Don't touch me: It's Hammer time!

Whenever I go out in public, I am always extremely cautious about people touching me, about people touching my medical equipment and I constantly wash my hands. Having a tracheostomy means viruses, fungi and bacteria have free access to my lungs and respiratory tract; I am severely immunocompromised. I cannot tell you how many times people who have runny noses, sniffles, a hoarse voice, etc., all feel the need to give me a great big hug. I am not disinclined to accept these warm offers of affection, but I am always annoyed when someone who clearly has some sort of illness touches me.

There is one song which is on a continuous loop in my head whenever I am around other people. It is MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This...but I always change the words to "Don't touch me!" Yes, over and over the song plays in my head. Any time someone wants to get close to me, I have to quickly access the situation and determine how sick a person might be. If I suspect any sort of illness, I will stop the person from touching me. I will put my hand out to ward off the hug and tell the person I have been feeling sick. This is usually stops the person from getting any closer to me.

Now that the coronavirus has folks practicing contact precautions and social distancing, no one is hugging or touching anyone. (For once, people understand how germs can be easily passed from person to person.) I feel like MC Hammer's song should be the coronavirus's theme song. Now if you are not familiar with MC Hammer, he wore parachute pants in his music video. These are large, ridiculous pants. During this time of stress, I think we need to follow MC Hammer's fashion. I can only imagine people going to the store or showing up for work in parachute pants!

(Yes, for of those of you wondering, I listened to U Can't Touch This the entire time I wrote this blog post! It's Hammer time!)