When I wonder why did God lead me in this direction...

In 2024, after teaching a Sunday School class, a woman came up to me and cried her eyes out that she was suffering tremendously from the loss of a loved one. She asked me to do something--to help her. I was a little taken aback. I was sick and terribly tired, but who was I to tell this woman no? I agreed to help her.

When I arrived home, I researched grief support groups. A program called GriefShare popped up. After reading reviews about the program, I decided to ask the pastor if this was a program we wanted at our congregation. He eagerly said yes, but it had to be approved by the leadership. Thankfully, the leadership said yes, and now I was heading a GriefShare program.

I wondered over and over again why I was being pulled in this direction. I did not want to lead the group, but considering everything that had happened, I felt like I had to lead the group.

The GriefShare program went well. Many of the people told me how beneficial it was to them. Since GriefShare took up a substantial amount of time, I decided to document some of my experiences and post them to my YouTube channel. Did I intend for these videos to benefit anyone? The answer is absolutely not. I only did the videos to keep my YouTube channel alive while I dedicated a lot of time to GriefShare.

At the end of the summer, a precious young woman passed away. I was devastated. The young lady's mother had been in contact with me for a number of years. We developed a wonderful friendship, and I had the honor of praying for the mother and daughter. When I heard the young lady passed away, I wondered how the family was going to cope. I asked myself, "Should I recommend GriefShare to the mother?" I decided not to. I thought the family needs time to grieve.

Nearly every day, I prayed for the family. I hoped God would help them during this intense mourning period.

On Sunday night, as I was trying to go to sleep, I suddenly had the urge to reach out to the young lady's mother. I thought, "I should contact her. It has been a little over three months since her daughter passed away."

The next day, I went on to Facebook, and there was a message from the young woman's mother. I thanked God for the message. I replied to the message. In the evening, I suddenly wondered if the mother might be ready for GriefShare. I told myself the next day, I would message the mother and encourage her to attend a GriefShare program.

Today, I logged in to Facebook, and there was another message from the mother. She stated about 3-4 weeks ago, she joined a GriefShare class at her church. She said she knew about the program from the videos I had posted to my YouTube channel.

Tears filled my eyes. I was so happy the woman was attending a GriefShare class. I was overwhelmed with gratitude that God set in motion so many events. If you would have told me one of the reasons I was to start a GriefShare program was to help someone across the country, I would have said you are crazy. And yet, that is what happened.

I hope GriefShare is a blessing to this mother and to countless other people.

Last Man Standing

Last week Tuesday, my mom rode in a car with someone to a community event. The person was sick. My mom was not very excited to be exposed to illness. The following day, the woman contacted my mom. The woman tested positive for Flu B. The woman was very sick.

On Friday evening, my mom did not feel well. She abruptly became quite sick. I spent Saturday wearing gloves around the house and washing my gloves frequently to hopefully not get sick.

Yesterday, I noticed my dad seemed to have a cough. He sometimes has issues with allergies. So, I gave him to benefit of the doubt that his extra coughs were due to allergies. Last night, we went to the grocery store to buy food for Thanksgiving. My dad was definitely not feeling well. I rolled down my window for part of the drive to hopefully mitigate my exposure to his sickness. When we got home from the store, my dad laid down on the couch and started to cough his head off.

Today, my dad is very unwell. I have quarantined myself to my room. When my dad had fallen asleep this morning in the living room (he refuses to go to bed because he does not want to be exposed to my mom's sickness), I quickly raided the kitchen. I normally do not drink bottled water, but I do not want to go out to the kitchen to get more water to drink from the faucet when my glass runs out. So, I took five bottles of water, a bag of pears, and a jar of soup from the fridge. I hope this is enough to last me through the day.

I seem to be the last man standing. I hope I can avoid illness. This sickness is a very nasty bug. In the meantime, I suppose I should film YouTube. I am feeling well today. I should take advantage of a good health day.

