After becoming severely sick with Mitochondrial Disease nine years ago, I found myself stuck in a rut. My friends tried to feel compassion for my downward health spiral, but when you are healthy and still full of lots of energy, it is hard to imagine a life in which just getting out of bed takes a tremendous amount of energy. I have tried to stay friends with my acquaintances from the past, but it is always a struggle. They know what my life used to be and what it is now. As hard as they try to be understanding, they sometimes say things which can be absolutely devastating. "You graduated at the top of the class and had high ambitions of going on to university. Now look at you (pointing to me struggling to sit upright in my wheelchair)." Yes, it is true. My life was once brimming with hopes and dreams of achieving great things. Now, it seems, I am just grateful every day I am not hospitalized.
As time has progressed, I have moved away from my old friends and have made new friends. New friends are always a blessing because they do not know my past. Most people assume I have always been disabled and have always used a ventilator to breathe. Perhaps it is just hiding from my past, but I love it when people do not compare my present life to the life I once lived. It is hard to live with a chronic medical condition, and it is even harder to endure when people are always reminding me of my past. New friends are grateful for the things I can do today. They give praises for accomplishing small tasks, which give me confidence and hope that the little things in life do matter. It is hard to live a life of broken dreams. My past ambitions are always lurking around corners and in the most unexpected places. As hard as it is to forget the past and to let go of my old life, God continues to send new people into my life, making it easier and easier to live my current life and press on toward the future.
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