Fatigue and exhaustion overwhelm my senses. I want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. Why must I continue to be so sick? Why is it so hard to get antibiotics for an infection? My body is so low on energy. Day after day, I struggle with difficulty breathing, coughing, headaches, aching joints, etc.
When I think I cannot take it any more, I login to Facebook. I scroll through posts and then remember to check for an update on a little 2.5 month old baby, who was born with a congenital diaphragmic hernia. He has had complication after complication...and yet God has performed miracle after miracle for this baby and his family. I look for an update. My heart breaks.
The little boy was supposed to have a simple surgery in which a feeding tube was to be inserted into his intestines. Instead, there were major complications. There was massive bleeding. The child had to endure several more surgeries including having his spleen removed. Praise be to God, he pulled through it all.
As I am reading this little boy’s update, I suddenly realize what a child I have been. Although I feel miserable and very tired, I am not clinging to life. I am not in the intensive care unit and do not have a zillion machines hooked up to me monitoring every move I make.
I suddenly am overcome with gratitude. Instantly I start praying for this infant and showering God with abundant thanksgivings for my own health. Oh how easy it is to allow this life to lead one into great anguish and sorrow. But what a joy it is when God opens one’s eyes to see all His mercies and loving kindnesses.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits, who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies” (Psalm 103:1-4).
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