Trust and leave the rest to God

Any time I make a commitment to do the Lord's work, I always pray for strength and leave the rest up to God. Burdened with the desire to host a Bible study, my trust in God has been tested many times. There have been so many time when I was overwhelmed with fatigue and had no idea how I was going to lead a Bible study. I would pray, make a large cup of very strong caffeinated tea and head off to study. Time and time again, God would show me His glory. When my breathing was too ragged to lead the study, God would raise up one of the participants to lead the study. When my brain would become lost and confused in my notes, God would impress on one of the participants to ask a question, which would often lead me back to my place in my notes. Every Tuesday night, God provided the strength, knowledge and cooperation of the other participants to make each session a success.

When I was scheduling my tracheostomy surgery, I intentionally asked to have the surgery on Wednesday. I host Bible study on Tuesday nights. A Wednesday surgery would give me almost a full week to recover before hosting the next session. Unfortunately, as hard as I tried, I was still recovering in the ICU on the following Tuesday. With a heavy heart, I had to cancel Bible study. The following week, I was very fatigued and could only mutter a few words before I started coughing and choking. My vocal cords were still very weak, and my lungs were making a lot of mucus from the irritation caused by the tracheostomy. Determined not to cancel the session, I prayed to God, "If this Bible study is supposed to happen, give me the strength to make it through it. If this session is not supposed to happen, then let no one show up for it." Before the session, I was notified by a couple people that they could not attend. Determined not to cancel, I headed off to Bible study. I waited beyond the start time of the Bible study, and no one showed up. "Ok, Lord. No one showed up. Thanks! My voice is so weak, and I am so tired. I am thrilled to be able to go home and rest."

The following week, I was making tremendous improvement with my voice. My lungs were getting used to the tracheostomy and making much, MUCH less mucus, which meant I was coughing less and choking less on the mucus. I still was having problems maintaining a strong voice without giving way to coughing spells which resulted in choking on coughed up mucus. After a short time, my voice would give out and soon you could not hear me above the sound of my ventilator. Again, determined not to cancel Bible study, I headed off for another session. This time, God richly blessed me! Somehow during the entire session, my voice was strong and clear. I had no coughing spells and never once choked on mucus! It was an incredible miracle! "O give thanks onto the LORD, call upon His name, make known His deeds among the people. Sing psalms onto Him, sing psalms onto Him; talk of His wondrous works. Seek the LORD and His strength, seek His face evermore" (Psalm 105:1-2, 4).