I know many people have good intentions, but sometimes words can be said which do not bring cheerfulness to a conversation. People often say things without understanding their words can inflict more harm than good.
Being chronically ill for many, many years, the one phrase which often rips a hole into my heart is: “You are too young to have all these health issues." I believe when people utter this phrase, they intend to bring sympathy or comfort to me. However, their words often have the exact opposite effect. I usually do not think about how different my life is compared to other people my age. When folks remind me that I have too many health problems for someone my age, I instantly am saddened.
For what it is worth, I have been very gleeful as the digits in my age increase. Suddenly, my youth is fleeting away. Hooray! I am now old! People stopped telling me how unfortunate it was for me to be so young and have so many medical problems. However, this changed again when I received a tracheostomy and started using invasive ventilation. Now, once again, I am "young" and have too many medical issues for a person my age. <sigh> I am not sure how old a person on a ventilator has to be before people stop reminding him about all his health challenges.
Sometimes, people's remarks often have me scratching my head. I was talking to a man who is nearly 80 years old. He was describing some of the aches and pains he has, and some of the blood work he had to have done to make sure he did not have various diseases. With the exception of PSA (prostate-specfic antigen), I have had all the blood tests he mentioned numerous times. At the end of the conversation he tells me, "At least you have your health. You don't have to worry about all these health issues us old folks have to deal with." I paused, looked at my ventilator and then shook my head. I remained mute, but I thought, "You are talking to a person who has been constantly in and out of the hospital for the last two years, uses a PICC line to receive IV antibiotics, uses a ventilator to breathe and uses a wheelchair for mobility. Yep. I am the poster child for ideal health." LOL!!!
Lastly, this comment made me nearly fall to the ground laughing. I was talking to a nurse, giving him a short medical history. He reviews my systems asking if I have various common medical conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc. When he gets to the respiratory system the conversation goes as follows:
Nurse: You smoke.
Me: No.
Nurse: Well, you used to smoke.
Me: No, I have never smoked.
Nurse: WHAT!!!??? You have NEVER smoked and have all these respiratory issues!? That's so not fair! You didn't do anything to deserve this.
Me: Does anyone really do anything to warrant bad health? "The LORD gives and the LORD takes. Blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21)
The nurse shakes his head and continues asking the rest of his health history questions.
You may be asking why the last interaction is so humorous to me. I have had similar encounters with other people. They see my tracheostomy and ventilator and believe this is a direct result of smoking. One young lady, after seeing me on my ventilator, told me she was going to stop smoking. She said she did not want to end up on a ventilator. Perhaps when kids see me on a ventilator, it might scare them into not smoking or quitting. What a blessing for God to use my respiratory failure to help others prevent future lung damage.
"He who restrains his words has knowledge,
And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise;
When he closes his lips, his is considered prudent."
(Proverbs 17:27-28)
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