 

Crazy Credit Card Escapades

In August, my family was planning travels for next year. We decided to take United Airlines for the first part of our trip. Coming home, American Airlines had cheaper flights, but we would have to pay to check out luggage. I have an American Airlines credit card. However, it is the free card with no benefits. I have been inundated with offers to upgrade my free credit card to a paid premium credit card. With the paid premium card, I would receive one free checked piece of luggage if I (and any companions) flew on American Airlines and used the premium credit card to pay for the flight. Furthermore, since the card is a paid credit card, if I accepted the "limited time" offer, the first year's annual fee of $99 would be waived.

 On August, 15, I requested my American Airlines credit card to be upgraded. But, then came a snag. I wanted to IMMEDIATELY use the card to purchase my flight (and a flight for my relative). However, I did not have the credit card number. Thus, I could not book the flight. I would have to wait until I received the credit card in 10-14 days.

Airfare is a fickle creature. When you find it on sale, you book it because in a few hours, the price of the ticket might increase by $50 or more. It appeared as though both American and United had their flights discounted. If I waited 10-14 days, I did not know if the airfares would still be available at a reduced rate.

As my relative was looking at flights on United Airlines, he was offered a free United credit card. This would allow him (and one companion) to receive one free checked bag on any flights booked with the credit card. If my relative booked his flight and applied for the credit card at the same time, he could use his new credit card to pay for the flight (and thus receive one free checked luggage). My relative applied for the card and was approved. He decided to fly on United Airlines.

I reluctantly added my name to the reservation. I had now applied for the premium American Airlines credit card for nothing. I would not need the new American Airlines credit card because we were now flying on United Airlines.

My new American Airlines credit card arrived in the mail at the end of August. I figured I had a year to use it (and acquire airline miles) before I had to cancel the card or change back to the free version of the credit card.

Earlier this month, I received a notification in the mail that starting in November, I would be billed $99 for my American Airlines credit card. I was confused. Wasn't part of the promotion to have the annual fee paid for for the first year? I called the credit card company.

I explained to the man I applied for the new card on August 15. I was now notified I was going to be billed for the credit card in November. Was this correct? The man said it was. (I know I was calling overseas, but surely even overseas a year means something greater than 2.5 months? But, I guess not.)

I asked the man if I could change my premium credit card back to the free credit card. He said I could. I authorized the change, and voilà, I no longer have to pay the $99 "annual" fee for a credit card I had less than 3 months. Ah, the things we do to get free baggage on an airplane.

So Exhausted. Time for a Break

Every week, I search and search for precious energy to get through to week, to get through the day. When evening comes, my body feels as though lead weights are attached to all my limbs. My eyes ache, and my head throbs with pain.

I  had grand visions of taking some time off this summer, but that never came to fruition. Too many things occurred such as trying to get all my medical videos edited and uploaded to YouTube. Also, my health was not fantastic. I was slowly recovering from an infection in my brain. 

Week after week, I pushed myself to continue on. But now, I am at my breaking point. I need some time off. It has been more than a year since I have taken any time away from YouTube and social media. 

With that said, I am taking some time away from being online. I am going to rest, recuperate, and not respond or even check social media. If people email me or message me with some urgent issue, I will sadly not be there for the person. I am trying not to feel guilty. Instead, I am trying to fortify myself and tell myself that it is ok to step away. It is ok to take time for myself.

I hope everyone is well. I hope everyone carries on. I hope people understand I need to take some time away from the stresses of YouTube and social media and allow my body to rest. 

I never want to book another flight ever again

The last two days, I have been busy coordinating with my mom travel plans for next year. We are planning on traveling as a family for an exciting vacation. There were many parts to the adventure. First, we needed to nail down dates. This was quite tenuous because we had to figure out lodging accommodations which would fit our needs.

Next, we had to figure out how to travel home. One would think we could just fly home, but not so fast. The flights are messy and expensive. So, instead, we are taking a detour and traveling to a different city and spending a few night there. Why? Because it is cheaper to fly to another city and stay a few nights than it is to fly directly home. So, we had to find a hotel for a few nights.

Then, we had to get flights. Most people would not think this would be very labor intensive, but it was. Not everyone is traveling at the same time or in the same class. I had to figure out which airlines flew to which cities. Then, we have luggage which needs to be accounted for. Some airlines allow luggage, and some are very strict and do not allow a carry-on item.

