As I reflect back on this last year, I can barely comprehend all the trials and challenges I have had to endure. I have never kept track of all the days I have spent in the hospital; however, this year is ranked number one for days spent in the intensive care unit. From May through October, I was constantly in and out of the hospital. The time between hospitalizations was sometimes less than 24 hours. The main reasons for the hospitalizations were respiratory infections, pancreatitis attacks and anaphylactic reactions.
In 2018, I fought eight different hospital-acquired infections. I became infected with my first bacteria in July of 2017. Finally in May of 2018, I was free from this infection. However, in the meantime, I acquired several other infections. The most potent infection I acquired was from a hospital ventilator. I had a procedure done in which a cyst was drained and removed from my pancreas, and my pancreas ducts were enlarged. Unknown to anyone, the hospital ventilator used during the procedure harbored a bacteria called pseudomonas. It took a few weeks for the bacteria to take hold. However, when the pseudomonas became comfortable, it exploded into a very dangerous infection. I was hospitalized for 12 days..and yes, during this hospitalization, I acquired another bacterial infection.
The other notable experiences for 2018 were my two major anaphylactic reactions. (I also had a few other anaphylactic reactions while hospitalized, but the reactions were minor compared to these other two.) My first major reaction happened when my neurologist insisted I receive intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG). I had a very, very bad feeling about this treatment. I delayed receiving the treatment for as long as possible. Finally, when there were no more excuses and no more days in which I could lobby for more time, I received the infusion. Within 20 minutes of the poisonous liquid slowly dripping into a vein in my arm, I was clinging to life. I had an anaphylactic reaction and was wheeled (just down the hall) to the emergency department. My other major anaphylactic reaction occurred when I received an intravenous antibiotic. Praise God, a home health nurse was at my home when the drug was administered. When the reaction happened, the nurse had IV Benadryl and epinephrine. She administered those drugs and called 911.
The Book of James has been tremendously helpful this year. And in fact, I feel like the following verses sum up most of 2018:
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4).
In 2018, there were many times in which crazy events occurred which endangered my life. I often was alone in this fight. It was me against the medical system. Thankfully, during these times, God allowed me to see that although I might have been alone in the physical world, in the spiritual world, I was surrounded by God's love and grace. Each challenge was a test to either cling to God or trust in my own ways. As I learned to trust God more and more, I seemed to have passed each trial. When a test was passed, God moved me on to new, more complicated situations.
As I have grown in my faith, I am trying to embrace my trials. When everything seems to be falling apart or when God seems to be slamming many doors closed, I stop and thank God for these situations. I know with each new obstacle, I must have cleared the one before. I know I should be rejoicing because I am climbing the ladder of faith. As hard as it is to have to wait or have to do things in a very complicated manner, I must continue to trust that God is in control. My vision is limited; His is infinite. Many times the path which seems to be the easiest and the straightest is often the one fraught with the most toils and dangers. The path which seems complicated and convoluted is often full of many blessings and miracles. If we allow ourselves to trust God, He will abundantly overflow our cup with His love and mercy.
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