God had a different plan...

My mom posted on Facebook one of the sweetest messages about me. She reflected on how, when I was little, I was always into mischief, and she had to be one step ahead of me. She kept me as active as possible in dance, baton twirling, gymnastics, swimming, etc. Any activity that was available, my mom put me in it to wear out my endless supply of energy.

Thinking about all the energy I once had makes me terribly sad. I struggle to get through each day. Resting in bed and taking naps occupy most of my day. Now as the disease continues to progress, I rely on a ventilator to get me through each day. As often as I wonder where all my energy went, I am very grateful I had so much of it as a kid. I had grand adventures and was able to see and do so many things. From living abroad in different countries to participating in endless competitions and performances to climbing mountains and flying high in the sky, I live a life of no regrets. I am grateful I was able to do so many things when I was young.

At the end of my mom's message, she says, "God had a different plan." I have thought about this over and over again through the years. I once was very depressed and angry I was not able to do and accomplish all that I had my heart set upon. However, as I have grown in my relationship with Jesus, I have realized His plan is much, MUCH better than anything I could have imagined. Through my health trials, I have met so many people in need of support and love. I have been able to pray and give words of comfort to them. Although I am no longer able to venture much beyond the confines of my house, through the internet I have been able to share my love for Jesus with people from all parts of the world. And thus, God has allowed me to accomplish one of my heart's desires--being an international missionary.

So although I get discouraged about not having an abundance of energy, I am very grateful God is able to use me in my current state of health to share my love for Him with the world...without leaving the comforts of my bed. What an incredible blessing! "Sing unto the LORD, all the earth: show forth from day to day His salvation. Declare His glory among the heathen; His marvelous works among all nations." (1 Chronicles 16:23-24)