After spending several days researching flights and trying to use airline miles and paying cash, I finally figured out how to get almost everyone from their home to the vacation spot to the intermediate spot and back home again. At the moment, everyone has a seat and is flying on an airline. Some of the flights are refundable. So, at any time, a family member might tell me he/she does not like his/her flight and want to change it.

Filming a Fantastic Video...only to find out the audio is TERRIBLE

Yesterday, I filmed a video. I was not feeling well, and the video took a lot of energy out of me. At the end of the video, I realized, my microphone was not attached to my sweater. Instead, it was inside my sweater. I had originally clipped on my microphone, but then I unclipped it because I wanted to get a photo for my thumbnail. I do not like it when my thumbnail photo has a microphone attached to my shirt.

With that said, once I got a thumbnail photo, I began filming. I completely forgot to take the microphone from underneath my sweater and attach it to the outside of my shirt. When I got done filming I listened to the audio. The audio was TERRIBLE. I then realized the microphone was not attached to my sweater.

I tried to increase the audio in the editing program, but, it sounded as though I was talking into a tin can. There was a lot of echo and the quality was very poor.

I have decided, I need to re-film the entire video. I am very upset. I am so tired, and I do not watch to re-shoot the video, but I have to. This video means a lot to me, and I would feel terrible that a video I feel so passionate about has awful audio.

Now, I need to salvage my hair and set-up all my equipment. Hopefully, my hair looks respectable in the video, but if not, I can use a lot of videos/photos over the audio to hide my less than pleasing appearance.

Hopefully, today the video will not take me as long to film because I have already recorded it once. And if I get too tired, I may only re-do the first part of the video and use yesterday’s video with the poor audio at the end of the final video. Very few people actually watch to the end of my videos on YouTube; so if the end of the video has bad audio, not many people will notice. Watch for the new video on Sunday and find out how much of the video I was able to re-film.

End of Summer Blues

I love summer, and I always have big plans. I create a mental list of what I want to do and a general timeline for getting everything accomplished. This year, I wanted to get all my YouTube videos which would be released this summer edited and then take a week off. I imagined I would have time to work on my book, enjoy time outside and perhaps watch a movie. However, my summer did not turn out this way.

I spent a lot of my summer editing videos. All my videos took a long time to put together. On my one YouTube channel, I was posting videos from my trip to Iceland. Those videos took an ASTRONOMICAL amount of time. I feel like I did not spend that much time in the past editing travel videos, but this year, the videos came together slowly. Also, I wanted to record voice-overs for some of the tours I went on. The voice-overs added a lot of time needed to edit (and also to film) the videos.

I am happy to report, all the videos have been edited. I am sad to report, this week the final video is going to be released, which means, I need to work on next week’s video. Once again, I have no time to take a break.

On my other channel, I have finally gotten through my medical escapade of getting treatment for a fungal infection in my brain. I have one more video I plan to release about having a fungal infection. That video is slated to be released this week. Then, I have nothing planned. Perhaps I will do a video explaining how the fungal infection has affected my brain, but perhaps, I will pivot and focus on a different subject matter. Nonetheless, I have no videos completed for next week.

I do not like to be in this position. I like to have at least two weeks of videos (but preferably four weeks of videos) ready at any moment. I do this as insurance in case I become very sick or simply do not have time to film.

Here we are, at the end of summer. Not only did I not get to take a break, but I am also scrambling to produce videos.

I am trying to fortify myself and encourage myself that this is all ok. God wants me to be in this situation. I was listening to a preacher talk about a rather famous person in the religious community. The famous person had an amazing mind and had so much he wanted to accomplish. However, a series of events occurred which prevented the person from doing anything more than running between his two jobs. In the end, the person was able to break free from his work and write incredible texts which are still used to this day. 

I need to take strength and remind myself, if God wants me to accomplish something, I will be given the time, energy, and strength to do so. In the meantime, I should not be sad that I was not able to enjoy a week off this summer. Perhaps I might be able to enjoy some time off next summer.