Remember the world does not always like kindness

This week has been very chaotic. On Monday, I went to an event. A strange thing happened. Two people gave me compliments. I was shocked and stunned. As of late, so many people have vented their dislike of me, it was hard to accept kind words.

The following day, I met two new people. I did my best to be hospitable. Could I have done things differently? Yes. But I thought I was very cordial and tried hard to be kind to the people. The two people let me know they were displeased with me. As hard as I had tried and continued to try, the people did not like me.

Last night, I did something which is hard for me to do. I called someone on the phone. The phone call was one of concern. The person is having health issues. I wanted to get an update and ask if the person needed any prayers.

The phone call was a disaster. It was as if I walked into a land mine. The person was hostile towards me and was very upset I called. I wanted to ask the person a few things, but the phone call disconnected. I waited a few minutes, and then I called the person back. The person did not answer the phone. I left a message and asked the person to call me back. So far, my call has not been returned.

After the great start to the week, I need to remind myself there are those in the world who have an immense dislike towards me. I try to be nice. I try to be kind. But so often, as hard as I try, my efforts are met with disdain and hate. I have no animosity toward the people this week who were less than kind to me. In fact, I have prayed for them. They need peace, comfort and kindness in their lives. As much as I would like to give that to them, they cannot accept the gifts if they are unwilling to receive them. My heart aches as I think about these very broken people.

What is that smell...oh, it's me!

Many people in this world love showering. I am not one of those individuals. It takes a lot of effort to wrap up my IV line (PICC line) in plastic and keep it dry during my encounter with the water pouring down on top of me. I shower as fast as I can because the exercise in hygiene really tires me out.

And the part I hate the most is feeling "wet" for the next four hours (maybe more maybe less depending on the day). I do not like to feel damp. With having long hair, it takes about four hours for my hair to dry, and even after it dries, it still feels damp to me. My trach tube holder gets wet when showering, and it takes several hours for that to dry. It also does not matter how much I dry off my skin, my body just feels damp for several hours after showering.

With all that said, I do not like showering. I try to plan when I shower to when I film YouTube. My hair looks the best the day after I shower. So, I attempt to coordinate my showering with when I am going to film YouTube.

This week, my hair was a tangled mess from filming last week. (I usually have to use hair spray in my hair, but last week, my hair was doing its own thing. I had to use A LOT or hairspray to calm down my unruly hair.) I meant to wash my hair on Sunday because I had an appointment on Monday. However, that did not happen. I did my best on Monday to run a brush through my hair and pulled my hair into a braid.

My appointment went very awry, which caused me a lot of stress. Stress makes me sweat profusely. Even though I was freezing to death because the heat was not working in the building, after I left the appointment, I was drenched in sweat. When I got home, I stunk. I needed to shower. Unfortunately, I was far too exhausted to endure a shower.

A friend came in from out of town yesterday. I was able to meet her and talk with her. I hoped she did not notice that I really stunk. I was wearing several layers of clothing and hoped she did not breathe in when hugging me.

This morning, I took off my pajamas, and an awful odor hit my nostrils. I gasped to myself, "What is that smell?" I then realized it was me. I mustered up the strength and energy to take a shower by resting all morning. This afternoon, I endured the torture of taking a shower, and now I am battling my hair being wet and feeling gross because I showered. But at last, my hair is free from the hairspray, and I no longer smell.

Now that my hair is clean, I should probably film YouTube tomorrow. I have no scripts written and have no ambition. Perhaps tonight, I will be struck with an amazing burst of creative energy...if not, I will spend tomorrow lamenting that I have not filmed anything this week.

Happy New Year!

Time is a strange entity. My days seem to pass quickly, and yet, as I reflect that another year has passed, it seems like New Year's Day one year ago was so long ago. So much has happened. 

As I was riding in the car last night, enjoying a short ride through the neighborhood, I pondered the things I have done in the past on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I have celebrated at Disney World, Disneyland, Busch Gardens and have gone to the Rose Bowl Parade. I have done so many things, and yet, here I am doing what has been a recent tradition--staying home and resting. 

I watched the New Year's celebration in Hong Kong on television yesterday morning. I celebrated many hours too early because I knew I most likely would not be awake when midnight came. Perhaps one day, I might be able to travel to Hong Kong and experience it in person. The fireworks were quite spectacular.

My mom asked me this morning if I stayed up to ring in the New Year. I laughed and said, "I was in bed at 9:30 and was fast asleep by 10:30 p.m." (Our neighbors usually set off fireworks starting at 11:45 p.m. I slept right through their annual celebration.)

I hope this year is a year of health and energy. There are a number of things on my things to do list--continue writing my book, working on YouTube videos and sorting out some medical issues. I also hope my parents have a year of good health.

May 2025 be your bet year yet! Happy New Year!