have much Bible knowledge. The ways she thought and lived her life were based on whatever was right in her own eyes. My friend soon found the pastor's wife. They immediately struck up a conversation. Very soon, a topic arose in which I knew both women had vastly different ideas about. My friend boldly stated her opinion. The pastor's wife politely disagreed and stated some biblical principles to support her point. My friend refused to listen and continued her rant. I could see the pastor's wife was very frustrated. But, instead of continuing the disagreement, she steered the conversation toward a different subject matter.

This situation has always remained with me. The pastor's wife could have acted in so many ways which would have caused division and a feud to arise. Instead, she politely stated her case, and then dropped the subject. The way in which she did it was so effortless. I marvel at the pastor's wife's ability to move passed her feelings and emotions. It was more important for her to be a godly woman than to cause a dispute.

For many, many years, I have tried to copy the pastor's wife when I find myself in similar situations. I, however, allow my emotions and my need to be right to override the more pressing matter of bridling my tongue. Time after time, I would find myself at odds with people about a topic. The end of the conversation was almost always bitter words and hurt feelings.

Recently, I was talking to an acquaintance. A subject arose in which I have very strong opinions. My friend twisted what I said to make her point. I was enraged and annoyed my words were being used to support someone else's viewpoint. I desperately wanted to correct the woman, but instead I dropped the subject and turned to a different topic.

When I was reflecting back on the situation, I was shocked I was actually able to emulate the pastor's wife. Oh, I had finally done it! I had finally been able to control my tongue! What a sweet, sweet victory! Hopefully in the days, weeks and months to come, I can continue on this positive path and be a role model for others.

"With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, this should not be" (James 3:9-10).