It has been a long day—a day in which I am glad to never have to repeat again. The day started with a neurology appointment. I really like this physician. In February, this doctor referred me on to an expert neurologist at the large medical facility 400 miles away. The doctor I was referred to knew little about what was causing some of my symptoms. He ran a few blood tests. When these came back normal, I was told my symptoms were not neurological in origin. Although he did not come out and directly say it, he implied my symptoms were psychological. I was told to follow back up with my local neurologist.
My local neurologist seemed very disappointed that the “expert” found nothing wrong with me. She was so sure he would be able to help find the cause to some of my symptoms. Now, she was left clueless. My doctor said, “Well, if the expert can’t figure out your case, I don’t think anyone can.” Despite not knowing what to do, I am still supposed to make a follow up appointment with the local neurologist. I leave the appointment, shaking and completely exhausted.
My lack of energy is causing all my symptoms to rage forth with vengeance. My head is spinning; my body is aching; it feels as though there is an elephant on my chest. I am hot; then I am cold. My cough sounds like a high pitched squeal. As I sit, waiting to register and schedule my appointment, my coughing grows worse and worse. I suddenly feel as though I am fighting with all my energy to breathe. Sharp pain explodes in my chest. My body is shaking uncontrollably as my energy levels drop through the floor. The woman at registration summons a nurse from the emergency department.
When the emergency department nurse arrives, he immediately recognizes me. I have been recently hospitalized three times in two weeks at this facility. He quickly tells the registration woman not to worry. I am just having a coughing spell. He assures the woman that I get these quite often. The trach in my throat causes a lot of irritation and makes me cough. I will eventually stop coughing. Upon hearing the nurse’s words, I am in disbelief. I do not have coughing fits due to my trach. I have coughing episodes because I have FOUR bacteria who are throwing a party in my lungs. I have in my backpack my culture results from my previous hospitalizations stating this information. However, my coughing is so severe, I cannot speak or move. I decide it’s best not to try to argue with the nurse. I do not ever want to be hospitalized at this medical center again due to previous bad experiences. I decide this is God intervening and protecting me from harm. The nurse leaves.
When I am registering for my appointment, there is no electrical outlet around to plug in my humidifier. Within 20 minutes, my lungs are completely dried out. The thick mucus which was causing my coughing and breathing difficulties is now dried out and stuck to the inside of my airways. I stop coughing and am able to breathe better. I praise God for this insight. I am able to leave the medical center, short of breath and feeling very unwell, but my severe coughing has ceased. When I arrive home, I plug my humidifier back in and run my nebulizer. Over the next eight hours, the thick mucus in my airways becomes re-hydrated and fights hard to clog my trach tube. I am seized with endless coughing as my body tries to rid itself of the mucus. I feel like I might die; I am fighting so hard to breathe. Eventually exhaustion overtakes my body; I fall asleep.
I have grown very impatient with the medical world. I wish I could order the tests I need and prescribe the antibiotics I need to fight off the four bacterial infections inhabiting my respiratory tract. Instead, I have to try hard to remember to respect those in authority and patiently wait for God to direct my doctors. He has saved me many times in the midst of dire straits. I know He can do it again.
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